Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
This is not a child. This is a young woman. This is not the OP's child - it is her husband's grown daughter. This is not a child that the OP raised - she never lived in the house with them. The OP has limited power here - and I think she knows it and doesn't like it.
Interesting that you point out that step children can be "ugly", exes can be "snarky" and husbands can be "passive"....but stepmother can have "other stressors". ALL players can display less than stellar behaviors and ALL players have their share of "other stressors".
True, but the OP is writing from the role of stepmother. Just trying to shed some light on her perspective.
I am a step daughter, too, and would never be disrespectful toward my step-mom.
Now this is the kind of revisionism I don't understand. People complain about the OP seeming to change the story, but isn't that what you just did?
No, because that was the reason the OP herself gave in her very first post.
Quote:
Originally Posted by katjonjj
It's a fact the SD is a monster.
No, that is an opinion. And a very strange opinion to have about a complete stranger that you have never met.
Quote:
You don't have to have meat with every meal, there was plenty for her to eat.
No, but it was Christmas dinner. Sorry, but to me Christmas dinner isn't a plate of starches and green beans.
Quote:
I understood that to mean "only available chair AT THE TABLE" and that was OP's chair. There were 2 others just not at the table. SD can't see that there is 2 open spots over there and 1 at the table then put that together?
Nope, the OP said that there were only enough chairs for those who arrived before the step daughter and finance, and that she figured they could eat once others were done eating and some chairs opened up.
Quote:
They laughed it off so who knows. Maybe none of them want to confront this little brat? This simply wouldn't be tolerated in our home.
Or they figure its Christmas and its really not that big of a deal considering they're lucky to all be together. After all, others did not have as much luck with the inclement weather that kept them apart Christmas day.
I think it's fine
Family just get together
They are cheap and got Taco Bell because they thought the food would be "ham-centric" for some reason
I don't see a problem and if everyone else enjoyed the food then it was a net-positive experience
Take in the positive
The weirdness / off-centeredness just means interesting material to talk about when that person isn't around lol
Someone would be done AT THE TABLE. She was specifically talking about the table but there were other seats available NOT at the table.
It was not said "at the table". If there were other seats available, then why would it be expected that the step daughter would have to wait till someone else was done eating? I'm not going to look through all of the OP's revised posts, but I think she even said that the step daughter should have gone and found a chair elsewhere to use. The OP knew in advance how many people would be there and how many chairs should have been in the kitchen. After all, to use the OP's words, she had a whole extra day to plan.
Quote:
Pulling a child aside is not making a scene it's called parenting.
A 22 year old college graduate is not a child. And pulling aside a 22 year old who never lived in your house is not parenting, that is causing a scene.
True, but the OP is writing from the role of stepmother. Just trying to shed some light on her perspective.
.
But on this thread, the stepmother/OP has been ugly and snarky. She very selectively metes out tidbits of information if she thinks it will bolster her position. It's weirdly competitive and actually quite childish and unbecoming behavior for a grown-ass woman. No doubt she has other stressors, but I'm sure she is not the only one.
Due to severe weather/flooding, we had our family Xmas gathering yesterday at our house. Not a big group, just my husband, me our 3 kids still at home, hubs' adult son & daughter & daughter's fiancé, and hubs' parents. I did the majority of the cooking...side dishes, bread, a cake. My MIL brought the ham, fruit salad, and a ton of assorted homemade sweets.
My step-daughter & fiancé were late but on their way so we went ahead and set all food out, buffet style. When they arrived, we saw they had made a pit stop. At Taco Bell. She isn't a kid, she's a 22 yr old engaged woman and she brought a sack of Taco Bell to the family Christmas dinner because " she doesn't like ham". (Not a religious thing, just preference). Ham was only 1 item out of probably 10 dishes. Her fiancé ate what we had, she was the only one who didn't. And to make matters worse....there wasn't enough of us to use the dining by room, so we decided to all sit in the kitchen. We have a small kitchen table that seats 4-5, and a huge island that can seat 4-6. My inlaws got their plates first and sat at the table, of course. My husband joined them while I was getting the younger kids situated at the island. Step-daughter & fiancé arrived and she plopped her Taco Bell sack down at the last place available at the table and pulled up an extra chair for her fiancé, leaving me, the hostess, without a seat at the table. Sort of, adding insult to injury.
Am I being too sensitive, or was this extremely rude? I did say something about the Taco Bell. I did it in a joking way, but I said "I can't believe you brought Taco Bell when your grandmother & I made all this homemade food." She said "well, I didn't know what else you were having besides ham and I don't like ham." Where I'm from, if someone is feeding you, you find something to eat & say thank you. If you're hungry when you leave, THEN you get something else on your way home! You don't bring your own bag of fast food. And the take the hostess' seat at the table. She's not a picky 7 yr old, she's an engaged "woman".
How would you have handle this & what would you do going forward?
I think you're more offended than being sensitive but I understand where you coming from, with it being the holidays you would think everyone will eat the family's dinner but at the same time you have to respect a person choices, she may just had a taste for Taco Bell at the time. I would have asked her would she like a plate to go for later that's all.
No, because that was the reason the OP herself gave in her very first post.
No, that is an opinion. And a very strange opinion to have about a complete stranger that you have never met.
You must think that the SD was an angel who is so tormented that she has to resort to eating fast food in the corner of the bathroom.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sundaydrive00
No, but it was Christmas dinner. Sorry, but to me Christmas dinner isn't a plate of starches and green beans.
But you consider Taco Bell a perfectly good substitute for the whole dinner laid out for her consumption?
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sundaydrive00
Nope, the OP said that there were only enough chairs for those who arrived before the step daughter and finance, and that she figured they could eat once others were done eating and some chairs opened up.
If there weren't enough chairs... First, how would SD be able to grab one for her fiance and OP get to sit at the counter with the kids? Second, I would assume they had chairs in the dining room, or was that standing room only? Third, OP was specifically talking about the table where the adults were and where her seat was stolen.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sundaydrive00
Or they figure its Christmas and its really not that big of a deal considering they're lucky to all be together. After all, others did not have as much luck with the inclement weather that kept them apart Christmas day.
Which is why I gave version of what would happen in my house. I don't care if my grown daughter is 50. What I would do would be the same. I don't use terms like "step" or "half" when it comes to kids. They are my kids and I treat them all the same. Even the adult ones.
It was not said "at the table". If there were other seats available, then why would it be expected that the step daughter would have to wait till someone else was done eating? I'm not going to look through all of the OP's revised posts, but I think she even said that the step daughter should have gone and found a chair elsewhere to use. The OP knew in advance how many people would be there and how many chairs should have been in the kitchen. After all, to use the OP's words, she had a whole extra day to plan.
A 22 year old college graduate is not a child. And pulling aside a 22 year old who never lived in your house is not parenting, that is causing a scene.
Quote:
Originally Posted by katjonjj
If there weren't enough chairs... First, how would SD be able to grab one for her fiance and OP get to sit at the counter with the kids? Second, I would assume they had chairs in the dining room, or was that standing room only? Third, OP was specifically talking about the table where the adults were and where her seat was stolen.
Which is why I gave version of what would happen in my house. I don't care if my grown daughter is 50. What I would do would be the same. I don't use terms like "step" or "half" when it comes to kids. They are my kids and I treat them all the same. Even the adult ones.
Why on earth did you eat in the kitchen where you wouldn't have enough seating at the table? This seems to be important to you...the whole sitting at a table and not the kitchen counter. Sounds like poor planning on your part.
So she brought Taco Bell because she doesn't like ham. Did you know she doesn't like ham? If you did know and didn't offer to make her something, then you were the rude one. I wouldn't stress over it. Pick your battles in life. Seriously, if she wants to eat something that really isn't food and goes through you faster than a freight train, then let her. She's learn eventually.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
