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Hi guys, so I'm in a tough situation. Basically I am getting plastic surgery and I told my mom I was thinking about it. She came in my room and had a talk with me. She wanted to talk me out of it and we got into an argument. She was not supportive at all for me wanting to get plastic surgery.
The problem is that I haven't told her that I already booked the surgery and have all the money. I have earned all the money myself. So I'm all set to go with the surgery. Honestly I feel like going and not even telling her that I'm actually getting the surgery. I'm so pissed at her reaction. She also said she would tell my dad because he has a right to know. I'm so mad that she would tell him. My dad is a blabber-mouth and I honestly can't trust him keeping his mouth shut. And plus he would obviously be against it, he doesn't understand what it's like being a woman.
I'm 19 and a legal adult. She was saying things like I have very realistic expectations about this procedure, I don't expect it to change my life or anything, it would just make me look a little better and give me an extra boost of confidence.
Parents please help me! I don't know what to do. I am getting this surgery no matter what, but I want my mom to help me recover because she's a doctor and knows what to do.
Dads please give your advice too! I know my dad will be totally against it, but is there anything I can do to make them more accepting of my procedure?
Should I just tell my mom? Should I tell my dad too? I really don't want to tell him. I also really don't want to tell my mom that I'm actually getting this procedure now because of her reaction. I REALLY don't want to hear their opinions because they will try to talk me out of it even more. I don't need that, I'm already stressing out from the surgery. How can I make my mom (and perhaps dad too) supportive of my surgery?
The problem is that I live with my parents so I would have to make up some excuse about a vacation with friends or something. Would they even buy that? Also I mean my appearance would change too and they would most likely notice it.
So parents how would you react if your 19 year old daughter told you that she was getting plastic surgery? Do you have a right to know if she is using all of her own money that she earned herself?
I really need some advice. I am doing this surgery for myself, and I want support from my mom. It makes me feel like a bad person from what she is said. I don't want to feel that way.
I think it depends on what the surgery is and what the reason behind it. Is it something superficial or something out of medical necessity such as a procedure to relieve pain.
I think it depends on what the surgery is and what the reason behind it. Is it something superficial or something out of medical necessity such as a procedure to relieve pain.
Why so vague? There's stuff like nose jobs, pinning back ears that stick out, breast augmentation/reduction....all cosmetic; then there's extreme body modification that has other implications you might not appreciate at your age.
Well all surgery comes with risks. Maybe she's just worried. What 1 sees as unsupportive can sometimes just be worry and making sure you fully understand your position. Like a woman wanting to be a cop, her sister tried talking her out of it, there was a huge fight, then her sister makes the point she worried she'll be killed. She was trying to trample a dream, she was just being honest about risks and possible drawbacks, and since your mother is a doctor, she probably knows a good bit more about things than you do, so I wouldn't disregard her opinion completely.
But in the end, the choice is yours. If you have the money and can afford the surgery, go for it. If you feel it would boost your confidence some, great. Just be sure you get a great doctor who won't make you look stupid and his work lasts. My mother got surgery for vanity, and sadly, she got a quack she had to keep going back to because he wasn't working. Until she got a better doctor.
So good luck. I wouldn't mind some surgery as well. When I have the money for it, I may get a good bit done as well.
You should wait until you are no longer living with your parents. I'm all for having work done. I don't think there is anything wrong with it. Your parents are going to notice. I think by going behind their back and trying to hide it is awful. If my daughter was to do that I would be hurt and disappointed even if I did not agree I would want to be there. What if something happens? You are living at home so that makes for a difficult position to be in. Either be honest and tell her you are doing it because your mind is made up or wait until you are living on your own.
Well you are an adult and you used money you earned, so it's really your business. You might to give them a heads up on where you will be because they will notice eventually. And make sure you are going to a quality place/doctor.
Honestly, I would try to talk you out of it too. You are too young to make a huge change to your body like that. There are things you don't know about yourself yet and this is something you can't undo. Unless your mom is completely evil, I'm sure she will help take care of you anyway, but you can't expect her to suddenly accept or like your decision. You are her baby and perfect in her eyes and it probably hurts her to think you would go to such extremes to change yourself.
I seriously think you need to wait another 5 or 6 years. Finish college, get a professional job and then see how you feel about yourself. You will most likely feel different about this and many other things.
Why so vague? There's stuff like nose jobs, pinning back ears that stick out, breast augmentation/reduction....all cosmetic; then there's extreme body modification that has other implications you might not appreciate at your age.
Well if you must know I'm getting a brazilian butt lift. It's liposuction then fat transferred to your butt/hips to create a shapely, curvy body. I know it seems silly, but I really want a sexy, curvy body, and with my body type, it won't happen. I'm more apple-shaped then anything else, if I lose weight I lose my butt, if I gain weight, I gain a belly. No amount of dieting/exercising will get me the body I want. My mom doesn't understand this. I'm not expecting crazy results, just to create a more shapely body and to look better in clothes.
Honestly, I would try to talk you out of it too. You are too young to make a huge change to your body like that. There are things you don't know about yourself yet and this is something you can't undo. Unless your mom is completely evil, I'm sure she will help take care of you anyway, but you can't expect her to suddenly accept or like your decision. You are her baby and perfect in her eyes and it probably hurts her to think you would go to such extremes to change yourself.
I seriously think you need to wait another 5 or 6 years. Finish college, get a professional job and then see how you feel about yourself. You will most likely feel different about this and many other things.
That makes sense. The thing is I don't want to wait 5-6 years though. I know I'm young, but I want to enjoy my new body for as long as possible. I want to look good now, and I would be wasting a lot of my young years not having the body I want.
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