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Old 10-30-2017, 10:15 PM
 
Location: Under the Milky Way
1,295 posts, read 1,183,960 times
Reputation: 5288

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If she does it again, while she is fooling with her phone excuse yourself "to the ladies' room." Then just leave. Before you drive off, send her a text: BYE!

 
Old 10-30-2017, 10:18 PM
 
8,583 posts, read 16,014,164 times
Reputation: 11355
Quote:
Originally Posted by Gfab1 View Post
If she does it again, while she is fooling with her phone, get up and leave. Then before you drive off, send her a text: BYE!
haha, good one.
 
Old 10-30-2017, 10:22 PM
 
8,583 posts, read 16,014,164 times
Reputation: 11355
Quote:
Originally Posted by stan4 View Post
I think it's funny you keep hanging out with this boorish person.

Why do you do it?

There's literally zero reason to keep her in your life...she promise you a kidney or something?
You can't know the dynamics of a friendship from one forum post.

But I am reconsidering the friendship, this isn't the only thing that has revealed a selfishness on her part.
 
Old 10-30-2017, 10:24 PM
 
Location: Texas
44,259 posts, read 64,375,553 times
Reputation: 73937
Quote:
Originally Posted by kelly237 View Post
You can't know the dynamics of a friendship from one forum post.

But I am reconsidering the friendship, this isn't the only thing that has revealed a selfishness on her part.
I don't have to know the dynamics.
If I had a friend who did that, regardless of who she was or how long I'd known her, she'd be to the curb.

None of my friends are complete boors.
 
Old 10-31-2017, 01:04 AM
 
Location: Las Vegas
775 posts, read 776,559 times
Reputation: 1586
Why does anyone go to dinner and then sit and do that?
 
Old 10-31-2017, 01:59 AM
 
Location: Glasgow Scotland
18,528 posts, read 18,757,013 times
Reputation: 28783
I met an online friend about 14 years ago... we came from the same city although she had moved away to Wales... she seemed a bit needy but nice and told me she had a cancer..so we swapped phone numbers....BIG BIG MISTAKE...at first it was fun.. we laughed a lot and I got to know her and her husband, we even shared gifts at Christmas and Birthdays.... but she was a very domineering character and Im quite soft.... she would never phone me during the day as she took her dogs to the beach and had her manicures done... and as she had money she would fly over to Dublin to have her hair done every few weeks as her hairdresser moved a few years before... so they woman had a busy day time life.. and I was tucked away for her night time chats.... now they usually started around nine when shed have some wine and chilled out... but the calls got longer and longer as she became more intoxicated and my phone receiver would be stuck to my ear.. no joke......... it was..... Id try in a nice way to tell her I had visitors or I was watching a movie on TV and her comments would go like this........ "oh your son and his family are in... put him on I want to say hello, or she d ask to talk to the kids.. or she would ask what movie I was watching , and comment that she hated films and would gab all the way through it.... these calls could last up to two hours until she was so tired or drunk that she would say goodnight...........I know .. I shouldnt have took this for so long as it went on for about four years..... but it got worse.... she started calling at exactly 5 15 or a little later every night knowing thats when my hubby got home from work...........I was actually working around her calls. making sure the dinner was on and ready earlier than needed...my husband would come in and start talking and Id tell her he d just come home from work and she d say PUT HIM ON.. I want to say hello..........but she would still gab for about an hour then say she had dinner to prepare and would call back later , it got so bad that one night when she called I said to her that I had a full house with family and couldnt talk and this was the turning point for me........... she shouted down the phone....."cant they leave you alone.. you have kids all day to mind for them,then they come in at nights too... do you never get time to yourself"...........I even had to laugh , even with the stress this women was causing me I saw the irony ....I said sorry..... I really have to go and put the phone down...... The next day when I had time to think I cowardly emailed her and said ...Mags if you want to talk can you please phone during the day and not at night.... Im too exhausted and have other things to do.............. she wrote back....Im sad our friendship is over....... I honestly thought she would jump in a plane and come to my door.... I was terrified.. I know I should have nipped it in the bud earlier, but with her illness she told me about I thought the woman only had a short time to live and felt for her.............she seemed lonely and didnt speak to any of her four sisters or brother for some reason... and had found this daft soft woman on the other end of a phone.... Forgot to tell you this part.............She sent me her old mobile phone so that she could get in touch with me if I was out................hahaha Im laughing here typing this... as Id forgotten about that.. and you think you have problems hahahaha.
 
Old 10-31-2017, 02:18 AM
 
Location: on the wind
23,310 posts, read 18,852,325 times
Reputation: 75342
One of my relatives is just about permanently attached to her smart phone. She whips it out during a meal, right before we need to leave on errands or appointments, spends much of the day sitting around reading it. I remember her starting work on it right in the middle of a meeting with a family attorney (that we were paying some God-awful amount of money per hour). I have told her point-blank how rude this is and how much of other people's time it wastes. She gets defensive of course. I now don't tolerate it. If she's on the phone when its time for some event she will get one warning. If it doesn't have any effect, she gets left behind...alone with her little device with no one to wait on her.
 
Old 10-31-2017, 03:24 AM
 
Location: Las Vegas, NV.
1,047 posts, read 726,727 times
Reputation: 1131
Default reply

I feel texting is only ok to do with somebody you live w either significant other or best friend/roommate. Meaning you see them daily so escaping to phone half of the time is fine. If this is a friend I am only seeing every few weeks it is terribly rude. I like people to be really present. Or it is a waste of my time and highly insulting There is an addictive element here where in her mind she probably doesn't know she is being rude and thinks you are old fashioned. She is in the wrong.
 
Old 10-31-2017, 03:26 AM
 
Location: Here and now.
11,904 posts, read 5,589,470 times
Reputation: 12963
Quote:
Originally Posted by Diana Holbrook View Post
It's really freeing to NOT try to control other people. Remember, she's not your child and you're not dating her. Enjoy your day.
I don't think the OP is trying to be controlling. She's just asking for a bit of consideration. It shouldn't be too much to ask someone to cut the cord for the duration of a meal.

I know people who do this, and it is so annoying. The worst is when they start telling me what the texts say, or what they are reading on Facebook. Newsflash: I. Do. Not. Care. I think next time I make dinner plans with these folks, I will take a book, and read during the whole meal.
 
Old 10-31-2017, 03:46 AM
 
Location: Las Vegas, NV.
1,047 posts, read 726,727 times
Reputation: 1131
What killed me was a first lunch with a long lost relative and his wife I had not seen since a child and I have VERY little blood relatives around. It hurt me deeply. The dismissive attitude they both had. Although they were considerably older, I said please don't text now, during our meal. It meant nothing for them to meet me and the lunch meant the world to me.
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