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I'm in a somewhat similar boat with a roommate sneaking out to turn the heat down (and it's already really low!) despite being told multiple times that the other two bedrooms are much colder than hers. She tries to argue that since I make more money than her, I should pay much more. Um, no. And remember, the heat has to stay on in the winter as a baseline just to keep the pipes from freezing (at least where I live). Roommates don't get to opt out of that!
What I do in the summer is discount electricity for roommates who don't have window A/C units by $20. That seems fair. I would never agree to taking on half the cost.
As far as the kitchen, that's been an issue in my house too. My roommate isn't as bad natured as yours, just selfish and clueless that when she starts cooking at 8PM (after she's been home since 5:30 - I don't even get home until 7:30!) and cooks until 11 that she's not only blocking out everyone else's kitchen usage, but she's also keeping us up because of the noise. After speaking to her about it and a few times going to make food while she was in the room, making her consider how her actions impact others, it's gotten better. Not perfect, but better.
Immediately call a house meeting to discuss the issues and suggest resolutions, set house rules. If nothing improves to your satisfaction within the next 16 days.
A. Continue with the status quo
or
B. Take the out you're being offered, and give notice on December 31st that you will be vacating
I'm not moving out. You do realize there's a lot that comes into it? That's not the issue at all.
Also, what he did. I left my shoes in the hallway (we don't have a shoe rack, but since they were wet, I didn't want to wet the entire hallway. So I left them at the entrance). This idiot took them and put them in front of my door. What now? I'm not allowed to leave my shoes in the hallway like most people do?
Mind you, we have one spare bathroom and no one can use it because he stores his bikes there. Yet, he's going to tell me my clean shoes bother him? Please.
Hence, I expect to be able to stay in the kitchen or rest in the living room whenever I please, but they're always there from 6pm until 11pm with no consideration for others. The fourth tenant always has to cook at 11pm once they're back in their bedroom. Do you reckon it's fair? It certainly isn't that we have to arrange our schedule according to theirs.
This whole situation is all kinds of screwed up, but I wanted to address this part in particular.
You say they are in the common areas from 6p-11p. If you (or the 4th roommate) want to cook during that time, go out there and start cooking. If they're in the way, ask them politely to move. If you want to watch TV or whatever, tell them so. All you're doing by waiting until they're gone is showing them that you're going to let them do what they want.
You're griping about everything but you aren't willing to stand up to them and you aren't willing to move, so it seems like you're at an impasse. Not sure what other advice any of us can offer that would be helpful.
Also, what he did. I left my shoes in the hallway (we don't have a shoe rack, but since they were wet, I didn't want to wet the entire hallway. So I left them at the entrance). This idiot took them and put them in front of my door. What now? I'm not allowed to leave my shoes in the hallway like most people do?
Mind you, we have one spare bathroom and no one can use it because he stores his bikes there. Yet, he's going to tell me my clean shoes bother him? Please.
I'm not moving out. You do realize there's a lot that comes into it? That's not the issue at all.
Also, what he did. I left my shoes in the hallway (we don't have a shoe rack, but since they were wet, I didn't want to wet the entire hallway. So I left them at the entrance). This idiot took them and put them in front of my door. What now? I'm not allowed to leave my shoes in the hallway like most people do?
Mind you, we have one spare bathroom and no one can use it because he stores his bikes there. Yet, he's going to tell me my clean shoes bother him? Please.
So, discuss. Ask if there's a policy about wet or muddy shoes--what to do upon entering the apt. Send a cc to all residents. If the "manager" doesn't want to have house meetings, this is how questions and issues will have to be addressed: via email, with cc's to all residents. If there's a policy about bringing/wearing wet/dirty shoes into the house, everyone should know, so the cc's to everyone is an appropriate way to handle it.
In this way, by making your questions and concerns "public", and by assuming they're concerns that pertain to everyone, you can't let every little gesture devolve into personal sniping and tension. Just be above-board with this kind of thing, and treat it like an inquiry on behalf of everyone as to the "house rules".
Any petty thing like that can be treated similarly. "Oh, hi, it's me again. I noticed someone moved my stuff from the kitchen. Is it not ok to ____________? If there are rules regarding X, could you let the rest of us know? Thanks. Cheers." This serves the dual purpose of letting the other tenant know what rules/expectations there are, elevating what might be petty sniping or harassment to the level of legit concern about potential "house" policy, and also letting everyone know how petty or backhanded or whatever the "manager" is being; it blows his cover, which may serve to subtly pressure him into knocking that kind of behavior off in the future.
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