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OP- I get the same feeling as you that your hubby wants you and your daughter to go with him to run interference for him. He doesn't seem to really trust himself. That is very passive and ridiculous for an adult man of his age..
Why does he have to stay for two weeks under these circumstances..
Thats exactly what it is. This is THE most passive aggressive family I have ever encountered.
That and in the time we have been gone his entire family including me and daughter here found out he was a cross dresser due to his putting his photos on the net in drag, I found out on accident and had kept his secret for years( until he put photos on the net ) and had to deal with the family thinking I was keeping him from them ( he totally withdrew from them) and when they found out the truth BLAMED me for his dressing as well . So yes this will also be the first time back with all of them knowing . Ex wife likes this, but I live with it everyday. I do not think she should be anywhere in our lives , her portal is through the daughter. I have never meddled in communications between he and his daughter EVER unless I am there and he literally throws the phone at me and it's her on there or on FB messenger ( my account)
I was going to quote you earlier because not 2 weeks ago I was finally formally diagnosed with PTSD and I've never been in a war , I grew up with tornado's and hurricanes have been divorced before etc all kinds of stuff but never had any issues until about 2 years ago I started having very classic signs of PTSD. I went to the therapist and she could see it immediately . The daily dressing and the very recent deaths of my mom and brother were wearing on ( no pun intended ) me and my medical Dr was worried . I've had a he88 of a life these past years and I am finally worn out. If he goes, he goes . It's not going to turn out well for me either way .
HE CAN go! The OP has said that NUMEROUS times! The OP and her daughter don't want to go. Even if they sold a few of the horses, the remaining horses would need to be taken care of.
I'm not sure how we went from you not having the money for the trip to you considering a divorce? Is he the father of your daughter?
I understand this woman is incredibly difficult and a bit crazy, however I can't blame just her for sleeping with married men. It takes 2 people to have sex and only one of them vowed to be faithful to you. If he cheats, it's 100% his choice, no mistakes, no I got seduced or drunk or it was a complete accident.
What kind of relationship does your husband have with the daughter? I can't imagine him just not going because you can't/won't attend unless he doesn't have much of a relationship with her.
I'm not sure how we went from you not having the money for the trip to you considering a divorce? Is he the father of your daughter?
I understand this woman is incredibly difficult and a bit crazy, however I can't blame just her for sleeping with married men. It takes 2 people to have sex and only one of them vowed to be faithful to you. If he cheats, it's 100% his choice, no mistakes, no I got seduced or drunk or it was a complete accident.
What kind of relationship does your husband have with the daughter? I can't imagine him just not going because you can't/won't attend unless he doesn't have much of a relationship with her.
They have no relationship unless she wants something or as gotten INTO something and needs to be rescued .
I'm sorry I am just so done with this woman and his family. Part of this is how it has progressed here in the house overnight . Not just on C-D . I totally agree with the cheating part.
With your anxiety issues all coming to a head, you really need to take care of yourself and not go. If hubby doesn't understand that, he is being a selfish jerk. Sorry, but true. You don't need to defend it...you aren't going. simple.
HFB you know I just this second told him that and he hit the freaking ROOF .
Getting ready to book his $507 one way ticket now . He can deal with them .. I actually did just say, " You know , I need to look out for me for now .. this is going to be too much for me to handle anymore .
Honestly, it sounds like you need to speak to a lawyer and find out what your options truly are. Just packing up and leaving is not advisable unless you've spoken with an attorney. If you do, this could be abandonment and you could be charged with kidnapping since you'd be taking the daughter across state line. Definitely do not move to another state if he's out of the country! That could land you in a really horrible situation.
DutchessCottonPuff; You are heading into quicksand with your hubby and his family.. Yes, I fully agree with you. You have to take care of yourself and your youngest daughter now.
This is really beyond a mess. There are too many serious problems here. Continue to try to get some medical help and counseling to try to figure out your options. I just don't see your husband being of any help to you at this point in time. He seems to have too many of his own problems. It's a good thing you're 6,000 miles away from his family. What to do with your husband is another matter.
Put yourself first. Never give anyone permission to make you miserable. Life has really thrown things at you to wear you down. Time to figure a way to recovery and that may mean letting go of a lot.
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