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Well, according to google, an average funeral costs $7k - $10k.
And young kids often don't have that money laying around.
I don't think that asking for money after somebody died is free loading or taking advantage.
And if you can't ask your church friends and family, who can you ask? I think the church is the place to ask for help, not fakebook or work places.
Why do people keep thinking that it's the church's responsibility to help bury people? That's not their jobs. Not every church is financially stable enough to have a fund for burial of its members. What's wrong with people actually going out and getting insurance. Cut back on that pack of cigarettes to pay the premiums. Insurance is not that expensive. People die in churches all the time. If every time someone died the church gave money to help bury them then that would bankrupt the church. It could also possibly cause a rift. "Oh, you helped so-in-so last year but don't have money to help me? No, my church doesn't have a burial fund. Yes, we will feed the family after the services but that's broken down between the different departments. The choir may bring the chicken. The deacon board brings the veggies. The ushers bring rolls and tea, etc.
Helping is not the issue. Who you are helping is. Had the money been collected for the mom, sure, no problem. But the money is being collected for the kids. A few of them I haven't seen but once in the past 6 months to a year.
Wow... Reading all of your responses I am now mistified as to why on earth you even asked the question here other than looking for a chance to vent. It's quite clear you've already made your decision and are just seeking approval and agreement for this decision.
Don't give the $10 and just leave it alone. And stop throwing around details and justifications regarding the church. It makes all church goers look judgemental and rude. The role of the church has always been to care for others in their community regardless of the persons attendance history, life choices (so what if she had a child out of wedlock?) or situations. The church is not a small little private club that only takes care of its own. It takes care of its community. That's how you show people who Jesus really is - not by sitting in a pew or having coffee in a break room while gossiping about people but by actually serving people and showing them compassion and love.
Wow... Reading all of your responses I am now mistified as to why on earth you even asked the question here other than looking for a chance to vent. It's quite clear you've already made your decision and are just seeking approval and agreement for this decision.
Don't give the $10 and just leave it alone. And stop throwing around details and justifications regarding the church. It makes all church goers look judgemental and rude. The role of the church has always been to care for others in their community regardless of the persons attendance history, life choices (so what if she had a child out of wedlock?) or situations. The church is not a small little private club that only takes care of its own. It takes care of its community. That's how you show people who Jesus really is - not by sitting in a pew or having coffee in a break room while gossiping about people but by actually serving people and showing them compassion and love.
Wow, that was a great post. I agree 100% to every single word.
Why do people keep thinking that it's the church's responsibility to help bury people? That's not their jobs. Not every church is financially stable enough to have a fund for burial of its members. What's wrong with people actually going out and getting insurance. Cut back on that pack of cigarettes to pay the premiums. Insurance is not that expensive. People die in churches all the time. If every time someone died the church gave money to help bury them then that would bankrupt the church. It could also possibly cause a rift. "Oh, you helped so-in-so last year but don't have money to help me? No, my church doesn't have a burial fund. Yes, we will feed the family after the services but that's broken down between the different departments. The choir may bring the chicken. The deacon board brings the veggies. The ushers bring rolls and tea, etc.
What does this have to do with church? You know the family because of church, but your OP indicated that the mother is in a group of friends and one of that circle of friends is collecting money from friends. What does your church have to do with it other than church being your connection point?
My synagogue supports those who need financial assistance due to illness or death. We don't get worked up about what is fair - if we are able and willing to contribute, then we do. Not everyone is in need. Again, it is really no surprise that these children stopped attending your church if your attitude is pervasive there.
Don't give if you don't want to, just don't come here looking for people to tell you that these kids (and yes, at 18 and 19 years old, they are KIDS) who just lost their father in a violent and unexpected manner should not receive any help for what is certainly a very expensive, difficult period of time in their lives.
I have a hard time imagining Jesus being this stingy with $10. You Christians are confusing sometimes. You supposedly follow a guy who was purportedly one of the most generous people ever to walk the planet, yet you obsess over giving $10 to some kids whose dad just died, even when you're good friends with her mom. I'm not trying to guilt you into it. I'm just saying that maybe you should pick a religion with different tenets.
Helping is not the issue. Who you are helping is. Had the money been collected for the mom, sure, no problem. But the money is being collected for the kids. A few of them I haven't seen but once in the past 6 months to a year.
So you've never donated money to strangers before? One of my besties is Catholic, very Catholic. I'm not religious. She came to me and asked me if I could help a friend from her church and asked me for a few dollars. I felt sorry for her and I said, here take this $20. To me she was just another human being between a rock and a hard space that needed all the help she could get.
Have you ever bought anything from a neighborhood shortie selling something door to door, or do you ask what church they're from first?
It sounds like you're splitting hairs because when you collect for the kids of the church mother you approve of you're also collecting money for the family. I'm sure you don't mean to be the poster child for the one size fits all lets shun those who don't think the way we do, because our way is the right way, but that's the way it's coming across to me. Do you think this is the right way to be? Lets be honest as to why you don't want to give to your friend's kids.
I have a hard time imagining Jesus being this stingy with $10. You Christians are confusing sometimes. You supposedly follow a guy who was purportedly one of the most generous people ever to walk the planet, yet you obsess over giving $10 to some kids whose dad just died, even when you're good friends with her mom. I'm not trying to guilt you into it. I'm just saying that maybe you should pick a religion with different tenets.
Not all of us are like this - I promise! :-)
As for finding another religion...I think all focus on helping others and being a good person, sooooo.....
Helping is not the issue. Who you are helping is. Had the money been collected for the mom, sure, no problem. But the money is being collected for the kids. A few of them I haven't seen but once in the past 6 months to a year.
You really are taking $10.00 out of proportion, seriously. Now, what would the Jesus you claim to follow, would do in your place? According to the bible -your holy book- he will help without any hesitation, not only that. He will help both the followers and those that are far from God's righteous ways.
Sadly by reading your excuses about helping others, you come off as a pharisean to me.
One last thing, if these kids are not currently church members, maybe by helping them with a little present. They'll be so surprised and delighted of your/Gods action, that they might as well decide to comeback to church for good. Think about it.
I second this.
Show what really being Christian/good human being you are. If not for them -regardless of their behavior- for your own.
exactly
its a $10 trip to Judgement Town and OP doesn't want to pay the fare
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