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Your parents are enablers. I know parents like this. The only thing you can control is your own life, but I would recommend in the future keeping you financial business and net worth to yourself. It may not matter right now, but mom and dad won't always be there and then what? I have two older siblings that are not living with mom and dad, but still get financial support from them. We are all in our 50's. They will always be your family, but don't be surprised if you find later on that you have to keep your distance.
I was 30 and lived with my parents for a year between middle 2016 and last year I was about to lose my job in another state, had lived out of state for basically the five years prior to that, and before leaving the state in 2012, lived with my girlfriend at the time. I have a good job here, but finances were behind the eight ball when I came back due to my job being shaky out of state.
I paid a third of the mortgage and utilities, bought two new appliances and flooring for the laundry, and got most of the groceries, did virtually all of the laundry and cleaning, etc. At the time, dad was working first shift in a call center. They only made $17-$18/hr each. Not super tight, but there wasn't much slack in the budget.
My mom has health issues, but is also extremely lazy and will barely even clean out of the cat's litterbox by herself. She never cleans or does laundry during the week, so with him working 4x10 on second shift and me no longer there, the house is a total wreck by Friday with four cats there too. I'll go by during the week to check on her and my grandmother, who lives about a mile from my parents.
The first thing that I would say is that 'independence' is overrated. When you're 38 years old, nobody is going to care whether you lived in your own apartment or with your parents when you were 27. I mean, yea its worth "Look at me, I'm supporting myself. I'm cooler than somebody who doesn't" but that ain't too much.
That said, living on your own (or with roommates) supports a certain lifestyle that I was able to live in my 20s to mid 30s. Namely, drinking a lot, coming home all hours, sleeping in, having control over the TV, and being able to have sex (or watch porn at loud levels) in the comfort of my own home.
Those are all things that would be impossible to inconvenient if I lived with my parents.
Now, if you don't do any of those things, then living with your parents is essentially the same.
This right here.
Big whoop about not living at home unless you own a house.
And those who will look down on you can easily be ignored. The home body can still led a great quality of life. That's what it's all about in the end anyway.
Pretty sure all but the 33 year old sis will move out eventually as well.
Big sis story looks to be a stay in the house forever though. That's another story. If it were free I'd say therapy would be great to address that depression..though some will just be depressed for life, or at least feel the constant ennui. Just a guess she's depressed...could be wrong. All comes down to money in the end anyway. Give each of em 1 million like some rich family and nobody would blink about their situation.
Last edited by startingfromscratchagain; 01-30-2018 at 08:48 AM..
I'm 20 and the youngest of four. I still live at home because I'm in school, and it's the most financially feasible option. Once I graduate and start my career, I'll be looking towards moving out. However, all my siblings are over 25 and they still live at home. My youngest sister is 27, my brother is 28, and my oldest sister is 33. They're not in school. I'm the only person in my immediate family that has gone to college. My youngest sister and my brother both work and have their own vehicles, but they still live at home. My oldest sister doesn't work and she doesn't have a car, and she still lives at home.
I would just like to get an outside opinion on this. Do you guys think it's weird to still live at home at those ages? Why or why not?
Who cares? I think it would be great if more families did this, especially the ones with huge homes that ten people could live in comfortably. We can't keep building more and more houses for one or two people to live in.
I'm in my 40s and if I could live at home with the 'rents, I totally would!
Who cares? I think it would be great if more families did this, especially the ones with huge homes that ten people could live in comfortably. We can't keep building more and more houses for one or two people to live in.
Used to be, most people lived with their parents until marriage. The whole family contributed to the household. If the house was big enough, they brought their spouses to live there, too. This is still common in Europe.
Moving out before marriage is a pretty new way of life, just in the last century, and mostly in America.
Is there something wrong with either tradition? I dont' think so.
I think everyone should contribute to the household, but otherwise it makes sense not to have separate households.
On the other hand, if you have a horrible parent (yeah, I'm talking about you, mom), it's never too early to get out.
Actually, I was the first person to break that cycle in my family. My mother and all my aunties lived with grandparents until they married (or died, in one case). I moved out and got my own apartment at 22 about a year after I graduated.
My cousins moved out of their parents' houses after I did, but that was to shack up with their significant others.
I still can't wrap my head around the adult couple who are in a relationship and are raising a child together, but each still lives with their respective parents.<bleep> Is this a religious cult of some kind?
Last edited by Miss Blue; 01-31-2018 at 06:30 AM..
Why doesn't your 33 year old sister work? Disabled? Lazy?
Some adult kids stay at home to save money to buy a house....is this what your other siblings are doing...this saving plan should take 1 to 3 years for a down payment on a starter home in most cases.
If not, do they pay rent to your parents??
What are their reasons for living at home?
I bought my first house @ 26 because I lived rent-free with my parents, allowing me to do so.
Why do you care? Is this impacting you in some way?
My 3 adult kids still live at home (19-23). They've all worked since they were 14 and go to school. They also pay all of their own expenses (car, insurance, phones) and contribute to household expenses. We have a cleaning chart and everybody does their share. I admit to doing most of the cooking, but I love to cook. They do clean up after me in the kitchen. We take turns doing laundry, etc. This is a total win-win for us.
My expenses are lowered, we are all able to save money (they have very healthy savings and investment accounts) and we genuinely get along and like each other. Girls are not allowed to sleep over. They do have girlfriends, but I don't know anything about their love life. Thank goodness. They have their own lives.
Overall, I'd say we've shifted into adult relationships and I like it. Despite my kids living with me, they seem to be far more independent than some of my friends' kids. They are definitely more financially savvy.
All well and good, but your situation isn't analogous in any way to the one described by the OP. No one is questioning young adults living at home with their parents, but the OP's siblings are late 20s to early 30s. That's quite a difference to your situation. Put it this way, how would you feel 10 years from now if all your children, now 29-33, are still single and still living at home, not having progressed in any way toward living an independent life?
I personally know two siblings that are in their early 70s that still live in the bedrooms that they had as children (their parents died years ago). While they did have jobs, neither of them married, or even dated. It is pretty sad. That could happen to your siblings.
Maybe they are happy.
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