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Alright, so I have slight doubts regarding this friend of mine.
Last year, I worked with a guy who had a crush on me and she knew I liked him too. I was way too nervous and shy around him, so I always acted defensive towards him despite his best efforts to get me to be more friendly. Every time he'd want me to go out for a drink with his friends, this girl would always find a way to prevent me from going. She would tell me she'd try to get him and I to talk, but whenever he tried to make a move, she would pull me away from him.
I didn't think much of it at the time because we worked together and I couldn't date him because of that. She claimed she didn't fancy him (I know he doesn't fancy her, but he likes her as a buddy).
Anyway, fast forward. We're friends on Facebook and after we all left the company, I remember she never bothered linking a single post of his or commenting. For an entire year, she didn't seem to be that interested. Mind you, after we left the company, we all moved to different countries.
Last week, I told her that since he's relocating where I currently am, I would like to reconnect with him. She said it's a good idea and that maybe he's my soulmate blah blah. She said I should definitely try. Fine, except now I see she's suddenly remembered his existence and she legitimately likes/comments on every single one of his posts. I'm very curious and this is suspicious. Maybe I'm blowing this out of proportions because it's on Facebook, but isn't it convenient that she suddenly started being interested in his Facebook activities after I told her about my plan to see him again?!
She's got like 2,000 friends on Facebook, so it's not like he's the only one popping in her feed. This is very strange. Plus, I sent her an email a few days ago talking about him again, she hasn't replied but she has enough time to like his Facebook posts in the meantime. Please.
All you can do is connect with him and see how he feels. When I say connect, maybe you do the initial contact with Facebook, but encourage him to take your conversation offline (ie. get his phone number and call).
Why do you keep bringing him back up if you feel she's trying to sabotage the two of you?
It sounds like you want to "use" her to try to get an "in" with this guy somehow yet you continue to be shocked that she's not doing that - in fact, she's doing the opposite.
Why not stop trying to get to him via this girl who is definitely not going to help you anyway, and just be a grownup and talk to the guy yourself?
Oh no, I was not relying on her to reconnect with him. I was just confessing my interest un him, but in no way was I expecting her to get him and I to talk. I know she won't help.
If I am romantically interested in someone, I never tell anyone. The only way they would find out is if they see us out in public together when/if we got together.
I would not tell her anything else about this guy and just do what you do. Try to avoid getting reassurance and just handle it on your own.
Oh no, I was not relying on her to reconnect with him. I was just confessing my interest un him, but in no way was I expecting her to get him and I to talk. I know she won't help.
Okay...either way, you know (or feel) she is trying to "come between" you, so why are you mentioning any of this to her? Indeed, why are you friends at all with her?
Contact this guy yourself. Don't worry about what she's doing. He's not some mindless robot (I'm assuming) who can be led without giving a second thought to what he actually wants. If he likes you, he'll respond to you. If he likes her, he'll respond to her.
I'm having a hard time wrapping my head around why you keep specifically seeking her out when you feel this person is someone who literally would try to "grab" a guy out from under you or whatever. (That sounds very middle school but from an adult it's worse because it's just plain odd.) You sought her out specifically to tell her you were interested in seeing this guy soon. Why? From her side, she's apparently being oddly regressed, and from your side, you're going back again and again to someone who is being oddly regressed.
I shouldn't have brought him up. I was actually hesitant but I didn't listen to myself. I knew she'd act like this. I think I'm going to cease all communication with her. People like that are not friends. They cannot be trusted.
Last year, I worked with a guy who had a crush on me and she knew I liked him too. I was way too nervous and shy around him, so I always acted defensive towards him despite his best efforts to get me to be more friendly. Every time he'd want me to go out for a drink with his friends, this girl would always find a way to prevent me from going. She would tell me she'd try to get him and I to talk, but whenever he tried to make a move, she would pull me away from him.
I didn't think much of it at the time because we worked together and I couldn't date him because of that. She claimed she didn't fancy him (I know he doesn't fancy her, but he likes her as a buddy).
1. You are your worst enemy. You like this guy and then acted defensive. THAT is your problem.
2. I am guessing this other girl is outgoing and social with 2000 friends. Anyway, you expected her to make up for your awkwardness by helping you and then blame her when it didn't work out.
3. You need to stop playing the victim and take responsibility for you. Figure out why you are awkward and defensive when you like someone and work on your social skills. Learn how to seek out your romantic interests without playing high school by using other people to get close to people you like.
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Anyway, you expected her to make up for your awkwardness by helping you and then blame her when it didn't work out.