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My did my wife's mother ask me what I thought about Dave if she didn't want a true honest answer? I have to assume that she asked me the question for honesty not political correctness.
You seem a little old not to have learned this yet (not meaning to sound snarky - just surprised) . . . but you don't have to answer every question posed to you.
Best to remain non-commital when it comes to family members, especially new ones that no one knows well. That is common sense. Things get repeated and if not repeated, the people you said them to often remember those comments and they can end up telling the person more about you, than about the other person in question.
Always best to be gracious and non-commital when it comes to family -- especially with one's MIL.
So at the last family gathering everyone wanted to meet the new husband of one of my wife's sisters, Dave. They had met through the personal ads and had only dated four months before getting married. He had been married three times before and brings six children from previous marriages who are living with him to join the three kids my wife's sister brings.
He is no Mike Brady and I suspect the kids of this huge blended family are going to get along as well as the Brady Bunch. (The 1970s TV Show)
What really left an impression on me is how unfriendly the new husband (Dave) was at the event to introduce him to the extended family. Many people tried but could not get much more than a couple of words out of him. He works in sales so it is not a case of him being shy. He is incredibly good looking and self confident and makes lots of money and has quite the LinkedIn page.
So after the event my wife's elderly mother asked me, "So what do you think of Sue's new husband Dave?" How should I respond and how should I interact with Dave in future events?
Just stay home. I seriously doubt anybody really wants to hear what you think.
Yet another thread in the same tired old vein from the indefatigable OP. I rather doubt that your mother in law (who must be in her mid to late 80s) would ask your opinion about anyone in the family given your intense dislike and criticism of every single one of 'em.
Exactly. I'm sure the question was directed at the wife, but the OP probably barged in.
I would say he appeared a bit overwhelmed by everyone the first time meeting him.
I might also add that maybe next time a smaller gathering would be a good idea so
it will be easier to get to know him a bit better.
Just stay home. I seriously doubt anybody really wants to hear what you think.
I thought after the last family get-together debacle (not even counting the many before so religiously documented) when he and his wife decided not to take the trip, these family get-togethers were finally over and done with for them. I guess the need for more thread fodder prevailed and thus the sadomasochistic cycle continues.
The new BIL may not want to get to know his wife's family, for whatever reason. Perhaps he sees himself on a different plane, and was making small commentary so as to go along with his new wife's wish to introduce him to her extended family. Some people simply do not want to be involved with the extended family; rather, they prefer to control the company that they seek, friends, associates, and/or immediate family, especially if said person has success in their career. Just because one marries one's sibling or in-law does not mean that they have to be instant friends, and an open book, with the extended family.
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All the world's a stage, and all the men and women merely players: they have their exits and their entrances; and one man in his time plays many parts, his acts being seven ages.
~William Shakespeare (As You Like It Act II, Scene VII)
I think he felt like he was being judged by everyone...which he was. It sounds like it was kind of a larger family gathering, and he was very uncomfortable. I think he just decided to shut down. I know I would be very uncomfortable in that situation. You should have started out with a small gathering...just 3 or 4 people and slowly introduced him to your other siblings and relatives.
It was mentioned that he was in sales, so he is not shy. Sometimes people can act outgoing at work and seem rather introverted in their personal lives. He might prefer small gatherings. Maybe invite your sister and new BIL to dinner or meet up for a drink and try to get to know him that way. I think he will open up then.
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