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You wonder if I am a troll. Did you happen to see I have been on here since 2007? This is really happening and it is terrible.
Yes, she did see that, which is why she said
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I would wonder if the OP is even real or this was just a troll wondering how many people will try to solve this problemif they hadn't been here awhile.
Sure, poor sentence structure, but she's basically saying "if he weren't a longtime poster, I'd wonder if he's a troll."
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Originally Posted by Jay F
Thanks for all the response. I will try to get the spine to block her but am worried about retaliation. I don't think she knows where I live but she obviously knows where I work.
You can either stay in the relationship and wonder if she's going to snap and do something batpoop crazy, or you can cut off contact completely and wonder if she's going to snap and do something batpoop crazy. Either way, you're going to have to worry about her doing something batpoop crazy, so you might as well take the opportunity to cut and run.
You're welcome. Hopefully the OP follows through on it and can take advantage of the professional advice he certainly needs as he's in a frightening and dangerous position now.
I'm posting it one more time in the hopes the OP won't miss it.
Location: Finally the house is done and we are in Port St. Lucie!
3,487 posts, read 3,340,243 times
Reputation: 9913
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Originally Posted by Jay F
You wonder if I am a troll. Did you happen to see I have been on here since 2007? This is really happening and it is terrible.
Thanks for all the response. I will try to get the spine to block her but am worried about retaliation. I don't think she knows where I live but she obviously knows where I work.
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Originally Posted by kiacook
She's going to either keep escalating if you don't cut her off or possibly retaliate if you do. You can't control what she does. Appeasement NEVER works. All you can do is document and try to protect yourself.
^^^^ this.
Just be aware of your surroundings. If she comes to your work, let the head honchos deal with her. I would alert them to the possibility of her showing up.
If she makes any threats against you, document them and contact the police. Block her ASAP. Do not contact her and don't let her contact you.
Write all this down, what has been happening, and date it. Keep adding to it if needed as in she continues to harass you. A journal of sorts.
If she has sent emails, keep them, print them out and add to your pile of documentation. Put the emails in a folder on your computer that way you don't have to see them every time you check email.
Above all else, keep a watch out for her. If you see her, go the other way.
Until she makes a threat, police can't really help. They can keep reports if you tell them what's going on.
So, you continued dating her knowing she had a boyfriend, and you waited patiently for her to get out of jail after she tried to murder an old lady "Too nice" is not the words I would use to describe what you are.
There is no hope for you. You two should just go ahead and get married.
I take it this was your first time having a woman show interest in you?
Listen: you need to disable your FB profile for a while and not interact with anyone on social media. Because they are using social media as an outlet to harass people. Disappear on FB, and they'll find someone else to bother.
If you are in a situation in life where you are able to MOVE easily (renting an apartment), then do so and change all your phone numbers.
This person has latched on to you and wants to drag you into her crazy drama-filled life. Don't provide an outlet for that, just disappear on her. She will move on to another victim when it becomes too burdensome to keep tracking you down.
You wonder if I am a troll. Did you happen to see I have been on here since 2007? This is really happening and it is terrible.
Thanks for all the response. I will try to get the spine to block her but am worried about retaliation. I don't think she knows where I live but she obviously knows where I work.
A few things here...
In this instance, there IS no "try". You have no direct choice but to block her and cease all contact, be it in physical person, telephonic, email and social media. In essence, she has retaliated in a psychological way by tormenting and messaging you, especially under false pretenses using another personna. Additionally, the progressive and incremental ways she has unraveled during her various meetings with you over time is disturbing.
As another poster mentioned, you don't have to be an expert to locate someone these, especially their place of residence. You would be shocked at what a simple Google search will reveal about yourself and where you live now and your previous residences. Try it. Pre-internet, it was almost impossible to find where someone who is a stranger to you lived unless you had access to skip-tracing and other restricted commercial databases OR you were slick enough to follow them home without detection. You could "hide" by having an unlisted phone number but those days are over. Virtually anyone can be found these days and you don't have to fork out cash to do it. A few keystrokes can reveal a lot and you don't have to be a search expert.
If she knows where you work which is scary enough, she knows where you live..She may have followed you home already. Notify your boss or HR official of the situation and be honest. I know this is probably not the best route to take as your higher-ups may see this as un-needed drama, but at this point, a good boss will see this as proactive measure on your part, especially if she was dismissed for nefarious reasons. Protection of the workplace should be his mindset here.
Keep ALL FB, Text messages and other electronic correspondence you get from her, no matter if it is a single word, a short sentence or lengthy diatribe. Log all calls, dates and times. DO NOT delete anything no matter how unpleasant the content is. Print several copies of each and lock them up in remote locations away from your residence such as a safe deposit box, put a set of them with a trusted family member and lock up a set at work. Of course, save and create a folder on your computer but I myself like hard, physical copies of things. You will need this as evidence should this enter into a legal arena. DO NOT contact her any further at this point because someone this crazy and vindictive can fabricate any kind of story and retaining this evidence will work favorably in your defense.
Yes, she has a boyfriend but at this point, what's done is done. Your top priority is to protect yourself, your family, your job and property.
I would be afraid of retaliation, she sounds off her rocker. Do you know any males who are awful people, but attractive enough to possibly interest her? If so, introduce them and hope her focus shifts and she forgets about you.
This started with a Facebook friend request from a former co-worker. I didn't know her all that well but accepted. She messaged me and told me how she secretly crushed on me, thought I was handome etc. All very flattering.
Oh, that's wonderful....
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She said she had a boyfriend.
Oh....
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She insisted we should have lunch and we can be friends.
"Friends"
(I'm doing that Dr. Evil hand-quote gesture)
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Through the months I got to know her better and learned some disturbing things about her.
She was tipping you off when she's requesting and messaging you about how she likes you but she has a boyfriend.
Nothing good comes out of this. Ever.
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What should I do?
Unfriend, block, get a new account if you need to.
If you're looking for a silver lining, at least she didn't pull this crap when you worked with her.
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