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I would never tell someone how to parent. I might think it. If I thought there was danger I might say something. I am a little overly protective about children doing dangerous things, especially being in high places where they could fall. I might keep my eye on the kids but that is my own fear, not a judgment.
I had kids and we did the best we could but one vacation was with in-laws and they felt like they knew best about how I should force my son to talk and not give him food until he asked for it. He was disabled and didn't have language skills and would have starved if he had to ask for food. That made me mad be we were the guests so had to be polite, but it was a close call.
Telling people how to raise their kids is a big no-no.
Exactly. Where I come from, you can GENTLY and SUGGESTIVELY give a little bit of advice, but that's it. Once the parent has decided to do things in XYZ manner even after your advice, your response at that point is to ZIP YOUR LIPS. Period.
Someone said what we do isn't free range it's just parenting. It may be. I'm not necessarily worried about semantics and what something is called, but the liberties I allow on these trips tends to be more than what SOME other people I know would allow. I like it that we're not at a city pool with our swimming, I know they have to do what they do for given reasons but their overcautious tendencies drive me crazy and also frustrate our children. We avoid city pools for that very reason.
With respect to the woods, my standard tends to be what I call the "name test"--that is, even if I am OK with not being able to see you, you nonetheless need to be within range enough that if I call your name out you here me and reply and can be back with us within a minute or less. There are established paths and we tend to stay on or very close to them. We practice diligence, we just don't require them to be 8 inches or closer as some seem to desire us to do.
You mentioned how you were a guest of your in laws and had to "conform." That tells you why I was so mad THEY were the guests and yet they tried to make US conform. You can bet that we won't ever be "guests" of my mother, unless we can visit on our dime we won't be going to her area EVER.
Must of all, my overwhelming feeling was this going in--this is our vacation, we've been here 3 times before, we do what we do without any problems, and in fact the kids are older now vs then, we are going on a vacation and not a parenting seminar and so any disapproval you may feel about our style we'd prefer you to just keep it to yourself.
With respect to the woods, my standard tends to be what I call the "name test"--that is, even if I am OK with not being able to see you, you nonetheless need to be within range enough that if I call your name out you here me and reply and can be back with us within a minute or less. There are established paths and we tend to stay on or very close to them. We practice diligence, we just don't require them to be 8 inches or closer as some seem to desire us to do.
But what happens when this breaks down? You get busy setting up your tripod, camera, etc. to get that awesome landscape pic and 5 - 10 minutes goes by. Meanwhile, Johnny has fallen down a hill and hit his head on a tree and is unconscious. What then?
But what happens when this breaks down? You get busy setting up your tripod, camera, etc. to get that awesome landscape pic and 5 - 10 minutes goes by. Meanwhile, Johnny has fallen down a hill and hit his head on a tree and is unconscious. What then?
What about when you're driving and your tire goes flat and your AAA has expired and your cell phone then dies and no Good Samaritan will help you and a storm comes up? What then?
By the way, I'm told more kids die in car accidents than anything else. Should we take up horseback riding?
Yes I do know full well, and it's my right short of beating them with baseball bats to parent them how I feel. I don't presume to tell other parents how they should parent, and I'm not interested in someone preaching at me about MY choices with MY children.
I think most people feel that way but it's inevitable...family, friends etc. love to give advice when it comes to raising kids and when you come on the internet it's total strangers who will lend hand. Goes with the territory.
The good news is your kids will grow up and then you can tell them how to raise their kids. (jk)
I think most people feel that way but it's inevitable...family, friends etc. love to give advice when it comes to raising kids and when you come on the internet it's total strangers who will lend hand. Goes with the territory.
The good news is your kids will grow up and then you can tell them how to raise their kids. (jk)
It's actually fine what you're talking about, and in fact there have been occasions where I've said that sometimes I think some parents are too touchy to where even advice given in LOVE and with a gentle tone is still met with a hiss. I don't want to be that way myself.
The issue is my mother especially hasn't learned this concept. Everything is delivered harshly and critically and extremely preachy and in a manner of sometimes even interfering. That's why I don't want it.
What about when you're driving and your tire goes flat and your AAA has expired and your cell phone then dies and no Good Samaritan will help you and a storm comes up? What then?
I guess your screwed or you change your own tire.
Quote:
By the way, I'm told more kids die in car accidents than anything else. Should we take up horseback riding?
Regardless,, MY kids MY decisions.
Not sure how that relates. MY point is you may think your kids are only a minute a way but in the woods things can happen quickly that changes that.
{snip} Not sure how that relates. MY point is you may think your kids are only a minute a way but in the woods things can happen quickly that changes that.
I've never had any problems. Everything has some risks. Obviously one needs to be responsible and diligent, but I don't want to live in fear either. Being a child and a parent should be fun and not so full of anxiety.
OMG the WOOOODDDDSSS?!?!?!? Better they be on the couch playing GTA.
And I never even suggested that. His two kids are not the best behaved and his friend who had worked for the forest service (a professional) was concerned. I grew up in Colorado and spent quite a bit of time in the mountains. I know how quickly conditions can change and how easy it is to get turned around. These are things that the OP doesn't seem to appreciate or be at all concerned with.
If it were me I would let your mom go...she is the only one you have Stick to your original plan and have fun! Buy her some books to read and tell her to relax!
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(jk)
Stick to your original plan and have fun! Buy her some books to read and tell her to relax!
