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Then absent yourself from the friendship. When she finally asks you why, simply say, "You seem to enjoy saying hurtful things and I just don't need that in my life. When you're ready to be nice to me again, let me know."
Yes, I think distance is best. I will not bring it up and just distance myself.
Fortunately, I don't have friends that do that... If one of my close friends did, I think it would be appropriate to sit her down and tell her how it makes you feel. If it strains the friendship, then they never thought of you as a close friend to begin with.
Maybe she thinks that your friendship is strong enough and you aren't sensitive enough to realize that it risks the friendship. Some people cop it off as "it is who I am.. take it or leave it"; I tend to leave my self vulnerable to people that I consider close.... so in this scenario, I'd probably leave the friendship.
Why continue to hang out with this person? Is she on the front line of your social circle or something? I'd say something like "ahhh.......you can dish it but you can't take it?"
I know someone like this. This individual escalates if they don't get the attention they crave, the worst being a catty email message directed to me but copied to other friends, sent the morning my best friend died, very critical of my response to my friend's death and my actions during my friend's final illness. It was literally the last straw.
I called them on this highly inappropriate behavior; they escalated, and that's why I have no contact, personal or online with them, and barely acknowledge them when encountered in a group now. I should have done it long before.
This ugly, critical and judgmental behavior seems to be rooted in personal insecurity, feeling threatened by others' friendships or other relationships, appearances, possessions, homes, talents or abilities or status, and the need to be first or best or smartest or superior in all things. It has become more obvious over the years and has driven away people who would otherwise be friends, as no one wants to be someone else's personal punching bag.
29 years old female friend keeps for some weeks throwing jabs and snippy comments out of nowhere at me. Harmless things I say, like, "Oh, I didn't know that happened," and she snaps back, "Because you don't listen ever to what I say!" in aggressive tones.
Well ... do you listen to what she says? Maybe she's frustrated with you for some reason. Why do you assume it's about weight?
Yes, I think distance is best. I will not bring it up and just distance myself.
Quote:
Originally Posted by CraigCreek
I know someone like this. This individual escalates if they don't get the attention they crave, the worst being a catty email message directed to me but copied to other friends, sent the morning my best friend died, very critical of my response to my friend's death and my actions during my friend's final illness. It was literally the last straw.
I called them on this highly inappropriate behavior; they escalated, and that's why I have no contact, personal or online with them, and barely acknowledge them when encountered in a group now. I should have done it long before.
This ugly, critical and judgmental behavior seems to be rooted in personal insecurity, feeling threatened by others' friendships or other relationships, appearances, possessions, homes, talents or abilities or status, and the need to be first or best or smartest or superior in all things. It has become more obvious over the years and has driven away people who would otherwise be friends, as no one wants to be someone else's personal punching bag.
Who needs this kind of thing?? Not me.
Quote:
Originally Posted by blueherons
If you notice her weight, she's noticed you've noticed.
A good, "Would you knock it off with the passive aggressiveness" followed by a cocktail will do the trick. Don't make a federal case of it, don't call a summit meeting to discuss it (Almost always a stupid idea), but rather just speak your piece in one sentence and change the subject.
This. If she still continues, I would distance myself and if asked the reason, tell her the truth. Also, since you're not in a her brain, you don't know the reason for her attitude with you. It might not just be that shes "jealous" of you...
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