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Wow, thank you everyone for the responses! It definitely gives me a bit of courage knowing that I'm not a bad parent/daughter for wanting better opportunities and a change of scenery ��
Also, just to clarify, we don't allow him to physically call my mom after we say no about something. But one example is that we don't allow him to have tv in his room and everytime we see her she asks if he can have the tv she bought him �� She buys him five of everything, so if he breaks one he knows he has four more. I know I shouldn't allow that, but I also don't want to be the jerk who tells their kid he has to give back grandma's Christmas presents. I want him to value the things he does has, so he takes good care of those things and tries his best not to break them! I'm hoping the thousand miles in between will help with the spoiling as well!!!
You absolutely have the right to move where you want. And if sounds like a good opportunity go for it.
I do have to wonder though, you said your husband has been laid off 6 times in 6 years? Did your parents loan you and your husband money, cover your bills while he was out of work?
It could be your parents are just being difficult, or is there more to the story where they have bailed you out a few times and see the move and worry about another bailout if things don't work out?
He was lucky enough to receive unemployment between jobs. My parents have always been there when we've needed them, but we've always paid them back. To be honest we also want to hopefully get ahead financially so that we don't have to depend on anyone. My parents are the type of people that since we're moving for financial reasons, would pay our mortgage every month to get us to stay. Which is super nice, but also makes me extremely uncomfortable. I almost think my mom wants us to be dependent on her to an extent.
You should do what makes your family happy! Your family is not defined as you, your husband and your children. What is best for everyone?
My one piece of advice, be sure you really want to be away from family. Having two small children and moving away from family can be very difficult. With your husband working 60+ hours a week it will all fall on your shoulders.
He was lucky enough to receive unemployment between jobs. My parents have always been there when we've needed them, but we've always paid them back. To be honest we also want to hopefully get ahead financially so that we don't have to depend on anyone. My parents are the type of people that since we're moving for financial reasons, would pay our mortgage every month to get us to stay. Which is super nice, but also makes me extremely uncomfortable. I almost think my mom wants us to be dependent on her to an extent.
What a great opportunity for your family in Colorado.
Are your parents working and still raising kids? If not, they are the ones who should be traveling back and forth to visit when you move.
What a shame that you allow your parents to dictate your life like this and to treat you like a child. Your husband must be somewhat of a saint to put up with this dysfunctional behavior. You might want to seek some professional help for your enabling, co-dependent behavior in this realm.
OP, your husband should accept the boss' offer to relocate. Once everything is finalized on paper, then tell your parents that you're relocating to Colorado. It is an all around good move for your family and it's something that you've wanted to do for a while. It's a done deal and not up for negotiation.
They will adjust.
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