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And in essence there are no extra expenses if I tag along since she still has to pay for gas, rental car etc.
This is true . . . and entirely beside the point. People who like each other and care about each other will support each other, including in tangible ways such as sharing the expenses of a joint trip. People who think only of themselves, won't.
Don't be cheap, it leaves a lasting impression. if you can afford Cuba or Hawaii, you can surely afford to split the gas and expenses on a road trip. This is a petty issue that you will look back on and wonder WTF were you thinking.
If you don't want to go, then don't go. Take your holiday vacation apart.
See, this is the problem though. If I did that she would be upset so I HAVE to go, I have no choice in the matter and she is unwilling to compromise on going to her parents. So, this does not sound like a compromise. So, if I have to adhere to her plans, which I am doing to keep her happy the least she can do is pay for the trip which she would have to pay 100% of anyway if she went by herself.
She keeps score like crazy and I usually don't. For example: she invited me to this event which costs $30 to see her play but she wants me to buy my own tickets. Yet I bought her $200 worth of christmas gifts, I am taking her out to a restaurant today that is going to cost me in excess of $150, I always drive around locally and pay for gas - that amounts to hundreds of $$$ that she never pays. She pays for 25%, I pay for 75% most of the time.
It's pretty clear to me that you both keep score. Is this really someone you want to continue in a relationship with?
But that's not what you asked, so I'll modify my original advice and say either split the joint costs 50/50 or don't go. (You should have a long, serious talk with this girl about your future together . . . but do it on the way back home, so you don't ruin the vacation if you decide to break up.)
I don't look for this relationship to last very long if you are already keeping score. Normally people compromise and split costs in some manner. If you don't want to go, then don't go. Take your holiday vacation apart.
^^This.
OP, honestly, it sounds like you're trying to passive aggressively punish your GF for asking you to do something you don't want to do.
well, in that case let's split everything 50/50, why can't we do that? Then I am ok paying 50% of the trip. If it's going to be 50/50 I want everything to be like that, not just selective things. Even if we go for a hike for instance that requires me to pay $50 out of my pocket in gas then she should pay $25, is that fair?
I don't want to be unfair in a relationship, I am only striving for fairness. However, she has indicated that she will pitch in "occasionally" as it's a man's job to pay. I did this the first few months as I paid for all our initial dates but we've been together for 6 months now and I think it needs to be 50/50.
Her ex BF was a high roller and paid for everything, he even gave her an Audi to drive, an extra car that he had laying around so I think she is just used to this...
This dilemma has absolutely nothing to do with money. It's passive aggressive behavior because you feel like she is forcing you to go.
Look, she wants you to meet her family, so it must be serious. I'm sure the trips we took to see my family were not a whole lot of fun for my husband. But he went willingly because he loved me. Not because I would be angry. I didn't exactly love going to meet his family either. But I did it, and visited several times, because it was important to my husband. Not because he would be mad at me.
I think if you feel this way, you aren't really as serious about this relationship and you pretend to be. That and the keeping score (all those examples were about your score keeping, not hers). It's time to evaluate the relationship...
well, in that case let's split everything 50/50, why can't we do that? Then I am ok paying 50% of the trip. If it's going to be 50/50 I want everything to be like that, not just selective things. Even if we go for a hike for instance that requires me to pay $50 out of my pocket in gas then she should pay $25, is that fair?
I don't want to be unfair in a relationship, I am only striving for fairness. However, she has indicated that she will pitch in "occasionally" as it's a man's job to pay. I did this the first few months as I paid for all our initial dates but we've been together for 6 months now and I think it needs to be 50/50.
Her ex BF was a high roller and paid for everything, he even gave her an Audi to drive, an extra car that he had laying around so I think she is just used to this...
Yep, sounds like you need to have a conversation with her.
well, in that case let's split everything 50/50, why can't we do that? Then I am ok paying 50% of the trip. If it's going to be 50/50 I want everything to be like that, not just selective things. Even if we go for a hike for instance that requires me to pay $50 out of my pocket in gas then she should pay $25, is that fair?
I don't want to be unfair in a relationship, I am only striving for fairness. However, she has indicated that she will pitch in "occasionally" as it's a man's job to pay. I did this the first few months as I paid for all our initial dates but we've been together for 6 months now and I think it needs to be 50/50.
Her ex BF was a high roller and paid for everything, he even gave her an Audi to drive, an extra car that he had laying around so I think she is just used to this...
Sounds like a conversation to have with your girlfriend, not us.
I think 50/50 is weird, personally. But when I was dating my husband, he made much more then me. So he always paid for things, including trips to see my family. Before him I wasn't in any real long term relationship....3 months max. But usually the guys paid for outings. I'd pay for groceries, movie rentals. I don't know. I can't really remember too well because we never kept a running tally.
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