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My only brother (7 years younger than me) who lives in another state left me a voicemail the other day to tell me that he just got married over the weekend. He had a rocky patch with this woman a while back, and they had split up for a while but then got back together and were trying to work out their differences.
I remember a while ago there was some talk about marriage in the future, but my brother assured me that when that time came, I'd be the first to know. Now here I am hearing about it after the fact.
I guess part of me is feeling hurt since I'm finding out about this after it happened (and we're the only family each other has), but I'm also thinking back to a time when my sister was still alive and she was wondering why my brother was dating someone that didn't seem to have much in common with him. My sister didn't really see this woman as "his type". I also wonder if he's given any thought to the fact that he's going to have to support this woman's daughter and put her through college when he's not really settled into a career and he should be thinking about saving as much as he can for the future.
I know I should call him back to congratulate him, but given the circumstances I'm having a hard time getting up the enthusiasm to do this.
I also wonder if he's given any thought to the fact that he's going to have to support this woman's daughter and put her through college when he's not really settled into a career and he should be thinking about saving as much as he can for the future.
My guess is that he knows you do not like this relationship, and that calling you in advance would do neither of you any good.
I'm also thinking back to a time when my sister was still alive and she was wondering why my brother was dating someone that didn't seem to have much in common with him. My sister didn't really see this woman as "his type".
Did you share the same feelings as your sister? Was there dislike for this woman and was it made evident?
Maybe your brother felt you may not "approve" or be happy for him? At the end of the day, it's his choice who he marries and as long as he's happy. Call him, congratulate him.
My only brother (7 years younger than me) who lives in another state left me a voicemail the other day to tell me that he just got married over the weekend. He had a rocky patch with this woman a while back, and they had split up for a while but then got back together and were trying to work out their differences.
I remember a while ago there was some talk about marriage in the future, but my brother assured me that when that time came, I'd be the first to know. Now here I am hearing about it after the fact.
I guess part of me is feeling hurt since I'm finding out about this after it happened (and we're the only family each other has), but I'm also thinking back to a time when my sister was still alive and she was wondering why my brother was dating someone that didn't seem to have much in common with him. My sister didn't really see this woman as "his type". I also wonder if he's given any thought to the fact that he's going to have to support this woman's daughter and put her through college when he's not really settled into a career and he should be thinking about saving as much as he can for the future.
I know I should call him back to congratulate him, but given the circumstances I'm having a hard time getting up the enthusiasm to do this.
That's exactly why he didn't call you before. He didn't want to hear that from you even though you have some valid points.
My only brother (7 years younger than me) who lives in another state left me a voicemail the other day to tell me that he just got married over the weekend. He had a rocky patch with this woman a while back, and they had split up for a while but then got back together and were trying to work out their differences.
I remember a while ago there was some talk about marriage in the future, but my brother assured me that when that time came, I'd be the first to know. Now here I am hearing about it after the fact.
I guess part of me is feeling hurt since I'm finding out about this after it happened (and we're the only family each other has), but I'm also thinking back to a time when my sister was still alive and she was wondering why my brother was dating someone that didn't seem to have much in common with him. My sister didn't really see this woman as "his type". I also wonder if he's given any thought to the fact that he's going to have to support this woman's daughter and put her through college when he's not really settled into a career and he should be thinking about saving as much as he can for the future.
I know I should call him back to congratulate him, but given the circumstances I'm having a hard time getting up the enthusiasm to do this.
Congratulations with your brother wish him good luck and get over with it. To be honest if I love some one I don't want any body judge about him as "if he is my type" or " seems we got nothing in common" if I love him if he loves me that is all about it. I don't want a man who is my brother's type or my parents type. so take it easy! Send him a recorded voice message "wish you all the best bro"
His choice of a wife isn't subject to your approval. if you care about him, call, or at least send a card. How his life pans out going forward is between him and his spouse.
Did you share the same feelings as your sister? Was there dislike for this woman and was it made evident?
Maybe your brother felt you may not "approve" or be happy for him? At the end of the day, it's his choice who he marries and as long as he's happy. Call him, congratulate him.
I've never met my brother's gf, now wife, face to face, so all of my knowledge of her is second hand from what my sister had told me about her. I've only had limited contact with her on Facebook. I don't know whether my sister had voiced her opinions about the woman to my brother directly, or only mentioned them to me.
I've never met my brother's gf, now wife, face to face, so all of my knowledge of her is second hand from what my sister had told me about her. I've only had limited contact with her on Facebook. I don't know whether my sister had voiced her opinions about the woman to my brother directly, or only mentioned them to me.
Oh, ok, thanks. Seems odd then that he didn't call you. Was it one of those, "Hey, let's stop talking about it and just do it" kind of things? I know people who did that--they were on and off or engaged for 6 years or the topic would go back and forth "should we" or "what if we got married"?
I know you're hurt but again, it's about your brother and his happiness. Give him a call
You might consider, that your sister would not have liked any woman your brother chose to be with. She may have set such a high standard for him, it would have been impossible for any woman to meet her criteria as a good wife for your brother.
Even though you may not feel like it now, Call your brother and congratulate him with enthusiasm, and tell him how happy you are for him. He has married, and deserves your blessing. You may never like his wife or feel she is suitable and deserves your brother, BUT, on the other hand you may learn over time she was the absolutly the best choice he could have ever made for a wife.
If you don't make the proper move and congratulate him wit h enthusiasm, you and your only living relative may never have a decent relationship in the future. Don't blow it. Give their marriage a chance, and let him live his life with the woman he has chosen to share it with, and give them your blessing.
Otherwise you may lose your brother, and have no living relatives you can be close to, and in the future not be able to be around those nieces and nephews that may occur. Don't give up the chance for those future children, to have a member of their dad's family they can look up to, love, and admire. Do it for those future children, if not for your brother.
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so take it easy! Send him a recorded voice message "wish you all the best bro"
