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Old 06-04-2015, 06:09 PM
 
Location: Arizona
1,599 posts, read 1,809,967 times
Reputation: 4917

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I really wish my my neighbor would mind his own business. He is a nice old man, easily in his 80s, but very spry. I know he is well intended and bored, but I am the kind of person that doesn't like help. I like to do things in my own way and in my own time. I understand that he doesn't know this, but it is hard to explain anything to him, because he can barely hear.

He is always picking at our yard. I find it incredibly irritating, but it's not hurting anything so I let it slide. Most of the time he just rakes up leaves or picks up oranges, so no big deal. On occasion he will mow and if he is watering his yard he'll sprinkle some on ours too. I also find this irritating as we are capable of maintaining our own yard, but have to do it on weekends, so sometimes it gets a bit tall before we can get to it (never out of control!). But I try to be a big girl and let it go, because in reality, it's not hurting anything to let him do it.

Well a couple months ago we had a huge portion of our front yard dug up to replace our plumbing. It pretty much ruined all the grass and the majority of what grew back was weeds. My HUSBAND AND I decided to let it all die and later this summer we will kill what's left and reseed it. Already discussed this with a landscaper.

Well today I look outside and I see him watering, with our hose. I ignored him because he usually just does it for like 5 minutes then stops. We ate lunch, I picked up the house then peeked out the window because I was expecting someone and more than a half an hour later HE WAS STILL WATERING!!! I ran out and asked him what he was doing he said he threw down some seed and was watering it so it would start growing ! This made me completely furious (on the inside, I was calm with him). I tried to explain that what he was doing was the EXACT OPPOSITE of what we are trying to do and he was just like "oh okay" and stood there. I turned the water off and went back in.

Ugh! Our yard is a huge muddy mess. He wasted sooo much water which makes me angry in itself, because that costs us money and I try to be conscious on water usage! He PUT SEED DOWN! I know he thinks he's helping, but this is going too far!
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Old 06-04-2015, 06:18 PM
 
Location: southwestern PA
22,595 posts, read 47,698,122 times
Reputation: 48281
Good thing you are moving soon!

Your posts seem to have a common theme...
Inlaws: "they became so overbearing and judgemental and annoying that I can hardly stand them anymore. "
Neighborhood: "We HATE where we live. "
Friends: "But I can't help but wonder what it is I keep doing that I can't maintain friendships. It's really depressing. "
Businesses: "I'm so annoyed right now! I've had two horrible experiences with two local businesses over the past month or so and it just makes me wonder WHY are people so awful? "


You seem really unhappy about everything. Have you considered therapy?
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Old 06-04-2015, 06:49 PM
 
15,446 posts, read 21,362,657 times
Reputation: 28701
Without reading any of your other posts, my guess at the problem is that the poor old fellow is from a different era in America. What he perceives as being helpful, you perceive as meddling.

Been there myself.
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Old 06-04-2015, 07:10 PM
 
649 posts, read 570,888 times
Reputation: 1847
He sounds like a nice person just trying to be a good neighbor to me. It really seems like you have control issues. My neighbors and I help each other out like that all of the time.

The only thing that might bother me a little bit is wasting my water for 30 minutes but even that wouldn't bother me enough to worry about it for more than a minute.

I think you're going to get your wish fulfilled. I doubt he'll ever try to help you again. If I were him I would avoid you like the plague.
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Old 06-04-2015, 07:14 PM
 
18,401 posts, read 19,031,744 times
Reputation: 15708
let the old man alone, you could do a whole lot worse than this kind of neighbor. you are making a mountain out of a molehill as the saying goes.
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Old 06-04-2015, 07:17 PM
 
Location: Redwood City, CA
15,253 posts, read 12,974,454 times
Reputation: 54051
Quote:
Originally Posted by Pitt Chick View Post
Good thing you are moving soon!

Your posts seem to have a common theme...
Inlaws: "they became so overbearing and judgemental and annoying that I can hardly stand them anymore. "
Neighborhood: "We HATE where we live. "
Friends: "But I can't help but wonder what it is I keep doing that I can't maintain friendships. It's really depressing. "
Businesses: "I'm so annoyed right now! I've had two horrible experiences with two local businesses over the past month or so and it just makes me wonder WHY are people so awful? "
You forgot to mention she thinks women in the U.S. are oppressed because they can't have everything they want when they want it. Perhaps that move will be to Europe...
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Old 06-04-2015, 07:22 PM
 
Location: here
24,873 posts, read 36,185,020 times
Reputation: 32726
You gave him an inch. He took a mile. I think you need to put your foot down. You should have done in when he dug up your yard. Why hasn't your husband put a stop to this? The yard is DH's domain. He'd never put up with that.
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Old 06-04-2015, 07:27 PM
 
Location: here
24,873 posts, read 36,185,020 times
Reputation: 32726
Quote:
Originally Posted by melovescookies View Post
He sounds like a nice person just trying to be a good neighbor to me. It really seems like you have control issues. My neighbors and I help each other out like that all of the time.

The only thing that might bother me a little bit is wasting my water for 30 minutes but even that wouldn't bother me enough to worry about it for more than a minute.

I think you're going to get your wish fulfilled. I doubt he'll ever try to help you again. If I were him I would avoid you like the plague.
He destroyed her lawn!
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Old 06-04-2015, 07:27 PM
 
22,474 posts, read 12,011,140 times
Reputation: 20398
A bit off topic---but you live in AZ and I was wondering why you have grass growing in your yard? Why not a desert scape? It saves a lot of water!

That said, if he was using your hose and your water, then you should shut off the water using the inside valve so that he couldn't get any when he turned on the outside faucet.

My take on neighbors helping out --- I am truly appreciative. The winter before last, my husband was recuperating from back surgery. To make matters worse, we had a horrible winter with above normal snow falls. Our next door neighbor has a snowblower. He knew about my husband's surgery and before I could get out to shovel, he was out there using his snowblower to do our driveway! I wasn't annoyed but I did feel bad because while my husband couldn't do any shoveling, I had no problem doing so.

So, time to take another tactic with your neighbor. Instead of getting annoyed with him, how about personally thanking him for the help and giving him a gift? It doesn't have to be a fancy or expensive gift---maybe some home baked goods or some bought from a bakery. You can also let him know that while you appreciate his wanting to help, explain to him that you and your husband have your reasons for not getting to yard work right away but you will eventually get it done.

That winter when our neighbor was a tremendous help to us, we bought some nice baked goods for him and his family. Plus at the end of winter, we bought him a gasoline gift card since his snowblower uses gas.
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Old 06-04-2015, 07:33 PM
 
22,474 posts, read 12,011,140 times
Reputation: 20398
Quote:
Originally Posted by Kibbiekat View Post
He destroyed her lawn!
That's why I said that when you don't need to use your outside water faucets, be sure that you use the inside valve to shut them off. We learned that the hard way when we first became home owners. The people in the town house next to ours had workmen on their property. I heard water running---guess where it came from? Yup. We didn't shut off the inside valve. Lesson learned.
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