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Our mom was pretty much the social "glue" who kept tabs on family and everyone informed. Once she passed, the get togethers and such ceased. For the younger generation, Facebook appears to perform that role.
Mrs. Chow's mom is pretty much the social glue as you put it in our extended family, she's 80 now and getting up there. I doubt once she passes we'll do a whole lot together, IDK, we'll see. Mrs. Chow dreads the family get together probably more than I do, but I could do without them myself. I'm turning into a hermit as I get older anyway, so there's that too.
Facebook from what I've heard over the years is also responsible for a lot of HS reunions having less and less turn out as people are connecting more through FB and the trend of reunions having lower turn out it probably most likely due to FB.
Whatever, I'll never go to reunions anyways, but that's another thread.
*inspired by the fact that tomorrow afternoon there's a family gathering at my uncle's house in honor of my grandfather's birthday*
Does it make me a horrible person that I have a "meh" attitude when it comes to attending family gatherings? It's not that I don't love my extended family members or that I hate being around them, but as an example - my three s are all much younger, and we've never had a close connection because we've always been at different stages in life and have completely different interests/life experiences. (two of them are technically young enough to be my kids)
There was also the fact that for a long time, the main thing my extended family members seemed interested in talking to/asking me about was my job at the library. Which would get boring really quickly......made me feel like they thought I had no life or interests outside of work.
Well, you could be in my shoes - no family members left alive. Not feeling sorry for myself, but at this stage of my life, a family member or two would be of comfort.
*inspired by the fact that tomorrow afternoon there's a family gathering at my uncle's house in honor of my grandfather's birthday*
Does it make me a horrible person that I have a "meh" attitude when it comes to attending family gatherings? It's not that I don't love my extended family members or that I hate being around them, but as an example - my three s are all much younger, and we've never had a close connection because we've always been at different stages in life and have completely different interests/life experiences. (two of them are technically young enough to be my kids)
There was also the fact that for a long time, the main thing my extended family members seemed interested in talking to/asking me about was my job at the library. Which would get boring really quickly......made me feel like they thought I had no life or interests outside of work.
I don't like family gatherings either. It's not that I dislike my relatives and I do enjoy seeing some of them, but I don't have much in common with most of them. I see my parents often, but I only see everyone else a few times per year. My grandmother just passed away so after the funeral, I probably won't be seeing a lot of the relatives on that side of the family anymore since the gatherings always took place at my grandmother's house. I still have one living grandmother though, so that means I'll have to continue going to family gatherings.
When my grandmother was still alive, we would go to her house for her birthday. I have never been close to any of my cousins and as we got older, it was always a little awkward sitting around the table with nothing to say. But I still went to see my grandma.
We are really not close to any of our cousins so I am always "meh" about family gatherings. Nowadays they rarely ever happen.
Quote:
Originally Posted by ylisa7
I hear you about family gatherings. My DH's "big" family is all in NY, we are in TN and FL. I am so thankful we only go up once a year. We love to see all of them and love to leave all of them. They have way too many parties and get togethers and they are quite boring. It's the same old same old as their lives just don't change at all. Anyway…we do make our yearly appearance but I imagine once my DH's parents are gone we will stop.
My husband's family is like this, though over the years due to family drama and other things, they've really cut back on the parties. There used to be a party for everything and everyone. And it would be the same things talked about at every party. There would also be so much focus on the kids to the point where we would need to take a walk. "OMG, did you see Johnny do that? Look at that! Johnny, play the piano. Oh do you want to see this video of Johnny?"
Yes, I feel "meh" about family gatherings. I feel fine with going to my parents' house to see them & my siblings, but when it comes to seeing extended family, it's another story. Same feeling with my husband's side...whether it's just my FIL & his fiance or his father's extended family.
The thing with my family is, most of my cousins are older, and my older sister now has a toddler. I feel like an outcast since I don't have children yet. So they all stand around with their little kids, chatting about this & that with the kids, and I do try to participate by playing with the kids, or perhaps making jokes or asking questions, but at the end of the day I'm just not a part of that "club" yet.
On my husband's side, his dad isn't really blood..he's more of a stepdad. His dad is very close with his 2 sisters and they have kids of their own. Any time we go to one of their parties, they really don't treat my husband like family. We don't even get invites to every gathering (which I don't mind, but it bothers my husband). So yeah I'd rather just not go.
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. They have way too many parties and get togethers and they are quite boring. It's the same old same old as their lives just don't change at all. Anyway…we do make our yearly appearance but I imagine once my DH's parents are gone we will stop.
