Issues with Sister In Law and our New Home

[bwisita]

Originally Posted by croth82

My wife and I recently purchased a home, and what should be one of the most fun and exciting times in our lives has not been for me due to my sister in law. Upon learning about us purchasing the house she asked my wife (but not me) if she could use the home to get ready the day of her wedding and her 30th birthday (we share the same birthday). I was a little taken back by this since we haven’t even moved in yet, and she already has two events planned for our home. My wife said yes to both without even consulting me which angered me even more since it is my house also. I fear a lot of the people that would be at both events are people that neither one of us know very well if at all. I’m also sure we would be assuming most if not all of the costs for both of the events since her sister still owes her $500 that she has made no effort to pay back in the past year. When I confront my wife about this she makes me out to be the bad guy in all this and asks why I hate her sister. I do not hate her, but I consider this wrong on so many levels. She even had the nerve when she first visited the house to walk in and state that this was a great place for her 30th birthday. Keep in mind we share the same birthday and when she first asked to have her birthday at the house she proposed a joint birthday party for the both of us. However, why should I even be acknowledged it’s only my house after all. I fear this is only going to get worse since she plans to raise a family in an apartment for the foreseeable future so I can only imagine how many more times she is going to do this to us. Can you please give me advice on how to handle this situation and let me know if I'm overreacting?

Thanks
Chris

Pfft, try my bro in law asking my husband if he can live (!) with us in the new house without even moving on it yet. Yes my husband did not consult me in it too he just told me he will move in with us. FML! Needless to say it was the worst first year of my life in the new house. He is gone now but oh, he has the key to our house so he can just barge in ANYtime he freaking wants. Wait! there's more! he had the nerve to remove the security in the door that says it is open when you open it. Ugh. I loathe him and yeah, I sympathize with you! 100000000000000%

[Ruth4Truth]

Originally Posted by bwisita

Pfft, try my bro in law asking my husband if he can live (!) with us in the new house without even moving on it yet. Yes my husband did not consult me in it too he just told me he will move in with us. FML! Needless to say it was the worst first year of my life in the new house. He is gone now but oh, he has the key to our house so he can just barge in ANYtime he freaking wants. Wait! there's more! he had the nerve to remove the security in the door that says it is open when you open it. Ugh. I loathe him and yeah, I sympathize with you! 100000000000000%

What?! Why would he do that? That's vandalism. And why does he still have the key? Wow--issues! Good luck.

[bwisita]

Originally Posted by Ruth4Truth

What?! Why would he do that? That's vandalism. And why does he still have the key? Wow--issues! Good luck.

Because he is entitled and my husband lets him get away with it. I had given him silent treatment, up to now, the first week he was living with us coz he told me not to scream at him, LOL. I just have a tendency to talk loud when excited. I used to have good relationship with him, not anymore! He also does not remove his shoes when he goes in our house but we do!

About the security. It actually was the former owner's you know how when you open the door, you will hear a 'back door open'? I actually liked that feature and when I biatched to my husband about it, he said he will remove it anyway himself, ugh. He always sticks up for him coz 'they have been through a lot together'. I'm in no win situation. At least he does not live here anymore. And don't barge into our house as much unlike before which was EVERYDAY!

My father actually is given a key to all my sister's and bro's house. I think I'm the only one who did not give him a key to my house. He lives far anyway.

[2002 Subaru]

Originally Posted by croth82

See other posts I wrote where I said my SIL getting ready was not that big of a deal it was more the birthday. I only mentioned it because we have not even moved in and she already is planning not one but two events. The problem is my SIL wants to view this home like it is her own. Hell when my wife and I were getting married every time we saw or talked about our wedding she would constantly turn it around and talk about her own wedding when she wasn't even engaged at the time. The point is everything has to be about the SIL and it's a big giant game of her trying to one up her sister. I have a brother and we don't have this sort of sibling rivalry and we are just happy for one another when the other does something like gett married or gets a house. I even asked my wife when we have to move is your sister going to help. I can almost guarantee you that she will be no where to be found when that day comes.

I can guarantee you the sister-in-law is envious as hell of her sister's new house and will more than likely 'accidentally' break something or spill/drop something in said house.
Let them do the wedding stuff at the house, but you'd better put your foot down about having her party there ... It sounds like your wife is on board about the new house being "party time." I doubt her sister 'bullied' her.
You and SIL share a birthday? The only way I'd have a dual party is if it were family only - don't allow her friends who are strangers to you into your home. SIL sounds like a pig who thinks she's entitled to sh*t up your house ...