A close friendship lost..... (guilty, personality, conversation, introducing)
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Well as it happens, she just messaged me asking if im ok, because I was wishing a happy new year to everyone on facebook and I wrote that 2015 was a tough year and that I was hoping for a better 2016. My initial response was "don't you know"? but I restrained myself and reiterated everything that had went on this year to her. And then of course she began with us not talking anymore, and pinning the whole thing on me because I wasn't compassionate enough to her about her "tooth" problems, and I apparently don't realize how much work she actually needs.
Anyway I said my peace to her, told her that I was there for her all the time, and when I was going through my stuff I didn't even get one call from her! Well of course she had no response to that, so I told her we obviously both feel certain ways, and lets just agree to disagree, and move on with our lives (because I'm not up for arguing).
I think she can sense that you are kind and caring, and somewhat of a pushover so she picked up on this and is using it against you.
Learn from this, and stay kind as you are, but stand up for yourself.
You should tell her, I am sorry you are in pain, but I find it selfish of you
to blame your hurt tooth on me,
you obviously had that issue BEFORE me.
Believe me I know all about friendship, I have been best friends with the same two people since I was 10 years old, and we're like sisters! Problem is I probably hold all my other friends to that standard, and maybe I shouldn't.
BeBe, don't change who you are because of this. It's a learning experience. We've all had friends like this. You think they are as deep as you, but then find out they aren't. I think you handled it great.
I think I'm going to let this friendship go, as I've come to realize it is very one sided. I have too much going on in my life right now to stress over a selfish person who only looks out for themselves. Here's to a great 2016!
I had a friend like that once. Took me about a year to get over it and then the light bulb came on and realized how foolish I had been.
Really bad advice. This coworker is not a friend. She is a user. She used the OP as her free psychiatrist through all her issues, a lot of which sounds like nonsense.
The OP's father is seriously ill and the OP starts having severe depression and she is making jokes like "Oh do you have Alzheimers as well", a real charmer. Now it sounds like she is trying to scam the OP, who bites into a cookie when the night before you say your tooth is hurting? Sounds like she wants money for her dental work.
Maya Angelou said it best "when people show themselves to you believe them".
She has shown herself, time to distance as much as you possibly can, which is awkward since you work together. But stop seeing her outside of work.
Well as it happens, she just messaged me asking if im ok, because I was wishing a happy new year to everyone on facebook and I wrote that 2015 was a tough year and that I was hoping for a better 2016. My initial response was "don't you know"? but I restrained myself and reiterated everything that had went on this year to her. And then of course she began with us not talking anymore, and pinning the whole thing on me because I wasn't compassionate enough to her about her "tooth" problems, and I apparently don't realize how much work she actually needs.
Anyway I said my peace to her, told her that I was there for her all the time, and when I was going through my stuff I didn't even get one call from her! Well of course she had no response to that, so I told her we obviously both feel certain ways, and lets just agree to disagree, and move on with our lives (because I'm not up for arguing).
Good grief, looks like you may want to block her on Facebook, lol. Best of luck to you in 2016!
So about 3 years ago I became good friends with a co-worker, she kind of really latched on to me because she had no close friends other than her sisters, and we just clicked. Anytime she had an issue or a problem (whether it was her boyfriend, family or health concerns) I was one of her first phone calls and she would vent to me or ask me for advice, and I always obliged because that's what friends do, we even took a vacation together a couple of months ago and had a great time!
At the beginning of November, my father was having major surgery and I had gotten very ill, which turned out to be depression/anxiety triggered by my father's surgery. During this time I told her that I was sick but didn't know what was wrong (because I went undiagnosed until the beginning of December), and even had a visit to the Emergency Room. She was aware of almost everything going on with me, but didn't seem to really be there for me like I was for her whenever she was going through something (which happened quite often during our friendship). I took off of work a lot, but when I did get back, she would start questioning me about being sick, but it felt like more of an interrogation, rather than genuine concern. Also during this time I suffered from confusion a lot, and had asked her if she had returned something she borrowed from me because I genuinely could not remember if she did....her response was that she gave it back to me and and then proceeded to ask me "do you now suffer from alzheimer's too"?, which seemed like a bad joke as well as a dig.
Anyway, all this kind of irritated me and made me feel like she was a fair weathered friend, so I kept my distance from her for about a week, but then I sort of got over it and thought maybe I overreacted, or maybe she just doesn't know any better (she can be self-centered at times). So mid-December I had baked a batch of cookies that I brought into work, and gave one to her, she took a bite of the cookie and grabbed her mouth like she chipped her tooth. I asked her what was wrong, and she said last night she had hurt the tooth and now biting on the cookie caused her pain, however later on she realized she had chipped her tooth. She ended up going to the dentist, having the tooth removed and needing an implant. Best part, she blamed me for this! She kept texting me incessantly complaining how she needs all this dental work done and that the dentist said she must've bit into a hard cookie or something (it was a soft cookie), and then went on to say she guesses this was her payback for her getting me into a car accident this past summer (I was in her car when she got into the accident and the side air bag was deployed on the passenger seat and ended up banging me in the head). I never ever blamed her for that accident, in fact I was the one who defended her against the other person who's car was involved. Anyway ever since this whole tooth incident has happened our friendship has died, we don't even say hello when we pass each other at work.
I guess I'm really just venting here, but I'm also trying to figure out if I was wrong in anyway, but every which way I look at the situation I just can't see what I did wrong?
I think I'm starting to see that she wasn't as good a friend as I thought she was.
She is no friend. In fact, she spells trouble in the long term. That's ridiculous blaming your cookie for the tooth thing.
As for the comments about your health, that's out of line, of course.
I'm not one to say drop someone who could be a good friend. Good friends are hard to come by. But that's one that I think you should keep your distance from. She might even end up suing you for something she blames you for. Trouble.
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