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Good grief, I leave my dog at home! I never would even think to bring my dog to someone's house. WTH. He is a member of our family but he doesn't need to go everywhere we go. He's also at home while we work, with free reign.
Someone that goes to the same church as we do insisted on bringing her dog. She said it was for emotional support. I am not sure how much the dog got out of the services. She constantly kissed it, petted it and fed it.
Sounds as though maybe she didn't get much out of the services, either.
I think this trend of taking your pets with you everywhere is along the same lines as Helicopter Parenting.
The thinking is that the more you smother your child/pet, the more you love them. It's a form of one-upsmanship. "You won't leave your pet for more than 3 hours? Well, I don't leave mine AT ALL! EVER!"
That very well could be. I think the trend is also part of the "I'll do as I please, and to hell with anyone else and no one better try and stop me" mentality that has become so prevalent in our society.
I was thinking it might be a reaction to the isolation many people feel in this digital world. We know that as we age we generally have fewer friends. People move away and don't stay in touch, college pals no longer have much in common with us, co-workers aren't really friends. Seeking to have one's social needs met online via FB and Instagram may be a novelty at first but ultimately, it's not very satisfying.
Yet your dog loves you unconditionally and will never leave you. Why wouldn't you want him with you all the time?
But your point is a very good one and you may well be closer to the truth.
You have a good point too. Perhaps all the digjtal isolation also contributes to the extreme self-centeredness that makes people think they should be allowed to cater to their every whim.
Let 'em sue, given that 'emotional support' animals are mostly a fraud. I mean, you don't need an opinion from a mental health professional. All you have to do is buy the doggie vest off EBay and make it thus.
I think (at least from some of those sites), that doggie vest comes with a generic form letter from a supposed mental health professional attesting to the holder being in need of the services provided by the doggie wearing the vest. The sites may state that said critter is supposed to be "trained" for those claimed services, but say they go by the "honor system" ie, take the owners' word that the dog has been trained. Purely a fraudulant commercial enterprise, IMO.
You are the one who is actually doing the dictating in this situation, essentially saying that you and your dog are one and the same. Invite one, and the other gets invited, too. Otherwise, you'll get into a snit and be unpleasant company, if you deign to show up at all.
In addition to not understanding the basics of etiquette, you seem to lack self-awareness, too. You are trying to drag your dog where it is not welcome, but you describe their attitude as the problem. Perfectly nice, kind, and hospitable people want to welcome you into your home sans dogs -- for completely legitimate reasons. Instead, you are the one who is, in truth, dictating terms. I can hear the conversation now.
"Well, I'd love to invite ComeCloser, but she always gets her nose out of joint when her pooch can't come."
"That's too bad that she can't seem to grasp that our daughter is a severe asthmatic."
"And that this is a small house."
"Weird how she feels the need to bring her dog absolutely everywhere."
"Yep. A shame. It's going to be a great party, too."
It's a dog. That's it. A dog. I mean, hey, if you feel the need to sacrifice your relationships, if you feel the need to fight and die on this particular hill, knock yourself out. But please don't confuse your lack of consideration for your hosts as some kind of higher moral calling.
You try to flip the issue quite nicely, but it's not some random pooch. My random pooch stays home while I work everyday. When she was a puppy, my husband was home with her during that time. We would not have been able to come your great party when she was a puppy.
I had an elderly mutt that was prone to seizures. We couldn't leave him alone either in that state. For the years of joy and laughter, love and support he gave both of us, it would not leave us with a good feeling to suddenly treat him like a spare pair of shoes. In that case, we would have to skip your great party as well.
Im not accusing anyone of having their nose out of joint because they are asthmatic. Why would I be spoken of negatively for putting my extended family members above your great party. If the party is even a good one, who would miss me?
I think this trend of taking your pets with you everywhere is along the same lines as Helicopter Parenting.
The thinking is that the more you smother your child/pet, the more you love them. It's a form of one-upsmanship. "You won't leave your pet for more than 3 hours? Well, I don't leave mine AT ALL! EVER!"
when my son was young, we had a lab...she went everywhere with us....all the time, except when it came to going to other peoples homes, or yards, or whomever was hosting a picnic/cookout, we always asked permission...which I believe, everyone should practice regardless if it's family or not....your a guest in someone else's home, and we all should try to remember that.
Actually, I think my one aunt loved the dog more than us and forever asked us to bring her.
When you say that the dog "went everywhere with us...all the time", what did that really mean? Did you take the dog to work with you? To the grocery store? To restaurants? To weddings? To funerals? To parent teacher conferences at school? On the airplane when you went on vacation? Etc? Etc?
"when my son was young, we had a lab...she went everywhere with us....all the time", comments like this are confusing. I bet that you are just referring to taking the dog to places like the park, or along for drives or to a close friend's house or your aunt's house (people who did not mind that you brought your dog) and not taking your pet dog to work, the grocery store, weddings, funerals, etc. But some people who read that comment are thinking "Well, cremebrulee took her lab everywhere with her family so I can, too.
A couple weeks ago we had a family gathering.....my husband’s 3 children (late 30s and 40s), 20 something granddaughter and a couple younger grandchildren. This was their first visit to our newly built home. We have no pets. The oldest granddaughter brought her new puppy (in a carrier) (housebreaking status unknown). The youngest daughter brought her dog (uncrated), an older dog with known incontinence problems. To their credit, they did immediately take the dogs outside onto our deck, but they mainly stayed out there with them and I didn’t get to visit much since I was busy inside preparing food.
Is this some new trend - bring your dog uninvited? Neither expressed any apologies for bringing them. As I said, this is a brand new home and I really don’t want dogs over here. I didn’t say anything but what should I do next time? “Please leave Fluffy and Spot at home”? Or do I need to grin and bear it and join the 21st century?
They all live about 40 miles from us so they won’t be coming every week, but certainly several times a year.
VERY rude and presumptuous! I am a dog love and enjoy taking my dogs places with me. That said, I would never bring my dog to someone’s home unless they specifically invited me to bring the dogs. I would not even ask because anyone that knows me, knows I have dogs and if they don’t tell me to bring them, I take that as an answer. Yes, next time tell them to leave the dogs at home, or at least make it clear they will not be allowed in your house. If you wanted to compromise, you could tell them if they bring the dogs, they must bring a crate and they have to stay in it in the house.
These are not "people" coming to someone's house. These are adult children & grandkuds coming to visit their father/grandfather's home.
How does your husband feel about it?
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She constantly kissed it, petted it and fed it.
