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Old 08-03-2014, 02:43 AM
 
Location: Purgatory
6,387 posts, read 6,275,196 times
Reputation: 9921

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Hi all, very late to the party on this one but i've considered myself "friendless" for the past few yrs. Im in my early 30s.

Here is exactly what happened:

1. i was close with this one group for nearly 2 decades. People would come and go thru hs, college and after but there was always a nice "core group" of people. My ex was one of these people (cousin to someone else in group.) His new gf now wife HATED me w a passion. I let everyone know how scared i was that i would not be "welcomed" for much longer (she had a lot of parties and didn't invite me) yet despite all of the reassuring, guess what happened?

2. My bff since age 12 had a baby and then literally DUMPED ME over something minor and bizarre, about 2yrs ago. (When she had a baby she started getting VERY close w her mom who never liked me.)

3. All of my friends are married or coupled which was always cool (i'm usually a serial monogamist.) When i separated from my ex, i was going to social event alone and the women were always giving me odd vibes. Like, i'd be talking to guys i have been friends w forever (even longer than the chicks) and "their women" (also my supposed friends) would swoop in and act all irritable.

4. I recently work from home due to a disability.

5. I have a hard time keeping any new friends lately because i have a sleep disorder which makes me cancel a lot.

6. Within the last 2 yrs, i had 2 very close deaths in my fam. I expected that friends from that "core group" would still be around but guess what??! WRONG!! They all gave me the "Is there anything i can do" speech, but the thing is when i really DID NEED people to do something (mostly give me small breaks from being new caretaker of my demented grandmother 24/7), no one was there for me! It was a HUGE slap in the face which woke me up.

Yup . . . . . while i do have some acquaintances, i have sadly not have "friends" for years. I NEVER would have thought i'd end up here *sigh*



It doesn't help that i hibernate 6months out of the year. So i am at least being PROACTIVE and moving this winter
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Old 08-03-2014, 10:08 AM
 
14,078 posts, read 16,607,365 times
Reputation: 17654
Quote:
Originally Posted by Doll Eyes View Post
How common is it to not have any friends at all? Is anyone in their 20s or 30s that do not have any friends?
I don't have any friends that I hang out with regularly or feel like I could reach out to if I needed something important, but I have casual acquaintances.
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Old 08-04-2014, 07:06 AM
 
Location: USA
6,230 posts, read 6,922,180 times
Reputation: 10784
Quote:
Originally Posted by Doll Eyes View Post
do these other people who don't have friends have twitter, instagram, FB, etc? I don't have any of those things b/c I consider them for people with friends.

Nope, no social media sites at all.
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Old 08-05-2014, 09:36 AM
 
Location: Santa Monica
36,853 posts, read 17,357,575 times
Reputation: 14459
I'm way too laid back for friendships. The overwhelming percentage of people demand too much for official friendship.

I'm "cool" with a few folks who understand it ain't the end of the world if we don't talk for a few weeks.
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Old 08-06-2014, 02:33 PM
 
Location: USA
6,230 posts, read 6,922,180 times
Reputation: 10784
I have absolutely no friends or acquaintances . How rare/odd is this? I would like to think it's more common than I'd imagine. I have struggled with social interaction my entire life. I have been fired/bullied out of many jobs because of it regardless of how good a worker I was.
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Old 08-06-2014, 05:11 PM
 
Location: Northville, MI
11,879 posts, read 14,204,961 times
Reputation: 6381
I have many friends, but our relationships are not that strong.
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Old 08-07-2014, 06:17 PM
 
Location: "Daytonnati"
4,241 posts, read 7,174,492 times
Reputation: 3014
There was a long period after college, when I lived in California, where I had no friends.

Well, I was still in contact with a former dorm roommate and old classmate, but that was very long distance (California vs Kentucky). In California, no one. I was also coming out at the time, so a strange era. I guess during this time I met my partner-to-be, and he became my friend as well as lover, but from say 1984-1987, no friends.

Here in Ohio, a similar situation. Never really successfully made deep friendships.

I should say when I was a kid I didn't have any close friends either. I did develop some very close friendships (two or three) in my Jr High and High School years, though, one such friendship in college. So, the period of close/deep friendships was rather brief in my life...say jr high/high school mostly, then a bit in college, then my lover. Now nothing.
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Old 08-07-2014, 09:13 PM
 
Location: ohio
3,551 posts, read 2,531,925 times
Reputation: 4405
Im a guy, an introvert. Thru most of my teens, 20s and 30s I had no friends.

When I did have a friend, they eventually fade away, always. My wife is somewhat less introverted, has had the same experience.

Never had a group of close friends. The rare times I've had 2 or more friends, they dont like each other much at all.

I am now at age 54, have had zero friends since the mid 1990s.
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Old 08-07-2014, 10:09 PM
 
4,749 posts, read 4,321,984 times
Reputation: 4970
Because of my depression (started at 15) I didn't have any friends until a year ago. I'm 20 now.
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Old 08-13-2014, 05:55 PM
 
8 posts, read 9,645 times
Reputation: 16
I'm mostly friendless by choice and surprisingly everyone in my immediate family doesn't have friends. Even my extremely extroverted sisters but maybe that was because they beat them all up and stole their man. As for me, I had friends but it faded quickly due to neglect. Relationships are just too much effort for me right now. I'm not lonely so not in any rush. *shrugs*
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