Tired of roommates girlfriend not contributing. (father, sister, adults, abuse)
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You are absolutely right. You are going to have to put your foot down, and you are between a rock and a hard place. Making it financially on just your income will be very hard, so you feel stuck having to accept unacceptable behavior.
Who pays the bills? You need to sit down and divide the bills into thirds. Write it out, they need visuals. Insist that he pay her portion since she doesn't. If you make him carry this burden it will get fixed faster.
Put non-perishables in a locking cupboard...if you can somehow keep your food separate do it. Literally that is what is required when you are on food stamps. She is stealing the food out of your mouth.
Do not give her rides, in short...Do nothing that requires you to use your income or energy.
You roommate doesn't get to enjoy his live in relationship on your dime. That's just B.S.
If you have other housing options, explore those. You deserve to live your life, not be forced to live hers.
While I didn't wish it would come to this, do you think it would be worth it to tell them that if she doesn't start contributing to bills I WILL alert the landlord and tell them there is someone that is living here when they shouldn't? Of course my roommate will very upset and not likely to be friends with me anymore, do you think it would be worth it?
I have thought about going to my landlord and asking her if there is a way she cold asks her to get out without them knowing it was me.
Only do that if you are positive you won't get evicted. You can look at your lease, and tell your roommate he is going to have to go to the LL and get his girlfriend put on the lease, before you both get evicted.
I honestly think you should explore all options for other roommates or low income rentals. As a disabled person you may have some real helpful programs that you aren't even aware of. Ditch this roommate, he is abusing you in letting her take advantage....they both are. And, if it wasn't her, it would be someone else.
If you'll pm me your county and state I'll do some research, and send you links. If you are a senior that adds more options. People with disabilities have several programs available meant to level the playing field in our society, you should explore all of them.
My soapbox....If folks that need programs don't utilize them, the programs go away...er the term "needs based"
I encourage you to talk to anyone you work with about your housing options. You deserve it.
No, don't threaten your roommate...Try the things I suggested in my first post..try to get him to pay her share. Sorry, but this guy is not being a real friend to you, otherwise he wouldn't take advantage of you. Don't discuss your business with them, they don't seem trustworthy.
If he doesn't start paying her share or make her move, then you do what you can to get into a better living situation. Don't let them use your ebt card, and if they steal it talk to your case manager and get help.
I wouldn't contact the landlord just yet; you might end up with a 3 day or 7 day notice to pay or quit. Meaning, get rid of her or get her on the lease. I doubt she'll pass any criteria your landlord has (assuming your landlord runs a credit/background check) and the last thing you need is an eviction because of your horny roommate.
So, tell your roommate to get rid of the moocher because both of you (and her actually) could be facing eviction for having an unauthorized tenant.
Is losing your 'friend' worth it? Yes, it's worth it because renting with low income is hard, but renting with low income AND an eviction is much, much harder.
Good luck...this is just one of the many reasons I never went the roommate route and made sure my kids didn't either.
I know for a a fact that unless the person is a family member no more than two can live at at once.
and if you know that as fact, telling your landlord won't help the situation...it will make it worse. Try and get rid of her without involving the landlord.
Stop blaming the girlfriend - blame your roommate. This is like when your spouse has an affair - it's the spouse's fault, not who they are cheating with! You may end up having to move yourself if the sex is that good for him that he just can't say no to it. But there's no way you should be sharing your food stamps or doing anything to help her if she's not ponying up some rent. No, that's the "john's" responsibility to pay for, not you.
Only do that if you are positive you won't get evicted. You can look at your lease, and tell your roommate he is going to have to go to the LL and get his girlfriend put on the lease, before you both get evicted.
The GF already isn't paying, the last thing the OP wants is her on the lease because once she is, she's entitled to stay there, this time the 2 guys will have to keep paying officially and he's not going to have as much recourse. Especially since she already wasn't paying before and wasn't interested in doing so. Putting her on the lease is the worse thing to do. Do NOT put her on the lease with you 2.
OP, since she's not paying, then the roommate needs to start paying 2/3 unless she's out. He will want to refuse and put up a fight and you'll need to stand your ground. Stop GIVING them money and make sure the bills are being paid. Otherwise, look into moving somewhere else (in which case, she can be the person to take up your lease and your roommate can shoulder 100% of the rent/utilities).
The GF already isn't paying, the last thing the OP wants is her on the lease because once she is, she's entitled to stay there, this time the 2 guys will have to keep paying officially and he's not going to have as much recourse. Especially since she already wasn't paying before and wasn't interested in doing so. Putting her on the lease is the worse thing to do. Do NOT put her on the lease with you 2.
OP, since she's not paying, then the roommate needs to start paying 2/3 unless she's out. He will want to refuse and put up a fight and you'll need to stand your ground. Stop GIVING them money and make sure the bills are being paid. Otherwise, look into moving somewhere else (in which case, she can be the person to take up your lease and your roommate can shoulder 100% of the rent/utilities).
You left out this part. But, I agree, OP needs away from this user roommate period. But, on the lease now he is legally responsible for half. And, we all know this jerk roommate won't try to put her on the lease.
"No, don't threaten your roommate...Try the things I suggested in my first post..try to get him to pay her share. Sorry, but this guy is not being a real friend to you, otherwise he wouldn't take advantage of you. Don't discuss your business with them, they don't seem trustworthy.
I know for a a fact that unless the person is a family member no more than two can live at at once.
So why did you let her move in?
You are disabled and on government assistance. I think by letting this moocher take advantage, you are actually letting her take advantage of the taxpayers who fund the programs that are designed to help and support you. It's wrong on more levels than one and you should rectify the situation ASAP.
You left out this part. But, I agree, OP needs away from this user roommate period.
"No, don't threaten your roommate...Try the things I suggested in my first post..try to get him to pay her share. Sorry, but this guy is not being a real friend to you, otherwise he wouldn't take advantage of you. Don't discuss your business with them, they don't seem trustworthy.
I'm sorry, I wasn't trying to leaving anything out. I just wanted to emphasize NOT getting the girl on the lease with them.
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