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It doesn't bother me at all, in fact I find it a very caring comment to make. In this world the way it has become, people rarely speak to one another any more. So its nice to hear a warm thoughtful comment. So its fine with me.
People try to find offense in everything nowadays my goodness
You've got that right, Coffee.
Several months ago, an amazingly oddball poster sent a DM to instruct me on how to properly address him when replying to his posts. Seems he was upset at how I'd chosen to shorten his moniker. News flash: they're not our real names, in most cases... I might refer to you as CND or Coffee or Coff... what difference does it make? People do the same with me... PatanjaliTwist is not my real name (surprise C-D!), call me what you will... Pat, Twist, P... who cares? Well, strange ranger does. His DM included a list of how I was 'allowed' to shorten it... but, obviously the name I'd chosen was the only one I couldn't use... haha.
I wrote back with humor saying I'd just not address him with anything so he'd have less stress in his life & additionally, I saw it was his b'day & wished him a Happy B'day. He wrote back, 'You're late. You mean Happy belated Birthday'... Guess I can't shorten that word either & since I didn't use the word belated, well, it's not a proper b'day wish, so... Hey weirdo... how 'bout a 'thank you kindly' for wishing you a great day.
Dude then wrote a rageful C-D blog post about how no one should shorten his fake, online, C-D moniker... it went on for paragraphs, complete with name calling. < big sigh >
He's now upset, according to his posts, about people not watching movies properly. The horror... the sheer, absolute horror...
I HATE when random people call me "hon". Like a cashier, for example. I find it so demeaning. I understand that I'm in my late twenties and I probably look a couple years younger than that even, but being called "hon" makes me feel like I'm twelve.
Anybody with me?
Quote:
Originally Posted by 601halfdozen0theother
Oh, I so completely agree with you!!!!!! This is something that seriously makes me angry...
We're not talking here about the stereotype of a sweet old waitress called Flo calling everyone "hon" or "dear"....
Sure we are. In fact, take a look at the OP again (which I've C&P'd for you); that's pretty much exactly what we're talking about!
It would be interesting and useful if posters on this thread would identify themselves with gender, age range, and in which part of the country they live.
My guess is that Southerners think it is o.k. because it's a cultural tradition, and clueless men think it's o.k. because they have never been able to understand the real consequences of sexism, and girls of whatever age who haven't grown up quite yet think it's o.k because they are immature.
But the rest of us don't think it's o.k.
LOL. So if men don't agree with you it's because they're clueless, and if girls/women of any age don't agree with you it's because they're immature.
Well, that's one way not to have to engage in an intelligent discussion on the merits of a subject; just belittle and demean everyone who disagrees with your opinion.
And what was that subject again?
Oh yeah: how the use of the term hon is demeaning and belittles a person.
When you learn a language that has a gender-neutral second person pronoun, you can use it. Until then, you (and I) are stuck with English, which lacks one, so people use:
you
youse
you-all
you-uns
you guys
Take your pick. "You guy and girl" is not widely accepted ;-)
Around here it's Y'ALL. I was born and raised in Dallas, so I say "y'all" without a hint of irony. Or shame.
One time at work, a California transplant mocked me later in private for saying "y'all" in a meeting. I put on my best hick accent and a huge smile and said "WELL HELL DARLIN', WHERE DO YOU THINK YOU ARE? YOU CAN HAUL Y'ASS BACK TO CALIFORNIA IF YOU DON'T LIKE IT! I'LL HELP YA PACK!"
Really people, if this is all it takes to offend you, you will waste an awful lot of time and mental energy being offended. I call people I barely know Sweetie, Hon, etc. Heck my goddaughter is Punkin' and will always be Punkin'. I don't care that she's 19, someday she'll be a 35 year old Punkin'! It's meant to be an endearment and that is how I will always take it, unless it's said in a manner dripping with sarcasm. My neighbor lady practically cursed out a waitress who had the nerve to call Mr. Neighbor Darlin'. She was all up in her grille because she thought this lady was flirting with her husband. Seriously???
Life is short, let it be sweet. Smile and call them Darlin' right back, maybe it will make you feel all warm and fuzzy inside.
LOL. So if men don't agree with you it's because they're clueless, and if girls/women of any age don't agree with you it's because they're immature.
Well, that's one way not to have to engage in an intelligent discussion on the merits of a subject; just belittle and demean everyone who disagrees with your opinion.
And what was that subject again?
Oh yeah: how the use of the term hon is demeaning and belittles a person.
Since this thread started I really have paid more attention to how my customers and I relate. I seem to get called 'endearing' words more than I ever noticed. And not ONE of them has ever been aimed at me in a demeaning or obnoxious way. I decided that they do it because they LIKE me and for no other reason. I do it because I like them! Not very often, to be sure, and I know who I can and can't be 'personal' with. But even people I've never seen in my life will call me "hon" or "sweetie". It never HAS bothered me and it never will. I find it somewhat amusing though, the things people let bother them, and wonder "Why?". Makes me glad that I'm as easy going as I am.
I work at a LTC/Rehab facility, and the rules are strict: no terms of endearment with any of the patients, or you can be suspended, which should apply to all work places.'
All in all, I find these terms to be manipulative! Even within a marriage/relationship!
I work at a LTC/Rehab facility, and the rules are strict: no terms of endearment with any of the patients, or you can be suspended, which should apply to all work places.'
All in all, I find these terms to be manipulative! Even within a marriage/relationship!
I work in the same setting, and I find that sad. Our LTC residents feel loved and feel like family partly because we use pet names (for the ones who like it). Many of them don't have family, and when we hug them or squeeze their hand and call them a pet name, they don't feel as alone.
Many of them can't remember names or are just flirts, and they call us "honey" and other pet names, too. To me it makes what can be a cold environment warm and loving. There's one room where a LTC resident died several months ago, and all of us when we walk by the room think of her calling out "Honey!!" as you couldn't walk by the room when she was in it without being summoned by her like that.
I am from the NYC/NJ area. Here people usually say "ya guys".
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< big sigh > 
The horror... the sheer, absolute horror... 
Our LTC residents feel loved and feel like family partly because we use pet names (for the ones who like it). Many of them don't have family, and when we hug them or squeeze their hand and call them a pet name, they don't feel as alone.
