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Three kids and spouses, and 7 grandkids. I am keeping it very modest this year, since we are retired now and will be entertaining 13 people over Christmas, which will be expensive. I am averaging about $40. a person, but I spread it out by starting my shopping early. I got hubby a new laptop, but that doesn't count.
I do very little Christmas shopping. I'm giving a small gift bag to my mom, but nothing major. Dad will probably just get some candy. My grandmother only wants money, so she may get $20 depending on whether I'm feeling generous or not. I will bring a few pies to the Christmas dinner and *maybe* I'll bake some cookies too, but I don't buy gifts for extended family.
Meanwhile, I've bought several Christmas gifts for myself and might buy a few more things for me.
When we fell into the recession 7 years ago and lived way out in the country we quit giving gifts and going to family ''gift exchanges'' 3 hours away because we could not afford any gifts or gas.
We also recalled the years of sitting there watching their kids open thousands of dollars of stuff, toss it aside, and say not a word of thanks.
Really, it was a relief to be totally out of all that and now we still don't give gifts even in our own home. Christmas for us is about gratitude to God, new beginnings, our family traditions and memories, music, lights, food, and old movies that stir the heart.
I would not go back to the old consumerism. Don't miss it at all. Christmas is so much more special now without all that pressure.
When we fell into the recession 7 years ago and lived way out in the country we quit giving gifts and going to family ''gift exchanges'' 3 hours away because we could not afford any gifts or gas.
We also recalled the years of sitting there watching their kids open thousands of dollars of stuff, toss it aside, and say not a word of thanks.
Really, it was a relief to be totally out of all that and now we still don't give gifts even in our own home. Christmas for us is about gratitude to God, new beginnings, our family traditions and memories, music, lights, food, and old movies that stir the heart.
I would not go back to the old consumerism. Don't miss it at all. Christmas is so much more special now without all that pressure.
Other than my immediate family, which is just my parents since I'm an only child AND my BF & his mom, I have n o one else to buy for. My parents's sides of the families aren't strained, but we never buy for each other anyway.
OP, you buy for whoever you want & spend as much as you want, of course, it's your perogative.
If I had numerous people to buy for, like 10+, I'd try to keep it at $5/person...low as possible.
Good morning...I was going to start a new thread on this, but I found this one so I thought I would 'wake' it up. I am really wrestling with my own thoughts here, so I thought I would ask for advice.
I purchase gifts each year for both my parents, my brother & sister (we are 30, 32 & 37), my brother in law & now my nephew who is just turning 2. I also buy for my father in laws & brother in laws' girlfriends, and I leave the father in law & brother in law to my husband. Last year I spent $90-$100 per person on my family's side, and around $40-50 on the in-laws girlfriends, since that appears to be what they spend on me (or a little less, but I feel the need to spend a little more on them since it's from both my husband & me).
3 days after Christmas last year, my mother asked me if my husband & I were doing ok financially...wow, what a time to ask a question like that! For the last year I've been wondering if she felt that I did not spend enough on gifts. I should have asked her that right then & there but I felt really akward. I just finished the majority of my shopping & spent the same amounts again (this is what we are comfortable with financially) and now I'm wrestling with the idea of spending even more, considering what she said. I am really tempted to ask my brother & sister what they spend, but...I don't want them to feel akward. My sister told us last year that she actually upped what she spends, but only because she now has her son & feels bad that we now have to spend $$ on him, so she puts a little more into our gifts (of course I told her not to feel the need, especially since we will **hopefully** have kids of our own some day).
Quite honestly I don't even want gifts...with the acception of kids I feel it's quite pointless. We are all adults exchanging things we don't need, and there are several times when I suspect things are just thrown in a closet somewhere or returned, so what's the point?
It is really not much of a gift when it has become an obligation and a "keeping up with the Jones" or guilt situation. Where is the love and care? When you are comparing $$ amounts where is the thankfulness?
You can always start a whole new tradition of no presents for adults and just enjoy the child's Christmas (with hopefully only a few well chosen items.) Might take awhile to get all onboard, but then if they give, it is a choice and not an obligation. You would have to stand up for your decision and not let anyone guilt you into presents.
Good morning...I was going to start a new thread on this, but I found this one so I thought I would 'wake' it up. I am really wrestling with my own thoughts here, so I thought I would ask for advice.
I purchase gifts each year for both my parents, my brother & sister (we are 30, 32 & 37), my brother in law & now my nephew who is just turning 2. I also buy for my father in laws & brother in laws' girlfriends, and I leave the father in law & brother in law to my husband. Last year I spent $90-$100 per person on my family's side, and around $40-50 on the in-laws girlfriends, since that appears to be what they spend on me (or a little less, but I feel the need to spend a little more on them since it's from both my husband & me).
3 days after Christmas last year, my mother asked me if my husband & I were doing ok financially...wow, what a time to ask a question like that! For the last year I've been wondering if she felt that I did not spend enough on gifts. I should have asked her that right then & there but I felt really akward. I just finished the majority of my shopping & spent the same amounts again (this is what we are comfortable with financially) and now I'm wrestling with the idea of spending even more, considering what she said. I am really tempted to ask my brother & sister what they spend, but...I don't want them to feel akward. My sister told us last year that she actually upped what she spends, but only because she now has her son & feels bad that we now have to spend $$ on him, so she puts a little more into our gifts (of course I told her not to feel the need, especially since we will **hopefully** have kids of our own some day).
Quite honestly I don't even want gifts...with the acception of kids I feel it's quite pointless. We are all adults exchanging things we don't need, and there are several times when I suspect things are just thrown in a closet somewhere or returned, so what's the point?
Sounds like you need a reality check. Gifts are supposed to be given out of the kindness of your heart. They're not given so you can be equal to Aunt Sally or look better than Sister Mary. Spending $100 on one person at Christmas is quite a lot. Why not give a good chunk of that to a local charity? You can make the donation in someone's name. Does anyone REALLY need more crap?
We don't do a big Christmas. For us it's all about the kids, we all buy presents for kids in the family, but do not buy for adults. Or if we do, we draw out of a name and all buy presents for 1 adult in the family. Keeping in mind most of us are spread out and don't live in the same city. We usually all see each other every second year for the holidays and pick a meeting location. I don't get involved in gift exchanges at work and things like that, to me it's just one more chore and I already have enough to do. My husband and I don't exchange presents.
Last edited by canadiangirl_2015; 11-18-2015 at 01:04 PM..
We buy stocking stuffers - cute post it notes, pot holders, etc. Those are optional, though, and given anonymously. We get a consumable type present for the parents - they are elderly and really dont need more stuff that will just clutter up their apartment
Dh and I dont exchange presents. If there is something we want or need, we just buy it!! I dont miss shopping in crowded stores...and wrapping a lot of presents was a massive waste of paper and ribbon...gift cards - I agree. All you are doing is passing around $50 or whatever.
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