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Go through the garbage at your local bank near the ATM and pick out half a dozen or so ATM receipts. Do not avoid the ripped up ones ... put the pieces together so you can read the balance on the receipt. I'll bet you results are like mine when I used to do this : not 1 in 10 people are going to have more than a few hundred dollars in the bank. Forget about emergency money of a $3000 or whatever. And forget about actually having built significant wealth(I've only seen that had like 70k or something).
I found these results were the same if I were in the hipster nabe or the "affluent suburb " with the good schools etc.
So why care about "norms" then?
Quote:
Originally Posted by TheShadow
You go through the trash at the ATM to compare your balance with others? Wow. Honestly can't imagine why the balances of complete strangers would interest anyone. Also, not helpful really if you're trying to compare, because people with bunches of money don't keep it in their checking account. They have savings accounts, CD's, 401k's, and brokerage accounts.
Yes. I laughed when I read that post. My husband and I don't have bunches of money, but we're comfortable. I think that right now there's $30 in the account that we use for daily money. Raise the Black Flag would be all high horse if he saw my receipt. But it's hardly even a start of our financial situation.
Which is a good example of how we can see a small snippet of another's life and not understand the whole person. Judging based on that snippet can often lead to judging incorrectly. Like the one fact that an older person lives at home. The friend in the OP sounds like he's maybe a bit stuck mentally, but there are so many possible reasons why someone might live with their parents that the whole story would be necessary to make any sort of judgement. If one felt compelled to judge in the first place.
Why would they be withdrawing from their checking account and not savings account?
Also why wouldn't they not have emergency money in the bank instead locking money in that is not liquid for years with a cd 401k stock acct ?
I dunno about others, but I do have liquid emergency money in the bank. Just not in the same account as our daily spending money. People can have more than one account. Only one shows up on the receipt.
Never leaving the home of one's parents will tend to stunt the emotional growth and life skills of the adult offspring.
And having the mother in the household do all or most of the food shopping, food preparation, cooking, cleaning of the dwelling, and laundry keeps an adult offspring from developing as much as he would otherwise. (it's usually a male who is having his mother do all of his housekeeping/cleaning/cooking tasks, although some women too) Strict gender based division of tasks is also not a positive thing to teach one's sons.
Adult offspring in their 30's, 40's, etc who have a failure to launch their own life often leaves them in a state of emotional and psychological dependence - while developing more levels and more skills toward being a more well-developed person may be stunted.
I also have a visceral feeling toward it, and tend to think it is pathetic.
Totally agree. This exactly describes the situation I referenced earlier, and my feelings as well.
As much as I'd like to entertain the "give them the benefit of the doubt, you don't know their circumstances, everyone might be perfectly content" POV, every adult child living with parent scenario that I've seen over the years has been some sort of dysfunctional failure-to-launch situation. So I remain skeptical.
I keep a few hundred bucks in the account that I actually withdraw cash from at an ATM. The rest of my money is elsewhere. But you won't find my receipt in a public trash receptacle, because I'm OCD like that.
I have a friend whom I have known since 1980. He is my age, 56, and still lives at home with his parents. He is intelligent, good looking and has a good job. He constantly states he can't find a good woman. I think to myself "Who the hell wants to date someone who is your age and still living at home in your child-hood bedroom??" Seriously?
He also states he hates the weather in this state (WI) and wants to live somewhere warm. Back about 10 years ago I got sick of him complaining so I said "Why the heck don't you just move??" He said "Well, the jobs don't pay well in Florida where I want to be". Now his excuse is his parents are "getting on in age and he is afraid they will die if he leaves".
His FB status is constantly (when it isn't summer around here) "XX days till summer and warm weather". Constantly. It's like a broken record. LOL
He has no kids, no big bills, etc etc.
Anybody else know someone like this? LOL
At that age, the death of his parents is a real impending possibility and serves as pretty much all of the excuse he needs to live at home.
The older you get, in general, the less reason there is to have your own place, per se.
I mean, when you're in your 20s and 30s, you want to party and stay up late and come home all hours, so that's not amenable to living with parents.
Some of my friends who have kids, have one parent living with them full time to help, so there's that going on at that age already.
But at age 56 with no nuclear family, his parents are ... his family. And it's less of him being an overgrown kid and they're just 3 older people living together. And him living there can really help them and keep them out of a home.
How is it really sponging ? The house is more than likely already paid for and the same space it still there ... an empty bedroom that just sits there. As for food hey guess what I still have been known on occasion to get an invite from them to come over and eat with them! Here's what else ... if there is a lot left over they actually say "take some of this home " it's going to get thrown out otherwise ... I guess there would be that 10 cents an hour light bulb and laptop reading I do before bed. Wow what a parasite ... it was so much better to pay a landlord's mortgage for years and years but hey I'm not a moocher and I found some women to date that might not have otherwise ( I couldn't tell you where any of these people are now)
Yes. I laughed when I read that post. My husband and I don't have bunches of money, but we're comfortable. I think that right now there's $30 in the account that we use for daily money. Raise the Black Flag would be all high horse if he saw my receipt. But it's hardly even a start of our financial situation.
Which is a good example of how we can see a small snippet of another's life and not understand the whole person. Judging based on that snippet can often lead to judging incorrectly. Like the one fact that an older person lives at home. The friend in the OP sounds like he's maybe a bit stuck mentally, but there are so many possible reasons why someone might live with their parents that the whole story would be necessary to make any sort of judgement. If one felt compelled to judge in the first place.
The exception that proves the rule. I used to do this a lot. I've looked at dozens and dozens of ATM receipts... am I really expected to believe that all had money in a different acct? Please
Why would they be withdrawing from their checking account and not savings account?
Also why wouldn't they not have emergency money in the bank instead locking money in that is not liquid for years with a cd 401k stock acct ?
Savings account is for savings and is in a different bank than checking. Checking is for normal living expenses, cash on hand, etc. Stock (not in a 401k) can be sold at any moment with a quick call in/click in to the broker.
Savings account is for savings and is in a different bank than checking. Checking is for normal living expenses, cash on hand, etc. Stock (not in a 401k) can be sold at any moment with a quick call in/click in to the broker.
Very weird that you would pick through trash IMO.
Give me a break. There are several studies out there that talk about credit card debt (average is 10k) and how x percent couldn't come up with 400 bucks in an emergency most recently . Further selling stocks early for living expenses is a fools game ... it could mean steep losses not to mention you're not really an investor if that's not money you didn't need.
There are several studies out there that talk about credit card debt (average is 10k) and how x percent couldn't come up with 400 bucks in an emergency most recently .
What is the value of x? 5? 95? That seems critical to your argument here.
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