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Made a new friend at work recently and we've been hitting it off. The problem is her guy best friend we work with doesn't like me and it's obvious. Should I just let the friendship go or only plan on hanging out with her outside of work when he's not around? I'm fed up and I don't feel it's in my place to bring this up to her, as it seems whiny, and he's known her longer so she's likely to side with him.
Background: I've been very friendly and nice to him since I've met him; even going out of my way to try to establish a connection since he is ALWAYS with her- basically attached to her hip. But he is consistently snooty, rude, ignoring, forgetting my name, or asking downright rude questions. In front of her, he is cordial so she doesn't see it, but when she's gone he's actually kind of a monster. Is he jealous? wtf?
Personality: When I first met him I immediately knew he was gay, but through being around him have come to understand he's either in the closet or on the down low (he comes from a strict christian background). It's very obvious he's struggling with his sexuality, but Im wondering if this behavior is his way of coping? : I've been nothing but a sweetheart to him and even making sure I wasn't stepping on his toes by "taking his friend away" from him, but he's been a down right bully. I'm fed up.
Yes, he's jealous and he's acting like a brat. Do not continue to give him leeway and put him in his place if you have to. People like this won't stop until you create boundaries for them.
Yes, he's jealous and he's acting like a brat. Do not continue to give him leeway and put him in his place if you have to. People like this won't stop until you create boundaries for them.
thanks for confirming it @stava ! Im not sure I care enough about him or her to put up with that kind of shenanigans. Friendships are hard enough already, but throwing a confused man-child like him into the situation feels tiresome.
Why would you need to be around him alone? You're friends with her, not him. You said he is nice to you when in front of her so make "in front of her" the only time he is around you.
Made a new friend at work recently and we've been hitting it off. The problem is her guy best friend we work with doesn't like me and it's obvious. Should I just let the friendship go or only plan on hanging out with her outside of work when he's not around? I'm fed up and I don't feel it's in my place to bring this up to her, as it seems whiny, and he's known her longer so she's likely to side with him.
Background: I've been very friendly and nice to him since I've met him; even going out of my way to try to establish a connection since he is ALWAYS with her- basically attached to her hip. But he is consistently snooty, rude, ignoring, forgetting my name, or asking downright rude questions. In front of her, he is cordial so she doesn't see it, but when she's gone he's actually kind of a monster. Is he jealous? wtf?
Personality: When I first met him I immediately knew he was gay, but through being around him have come to understand he's either in the closet or on the down low (he comes from a strict christian background). It's very obvious he's struggling with his sexuality, but Im wondering if this behavior is his way of coping? : I've been nothing but a sweetheart to him and even making sure I wasn't stepping on his toes by "taking his friend away" from him, but he's been a down right bully. I'm fed up.
I have to be honest, if you didn't say this was at work, I would swear this was high school. If you can't stand up for yourself as a fully grown adult and can not deal with a "bully" as an adult you have some issues that need to be worked through.
Say something to her, him, whoever, but for god's sake have some self respect for yourself and don't allow yourself to be treated like this.
Yes, he's jealous and he's acting like a brat. Do not continue to give him leeway and put him in his place if you have to. People like this won't stop until you create boundaries for them.
This, this THIS. the more you allow this idiot to disrespect you, the more he'll do it. Not that you should even care, but imagine what he says to her in your absence.
Do not hesitate to put him in his place, harshly, if necessary. Almost wish I could do it for you.
Why are you making friends at work? I go to my job to work, not socialize. I don't understand how anyone can get any work done if they're screwing around trying to be friends with their co-workers.
Here's how i confronted my bully at work because i got totally fed up with her attitude.
Next time he is mean let him know it's a two way street and that if you are mean to him he wouldn't put up with it so why should you?
Thats exactly what i did and the bullying stopped. What difference will it make if you stick up for yourself?
YOU BACK A ***** INTO A CORNER IT'S GONNA EVENTUALLY BITE
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