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I wouldn't allow it happen. I would tell them I can't and I have plans. When I want to see someone, I say, "I plan on coming to [insert their city] from [date] to [date]. I would love for us to hang out and catch up."
I cousin that I was close to (we were no longer close anymore) did this to us family. One year, two days before Thanksgiving she called and said, "I'm coming for Thanksgiving." During this time, my depression was getting to me (seasonal affective depression) and I didn't want to be bothered by anyone. I literally stayed in bed 90% of the time. She was very bored.
I recently lost my Mom. I would give anything for just one more visit.
Work, free time and stuff like that that took priority over friends and family visits looks very different to me in retrospect.
my mother hated for people to just drop by without calling she would always say our house is not presentable , its not clean . Our house growing up was never clean . I am just the opposite I clean my house every other weekend from top to bottom and it drives my husband crazy he says he gets a headache from the smell of bleach . I cant help it im Italian and I love clean . Now my sister took after my mother her house is never clean and it does not seem to bother her husband at all and then I found out why , his sister told me they grew up in a dirty house and their mother was lazy , she barely cooked and when she did dishes stayed in the sink for days no wonder they had roaches ugh !!! They don't seem to mind people dropping by and seeing that either . So No I don't mind people dropping by without calling I enjoy company .
Location: Huntersville/Charlotte, NC and Washington, DC
26,700 posts, read 41,753,896 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by germaine2626
That happened to someone that I knew, too. Mom & Dad used to occasionally "pop over" (about a five hour drive) for weekend visits to my friend. My friend was in her 20s and her parents never called first, just came. It was pretty annoying to my friend but her parents kept doing it.
One Friday night, the parents arrived late and no one was home. They waited and waited but their daughter did not show up. Finally they had to get a hotel room. Saturday morning they went back to her place & waited outside and still no daughter. This was before cell phones so they couldn't call her (except on her land line). Finally after waiting around most of Saturday they drove back home (another five hours) instead of being forced to get another hotel room.
It turned out that my friend had decided to take an impromptu weekend trip with some friends and was gone all weekend.
BTW, her parents never just "popped over" again without calling first to make sure that she was home and it was OK to visit.
Let me tell you the best part of that story. I asked her straight up if she was coming for Christmas that next week. She was playing like I can't get time off etc. So I drop the subject. The next time we pick the subject up was when she called that Friday and said surprise I'm in Virginia. I was actually on I-70 W in Ohio just about to arrive in Columbus when I got that call. Wasn't even like I could cancel my plans in OH which I wasn't gonna anyway. That kinda ruined the weekend for me since I felt kinda guilty even though I didn't do a damn thing wrong.
Although, the OP did not say specifically, even if they were not staying at his place, it appeared to me that he was expected to "entertain them" all weekend. To me, that sounds like they are expecting to be with him during the entire day, not just meet them for lunch on Saturday afternoon or something like that.
I know people that actually sleep at hotels but go to the families homes from early morning until late at night. Whether or not that is the case with the OP, we do not know.
Eh, if they weren't staying at his place, then he has a buffer zone. After all, the OP did make it a point to say that he had no input nor was asked for it. He shouldn't put the onus on himself to be responsible for their entertainment.
I think this family need to establish some boundaries. In a recent thread the op complained about using all his vacation time to visit this same family back home. Maybe some family members feel like there is an open door policy among family members, to which his frequent and sometimes long visits home might contribute. There isn't really enough info to go on.
My mother, grandmother, and aunt are coming from TN to IN to visit me this weekend. I was in TN two weeks ago, had to work last weekend, and am now having to entertain them.
I really didn't want them to come this weekend as this is the first weekend I've had in a long time where I'm not either traveling, working, or doing something with my girlfriend, but they pretty much decided at the first of the week that they were coming up, and that was that. My input wasn't even asked for.
Do you ever feel like the out of town family just comes when they want with little regard for your input?
Yes my uncle comes from Canada over the ocean and just lands at our house. I wouldn't mind only when we went there he put us in the basement with water beds and we bought all our food.
I made a status on FB about us heading over to NYC this summer and he asked if we were visiting him. Of course my reply was straight out "HA, far chance!!" He probably thought that was rude.. But who cares.
My mom popped up in Virginia while I was spending the weekend in Ohio a few months ago. Hopefully that taught her a lesson about popcorn visits.
Ha! I bet you laughed and laughed at that!!
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