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And as far as "why would you be friends with this guy if you know he's a sex offender", I didn't know the first few years as his friend. I found out through another friend of mine his crime 3 days ago.
Before jumping on me and calling me disgusting and an "enabler" (which I find completely uncalled for), how about giving me sound advice, like only some of you did?
We all gave you sound advice. We are simply repelled by his behavior and are deeply confused by the fact that an adult so lacks common sense that you have to ask a bunch of strangers on a message board for advice on this matter. There are simply no gray areas to be explored on this subject.
There? See? Lacks so much common sense. Another insult in the same breath.
I'm cutting him off and out of my life. Done. You guys can continue calling me all kinds of names. Start calling me a retard and a ***** while you're at it. Tell me I deserve to die. I asked for advice on a forum from strangers after all!!
I have read this post a couple times now, and I have to say, get this guy out of your life. It's plain as daylight how he sees your 14 year old sister, and how he thinks about her. A guy who acts like that has only one thing on his mind and it's not world peace. For him to be sexually focused on a 14 year old girl like that is a gigantic red flag. Protect your little sister! That he even went after HIS OWN SISTER should tell you all you need to know.
There? See? Lacks so much common sense. Another insult in the same breath.
I'm cutting him off and out of my life. Done. You guys can continue calling me all kinds of names. Start calling me a retard and a ***** while you're at it. Tell me I deserve to die. I asked for advice on a forum from strangers after all!!
OP:
Regarding the bolded part in pink...
Then according to you, what would the common sense approach be considering his behavior and your behavior?
There really is no advice to give in this situation. If you want to let him know why you can tell him he's crossed the line, and you don't want him to contact you again. But, do it now, so there is no expectation of meeting when/if you move to his area.
My guy friend and I are in our mid-20's. He and I live in different states. I'm a woman, btw.
Anyway, his humor can be really crude and usually involves sex, penis, and vagina in some form. For the first few years of our friendship, I kind of put up with his dumb sex jokes. Not everyone has the same kind of humor, I understand that. I used to just roll my eyes, sigh, and move on with the conversation.
But lately, starting last month, he's been joking about my younger sister. Specifically, he jokes about her having sex for the first time, her seeing penis, her giving bjs, her going into puberty, etc. I get really mad at him, he laughs it off and doesn't joke about her for a while, and then he starts again to get a rise out of me.
She's 14. He's 26. On top of all this, although I don't know the details, he has a felony on his record for sexually touching his own sister. I don't know how old he was though. It's not recent.
I'm planning to move to the area he lives in when I graduate college in the spring (I grew up in the area for a few years, so it's like a second hometown to me), but I'm not so sure if I want to maintain contact with him anymore, either now or by the time I move there. Every now and then, he mentions that he can't wait to meet my sister whenever she and my family come to visit me.
So as you can see, I'm starting to feel extremely uncomfortable chatting with him online. Alarm bells are ringing in my head, but I'm not sure how much of that is justified. I just feel like he's being a pedo, but I don't know if it's me overreacting/being protective of my sister. I also know women IN GENERAL don't make sex jokes while men IN GENERAL do. Am I taking his jokes too seriously?
I just don't know what to say to him if he is serious about those jokes. Do I tell him to cut it out? Do I stop talking to him altogether? He's a good friend, but I find his recent jokes about my sister shocking and disturbing while he just laughs whenever I get mad at him.
WTF! Why are you even friends with this POS and giving him access to your kid sister????
I would report his shenanigans to his parole officer immediately. He is grooming you!!!
And as far as "why would you be friends with this guy if you know he's a sex offender", I didn't know the first few years as his friend. I found out through another friend of mine his crime 3 days ago.
Before jumping on me and calling me disgusting and an "enabler" (which I find completely uncalled for), how about giving me sound advice, like only some of you did?
Well, it's just strange. I don't blame the "enabler" comment, this is something that you really shouldn't even have to ask or doubt. You should be able to trust your instincts and as always, protect people from predators (or at least stay from them).
You yourself said that generally guys make sex jokes (while women don't-- I disagree, but that's another subject). Yes, guys do make crude sex jokes and all-- but there is even a limit to that as well. Most (or just about all) normal guys would not even be comfortable to be in the situation you're in.
Did you ever think about meeting him face to face as well as getting to know him face to face so you can really get to know what he is like?
Seriously?
So, you would meet up with a felony sex offender "so you can really get to know what he is like?"
Really?
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