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It's hard to keep up with the constant changes to the story. Earlier posts indicate seats in the kitchen for 11.
I'm pretty confused about the vagueness of the table seating "4-5" and the island seating "4-6." Did the table have 4 chairs or 5? Did the island have 4 chairs or 6? It makes a difference to the story. Was there 1 open seat at the island or 2?
The OP knew how many people she invited over, did it not occur to her that everyone might be eating at the same time and therefore she would need x number of chairs?
She said she knew (or at least found out in advance of dinner) that stepdaughter & fiance would be late arrivals. She assumed they would either sit at the kitchen island with the kids, where there was enough space -or- space would open up at the kitchen table by the time of their late arrival. Space didn't open up at the kitchen table and stepdaughter saw an empty spot at the kitchen table, the very spot that the OP had been sitting in, but wasn't sitting at the time of stepdaughter's arrival, and stepdaughter took that seat and then pulled over some random chair to make room for her fiance.
Stepdaughter did not stop and ask where she and fiance should sit; she took what appeared to be an open spot. OP then went and sat at the large kitchen island with her 3 kids, but OP wanted to sit next to her hubby at the kitchen table, as she had been doing. OP didn't make a big deal about that or even say anything, but to her it was a deal.
On top of that, the stepdaughter brought her own fast food to the dinner and proceeded to eat that and not touch any of the food that was provided, some food provided by grandma and other dishes provided by OP.
So 2 faux pas were committed by the stepdaughter, who wasn't in very good standing with the OP anyway due to prior behaviors and whathaveyous.
But would your mother continue to serve things year after year that you do not like and won't eat?
This isn't their first holiday together. The girl knew she wouldn't receive a warm welcome and would most likely not have anything to eat. Instead of being hungry and miserable during the Christmas celebration, she decided to take matters into her own hands and bring her own food.
She didn't "bring her own food..." she brought Taco Bell. Anyone who sees that as appropriate is insane. If she had brought chicken casserole or something that contributed that would be one thing but the obvious "diss" is "I would rather eat fake fast food than anything YOU cook."
If my child did this they wouldn't hear the last of it. I'd be mortified and that bag of crap would be in the garbage.
Quote:
Originally Posted by OutdoorsyGal
You mean you really did seat this College Student next to your children? Isn't that where you should be sitting, especially considering their age?
Ok maybe I got their ages wrong too (like I did w/her) but aren't they pretty little? not to rag on you but just curious
Who cares where she sits? SHE was late. It was her choice to be late (NO ONE pointed out the possibility that she was late BECAUSE of the stop by Taco Bell). You snooze, you lose. You come in late you get whatever spot is left. The chair she took was one that was already being used, unfortunately by the OP (just think of the diff in responses if it had been Grandma's chair!).
Quote:
Originally Posted by elan
Anybody who brings Taco Bell to Christmas dinner is a twit. Who is going to cater the wedding, Jack in the Box?
Agreed. I'd think JITB is probably to tasty for this girl.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Xil
Me too. Not enough to use the dining room. But wait, the dining room won't hold that many.
They were teenagers, not little kids. But wait, there was a teenager, a tween, and a little kid.
There was plenty of seating in the kitchen but then the SD & fiance arrived & suddenly there wasn't enough seats.
You did the majority of the cooking, but the MIL brought the main, fruit salad, and a ton of desserts.
She didn't eat either your food or the MIL's food yet you were still offended.
She took an empty seat and you were offended. You said you were getting a refill. Do you mean refilling a drink or getting seconds? Did you leave your plate at your spot?
You said this was all informal, yet you act as if this was some sort of formal dinner.
This has been a great popcorn thread in any case.
Again, the girl was late. She gets to sit wherever there is room like right next to the kids. And again.. do you really think it matters what refills she was getting or if she took her plate? The seat was taken and the girl swooped in. That is rude but not so rude as bringing Taco Bell to a meal prepared by others! Having a food aversion or allergy and bringing a dish for everyone that you can eat is one thing. Buying 2 $.99 tacos to replace the meal is highly offensive.
She didn't "bring her own food..." she brought Taco Bell. Anyone who sees that as appropriate is insane. If she had brought chicken casserole or something that contributed that would be one thing but the obvious "diss" is "I would rather eat fake fast food than anything YOU cook."
So it's not that she brought her own food that is the issue, but what food she brought.
Quote:
Who cares where she sits? SHE was late. It was her choice to be late (NO ONE pointed out the possibility that she was late BECAUSE of the stop by Taco Bell). You snooze, you lose. You come in late you get whatever spot is left.
And what would be the excuse of she wasn't late? If she had gotten there on time, they would have still been short on chairs.
The family knew in advance she would be late. She probably had something else going on as this dinner was a last minute change.
Here's another fun fact that will blow some minds!
Remember I said my inlaws recently downsized? Well, the now infamous "too small" kitchen table at "my" house is my inlaws old kitchen table. The gave it to us this summer, and we handed down our "old" kitchen table to SD & fiancé for their new apartment. At my inlaws old house ( where every other holiday dinner has occurred until this year), the married couples (my inlaws & DH & me) always sat at the kitchen table, which has 4 seats. The kids, regardless of age, sat at the kitchen bar, and any other family or guests sat in the dining room. If no other guests were there, we all ate in the kitchen. We squeezed the toddler in at kitchen table between DH & me.
Even though I didn't consciously try to duplicate this scenario, maybe subconsciously I did it bc that's what DH's kids were used to.
And there was only 1 empty spot at the table when she & fiancé arrived. My plate was there but my glass was not. I was up getting a refill and also checking on my little boy. She came in, scooted my plate out of the way, plopped her Taco Bell bag down and then pulled up an extra chair for fiancé. That put me in the awkward position to go retrieve my half-eaten plate and relocate to the island. When I reached in to retrieve my plate, that's when I made the comment about "I can't believe you brought Taco Bell when your grandma & I prepared all this homemade food". My inlaws & husband laughed....they tease each other & deal with just about everything with humor. I was miffed, but they probably thought I was just playing bc that's the way they are. I didn't say a word about her taking my seat. I simply got my plate and moved to the island.
There were 2 empty spots at the island when they arrived. My kitchen island is 5 ft by 9 ft. We ALL could've fit around it if need be.
Again, the girl was late. She gets to sit wherever there is room like right next to the kids. And again.. do you really think it matters what refills she was getting or if she took her plate? The seat was taken and the girl swooped in. That is rude but not so rude as bringing Taco Bell to a meal prepared by others! Having a food aversion or allergy and bringing a dish for everyone that you can eat is one thing. Buying 2 $.99 tacos to replace the meal is highly offensive.
I know the girl was late. The OP knew she was late. Everyone else on this thread knows the girl was late. She did sit where there was room--there was an unoccupied chair at the adult table. I ask about the refill/plate because we don't know if the OP took it with her or left it at the spot. If she'd had it with her, then it would've looked like a clear spot at the table. We all gotta pick our battles. This isn't one.
Here's another fun fact that will blow some minds!
Remember I said my inlaws recently downsized? Well, the now infamous "too small" kitchen table at "my" house is my inlaws old kitchen table. The gave it to us this summer, and we handed down our "old" kitchen table to SD & fiancé for their new apartment. At my inlaws old house ( where every other holiday dinner has occurred until this year), the married couples (my inlaws & DH & me) always sat at the kitchen table, which has 4 seats. The kids, regardless of age, sat at the kitchen bar, and any other family or guests sat in the dining room. If no other guests were there, we all ate in the kitchen. We squeezed the toddler in at kitchen table between DH & me.
Even though I didn't consciously try to duplicate this scenario, maybe subconsciously I did it bc that's what DH's kids were used to.
And there was only 1 empty spot at the table when she & fiancé arrived. My plate was there but my glass was not. I was up getting a refill and also checking on my little boy. She came in, scooted my plate out of the way, plopped her Taco Bell bag down and then pulled up an extra chair for fiancé. That put me in the awkward position to go retrieve my half-eaten plate and relocate to the island. When I reached in to retrieve my plate, that's when I made the comment about "I can't believe you brought Taco Bell when your grandma & I prepared all this homemade food". My inlaws & husband laughed....they tease each other & deal with just about everything with humor. I was miffed, but they probably thought I was just playing bc that's the way they are. I didn't say a word about her taking my seat. I simply got my plate and moved to the island.
There were 2 empty spots at the island when they arrived. My kitchen island is 5 ft by 9 ft. We ALL could've fit around it if need be.
These bits of info, plus the fact that she took your seat (mentioned several posts into the thread) could potentially have sent this whole thread in a different direction.
You said this: And to make matters worse....there wasn't enough of us to use the dining by room, so we decided to all sit in the kitchen. We have a small kitchen table that seats 4-5, and a huge island that can seat 4-6. My inlaws got their plates first and sat at the table, of course. My husband joined them while I was getting the younger kids situated at the island. Step-daughter & fiancé arrived and she plopped her Taco Bell sack down at the last place available at the table and pulled up an extra chair for her fiancé, leaving me, the hostess, without a seat at the table. Sort of, adding insult to injury.
Your original post implies that everyone was just getting seated, you hadn't yet sat down because you were helping the kids, and that's when she sat down. You even call the seat "available." That is completely different than what you just said.
These bits of info, plus the fact that she took your seat (mentioned several posts into the thread) could potentially have sent this whole thread in a different direction.
You said this: And to make matters worse....there wasn't enough of us to use the dining by room, so we decided to all sit in the kitchen. We have a small kitchen table that seats 4-5, and a huge island that can seat 4-6. My inlaws got their plates first and sat at the table, of course. My husband joined them while I was getting the younger kids situated at the island. Step-daughter & fiancé arrived and she plopped her Taco Bell sack down at the last place available at the table and pulled up an extra chair for her fiancé, leaving me, the hostess, without a seat at the table. Sort of, adding insult to injury.
Your original post implies that everyone was just getting seated, you hadn't yet sat down because you were helping the kids, and that's when she sat down. You even call the seat "available." That is completely different than what you just said.
I was confused by this as well. This story has more holes than Swiss cheese.
Let it go already! She shouldn't have moved your plate of food and sat there, but it's not worth stressing over.
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Anyone who sees that as appropriate is insane. If she had brought chicken casserole or something that contributed that would be one thing but the obvious "diss" is "I would rather eat fake fast food than anything YOU cook."
