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I'd just tell him that I like to hang out and have "man" talk with him and his niece kinda ruins that aspect of your get togethers.
It will depend on how much he wants to hang out with her as to how he reacts.
I had a friend's wife who was a total be-atch nightmare to be around. I'm sure she was worse than this niece. All she did was complain about people I didn't know and bad situations etc - she was the Queen Of Negativity.
I told my friend "Hey, I really just like hanging out with you, not your wife."
He must have then told his wife that, and being hen-pecked, he let his wife ban him from hanging out with me from that point forward.
It was unfortunate to lose him as a friend (we were new friends not old friends though), but the bottom line is I just couldn't stand being around his wife. So, "so be it".
I'd just tell him that I like to hang out and have "man" talk with him and his niece kinda ruins that aspect of your get togethers.
It will depend on how much he wants to hang out with her as to how he reacts.
I had a friend's wife who was a total be-atch nightmare to be around. I'm sure she was worse than this niece. All she did was complain about people I didn't know and bad situations etc - she was the Queen Of Negativity.
I told my friend "Hey, I really just like hanging out with you, not your wife."
He must have then told his wife that, and being hen-pecked, he let his wife ban him from hanging out with me from that point forward.
It was unfortunate to lose him as a friend (we were new friends not old friends though), but the bottom line is I just couldn't stand being around his wife. So, "so be it".
Yeah that's what I thought might happen is that since he knows his niece for longer than me, that maybe he would feel he had to pick her over me, if it came to that. I felt that maybe it was fair for him to hang out with both of us, just on separate occasions. Like hang out with his niece one day, of the week, then with me another day, etc. If that's fair.
Basically my best friend and I hang out a lot, but since his niece moved into the city, he wants to bring her along all the time. Now normally I would be okay with this, but the niece whines and complains a lot and I find her to be a very negative stressful person to be around.
She mostly complains about men, men this, men that, etc. I don't know if this sounds too harsh, but I find her to be a misandrist drama queen and it really brings me down, when I am just trying to hang out and have fun.
I feel like telling my friend that she just brings down my moral and I find it hard to hang out with him, if he chooses to bring her along the time. He mentioned this before, without me having to say anything, where he said sorry for her being very negative all night. But then he just keeps bringing her along all the time, and she still is very negative and whines and complains about things all the time, which brings me down.
But what do you think, or how should I handle it?
Why can't you just tell your friend face to face what you have told all of us?Obviously he knows that what you're saying to us is the truth since he's admitted to her bad behavior as well.WHY does he feel the need to take her along wherever you guys go ALL the time?Just tell him that you don't want her around because her attitude sucks and you don't want to be around that.I'm sure he can take her and hang out with her to do other things on their own.Tell him to do that.
Why not ask her in front of him? "Susan, wouldn't you have more fun hanging out with people in your age group?"
Quote:
Originally Posted by codergirl
Why can't you just tell your friend face to face what you have told all of us?Obviously he knows that what you're saying to us is the truth since he's admitted to her bad behavior as well.WHY does he feel the need to take her along wherever you guys go ALL the time?Just tell him that you don't want her around because her attitude sucks and you don't want to be around that.I'm sure he can take her and hang out with her to do other things on their own.Tell him to do that.
Exactly, besides her being such a downer, I really can't think of age group where you don't have too much in common with her being in her early 20s and they're in their early 30s. Totally different interests and experiences.
Also say to your friend in order for her to meet people her own age she needs to get out there on her own.
But early 20s and 30s are really pretty far apart in lifestyles and interests. One is usually still in college or just graduated, the other has now had at least one professional job for several years or on their second one, different interests, etc.
I'm in my early 30s, and my brother is 10 years younger. Yeah, our lifestyles are completely different. I don't mind hanging out with him occasionally, going to the movies or a museum. I would never want to hang out with him and his friends, and he would never want to hang out with mine.
I'd start calling her mary sunshine ...and keep saying. Wow! How positively unenlightening that remark is.
My friends know that I mentor teens and some can be a handful of angst....a few teens spew thoughts that deserved further examination. So I tell em...unless you can back that up I'd suggest backing down. Most 'get' the goal.
A simple zip it! Can also curtail negative Nelly.
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