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I have a lot of platonic female friends, so I fully believe that men and women can just be friends. However, if you have ANY romantic interest in someone of the opposite sex and they ain't having it, do not put yourself through the torture of taking the "consolation prize" of JUST being their friend. Just break all contact with them.
I agree completely. If you've got it bad for someone and they don't have any of the same feelings toward you, you probably shouldn't hang around them, it would be uncomfortable for both parties.
I agree completely. If you've got it bad for someone and they don't have any of the same feelings toward you, you probably shouldn't hang around them, it would be uncomfortable for both parties.
Yeah...
Especially when the other person is in a relationship with someone else.
Had this debate with a much younger friend (young enough to be my daughter)...I told her based on my own experiences that it was not really possible, because the "crossing the line" always comes up and men are just "wired differently"! (I found it fascinating when Chaz Bono discussed and sympathized with men when she began Testosterone therapy how much sexual thought etc. came with it).
And when I would see that inevitably these so called friends making comments rife with innuendo or outright come-ons on her Facebook posts I knew, she knew I had been proven right!
In reflecting back on male friends I've had, inevitably either they would cross the line (thus making further interaction uncomfortable or LOL we would be friends with benefits until they or I moved on).
A few fell out of my life when they married (I totally understand that...I wouldn't want a SO being best buds with another woman either).
So in summary, "No"...men and women cannot really just be friends!
Yes. I am just friends with a man at work and a man from grad school. None of us are in any way attracted to each other that I know of. We've been friends for years and it has not caused any issues.
And based on the experience of many other people - it is perfectly possible and even easily attainable.
This is what we get when we put anecdote and personal opinion up against other anecdote and personal opinion.
Question is - is there any reason to think it is not possible aside from you over extrapolating personal experience into a baseless generalisation?
That is not a summary so much as a re-statement of your initial outright assertion.
True this is everyone here expressing their own personal experiences...however I have observed this for other people in my social circles and various family members as well. YMMV
YES they really can. I have some women friends who are DAMN attractive physically and they feel I'm attractive as well but there's no sexual attraction or chemistry between whatsoever. We're COMPLETELY platonic in everything we do and we don't even think of anything sexual or romantic with each other. I don't know why this question is still asked to be honest and I feel the people who ask this question usually have an ulterior motive to "befriending" the opposite sex.
I can't imagine my life without having some lady friends. If all my friends were guys and the only girls I had were girls I was romantically involved in, it would be quite lame. Women tend to just give different dynamics in relationships even if they are just "one of the boys". Plus, if you have attractive lady friends it tends to have some perks in your social life.
So YES men and women absolutely can just be friends. Its like saying men and women can't be brother and sister, or cousins or any other relation. Though I know that's a different topic but still.
I honestly avoid having female friends. Too much drama and as someone who has a very high sex drive the sexuality is a distraction in itself. I stick with hookers.
True this is everyone here expressing their own personal experiences...however I have observed this for other people in my social circles and various family members as well. YMMV
So what? You have 5 anecdotes instead of 3? 7 instead of 5? 20 instead of 15? You are still trotting out personal anecdote - possible made up - to support a contention that is otherwise baseless. A contention that goes against just as many anecdotes against it as for it.
Which - as I asked already - leaves me asking you once again whether you have any basis whatsoever for the seemingly spurious nonsense claim that men and women can not just be friends?
So what? You have 5 anecdotes instead of 3? 7 instead of 5? 20 instead of 15? You are still trotting out personal anecdote - possible made up - to support a contention that is otherwise baseless. A contention that goes against just as many anecdotes against it as for it.
Which - as I asked already - leaves me asking you once again whether you have any basis whatsoever for the seemingly spurious nonsense claim that men and women can not just be friends?
Hmm! So you keep asking just me when others on this thread have expressed my point of view as well so first let me elaborate for myself....I've worked in 3 fast food restaurants, an automotive parts and service store, and an office for an air conditioning service company, before becoming first a secondary teacher and now elementary school librarian. (I'm 50).
What happened with the various guys I knew was either we would start off as friends and then they would "go there" and the friendship would either end, or continue (for a bit) but there would be an awkwardness or I would feel the same attraction and we'd date (but ultimately it wouldn't work out) and I then I wouldn't have their friendship anymore!
For some the friendship also died out when they got married....I understand...when I was married my husband didn't want me being friends with men either!
Now when I did a google search using the title thread as my search question these articles came up first and support my opinion!
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