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So this statement that you wrote above is *not* cutting her off
*Don’t initiate contact and don’t be available if she initiates contact.*
I am confused, please clarify exactly what the difference is.
I think Spuggy is is advocating a "slow fade." If invited the OP simply declines; she does not ignore. That is what I am understanding from this thread.
I think Spuggy is is advocating a "slow fade." If invited the OP simply declines; she does not ignore. That is what I am understanding from this thread.
You are on a roller coaster ride. That's awful. I've been there too.
I know I've been in your shoes and would have wanted to just know that the friendship isn't working anymore.
But now that the shoe is on the other foot, it's hard saying it. And what do I say that isn't mean? I honestly don't like her and can't find anything good about her but I think it's because I just want her out of my life. So I don't want to be too mean and really hurt her unnecessarily. So ghosting seems a good option and then just ignoring her.
I just wish she would find another "best friend" and then I would be off the hook....LOL!!
Just start fading out of her life. Get busy and speak with her less and less. Don't make it uncomfortable
You've went 2 years without speaking already so this won't be a shock. Good luck
If you ghost on her, then you're being quite disrespectful. Even though you may not like her as much, she doesn't deserve to be disrespected like that, does she? You can take some people's advice on here and block her, ghost on her, or not even give her an explanation, but there's something called karma and would you want someone do that to you? How would you want things to be handled if you were inconveniencing someone? You got to think about that.
You can send them an email or text, but i think it's kinda disrespectful as well.
If I were you, the next time you talk to her or when she reaches out to you, just tell her that you noticed a change in her, for the worse. And that you feel like the friendship has become toxic. If you have been friends with her for 20+ years, it may be hard to get rid of someone so I think a natural drifting apart may be in order.
Have you ever "broken up" with a friend (someone you have known for years)?
I have this friend that I truly don't like. We have been friends for almost 20 yrs but we took breaks on occasion for a couple of years.
My main issue with her is that she is very needy and everything is about her and what she wants. I think she is a user and liar. I am only "friends" with her because I feel sorry for her. We used to trust each other and were quite close but that hasn't happened in a long time.
Would you:
1) ghost the person
2) send an email breaking up
3) talk on the phone and break up.
I don't want her in my life anymore. I wish her well and know she will be fine and find other friends. I just think that we need this closure so that we don't keep this dead friendship on life support any longer.
Thoughts?
Tell him/her straight up that this friendship isn't working anymore and give reasons why. If she gets upset, that's confirmation you're making the right decision.
Ghosting is definitely out. It's a crappy thing to do.
I would break up with the friend in person, or if I didn't think that would go well, I would send a letter or email. Explain that while you have enjoyed your friendship at times, you feel you have grown apart and don't feel you are compatible anymore.
At least this way, you are being straightforward and letting the person know where you stand.
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