He Assumed I Spoke "Asian" Because Of My Race! (acquaintance)
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Yesterday I held the door for this white man and he said "Xie Xie" (Chinese for thank you) and then when I had no response and no reaction, he said "Arigato" (Japanese)
Now I don't speak either language, I was aware of those greetings as many people who don't speak the language do, as others understand "Bonjour" etc. But just because I was Asian, he ASSUMED that I spoke the language. I am Chinese-American but that does not necessarily mean I speak Chinese or any other languages, just based on my race.
THEN, when I had no reaction again, he said "Are you Filipino"?!
I said "No I am not and you have been wrong!"
This is almost an opposite situation from the recent run ins I've had where I felt race was a trigger for encounters with rude strangers, in that this man "meant well" but "Thanks" would've sufficed, this is California 2018 after all. But the assumption about language ability and THEN ethnicity (with multiple failed attempts) just screamed ignorance.
It's not cute that just because you know 1 greeting in language X you use it on someone who you THINK comes from that country X.
Oh and this is not the 1st time something like this has happened
I've seen it happen to friends of mine. One in particular.. and this is pretty bad... she's Hispanic and has rather dark skin. Her first and only language is English and she even has a 4 year degree in it. She was with her son at the library and a woman went up to her and was wondering if she could nanny her child in Spanish. So two terrible assumptions were made based on appearances alone 1) That my friend was a nanny 2) That my friend was a nanny that spoke Spanish.
What can I tell you.. stereotypes are and will be a part of humanity for a long time still, if not always (if you don't believe me then look up the evolutionary benefits of them in field of Psychology). My recommendation is to learn about them and understand that there is only so much you can do to not be affected by them or, conversely, affect others with your own.
Shake it off. Go about your life and your life goals. It was annoying, but not anything that has to continue to bother you if you don't want it to.
Yesterday I held the door for this white man and he said "Xie Xie" (Chinese for thank you) and then when I had no response and no reaction, he said "Arigato" (Japanese)
Now I don't speak either language, I was aware of those greetings as many people who don't speak the language do, as others understand "Bonjour" etc. But just because I was Asian, he ASSUMED that I spoke the language. I am Chinese-American but that does not necessarily mean I speak Chinese or any other languages, just based on my race.
THEN, when I had no reaction again, he said "Are you Filipino"?!
I said "No I am not and you have been wrong!"
This is almost an opposite situation from the recent run ins I've had where I felt race was a trigger for encounters with rude strangers, in that this man "meant well" but "Thanks" would've sufficed, this is California 2018 after all. But the assumption about language ability and THEN ethnicity (with multiple failed attempts) just screamed ignorance.
It's not cute that just because you know 1 greeting in language X you use it on someone who you THINK comes from that country X.
Oh and this is not the 1st time something like this has happened
krosser, I hate to say it this way, but you are going to have to get a thicker skin.
People are going to make blunders, and you cannot get outraged at every single one because if you do you will drive yourself crazy or go off half-cocked and get arrested.
There's no doubt that this guy was wrong to make an assumption about you. His assumptions were incredibly ignorant. But at least he was not trying to cast hate your way, as you said others in your town have been doing toward Asians. So try giving him the benefit of the doubt.
You belong to a couple of minority groups, and because of that you more than most people are going to encounter folks who either mean harm or mean well. Some people will try hard to insult you, and some will go overboard, like this guy, to be polite (and maybe show off), but whatever their intent, they are going to rub you the wrong way. You have to learn to blow it off.
If you want to teach folks like this a lesson, then take a breath and politely say, "Please don't assume I am foreign just because I don't look like you."
I've seen it happen to friends of mine. One in particular.. and this is pretty bad... she's Hispanic and has rather dark skin. Her first and only language is English and she even has a 4 year degree in it. She was with her son at the library and a woman went up to her and was wondering if she could nanny her child in Spanish. So two terrible assumptions were made based on appearances alone 1) That my friend was a nanny 2) That my friend was a nanny that spoke Spanish.
Shake it off. Go about your life and your life goals. It was annoying, but not anything that has to continue to bother you if you don't want it to.
Yes, I have an Hispanic acquaintance 3rd generation who shared a similar story like that
Almost makes you want to laugh, the ridiculousness of it all, but annoying nonetheless
krosser, I hate to say it this way, but you are going to have to get a thicker skin.
People are going to make blunders, and you cannot get outraged at every single one because if you do you will drive yourself crazy or go off half-cocked and get arrested.
If you want to teach folks like this a lesson, then take a breath and politely say, "Please don't assume I am foreign just because I don't look like you."
Thanks Birdie yes I like your last statement
No they don't make me go "crazy"...at the end of the day, i do kinda giggle about the ridiculousness of it all, don't worry "no arrests" will be made
Just the ignorance of it all..
No they don't make me go "crazy"...at the end of the day, i do kinda giggle about the ridiculousness of it all, don't worry "no arrests" will be made
Just the ignorance of it all..
Many of us are ignorant about those who are different, and interactions like this I think keep people from really getting to know each other because they are afraid of making a blunder like this.
I'm sure it gets really old to be on the receiving end
This is one of my favorite comedians. He's of Korean descent but grew up in East TN so you can imagine the hilarious stuff he's encountered over the years:
Many of us are ignorant about those who are different, and interactions like this I think keep people from really getting to know each other because they are afraid of making a blunder like this.
I'm sure it gets really old to be on the receiving end
This is one of my favorite comedians. He's of Korean descent but grew up in East TN so you can imagine the hilarious stuff he's encountered over the years:
Oh wow I didn't expect that Southern twang coming from him
Yesterday I held the door for this white man and he said "Xie Xie" (Chinese for thank you) and then when I had no response and no reaction, he said "Arigato" (Japanese)
Now I don't speak either language,
So... you knew both XIE XIE and Arigato meant Thank you and you refused to acknowledge it because it wasn't in your native language?
If a hispanic guy says Gracias to me I would say You're welcome, but, that's just the kind of guy I am.
Good luck, Rg
Last edited by raggedjim; 11-26-2018 at 02:25 PM..
Reason: bad speller...
That's awful! It's almost like he wanted to honor your heritage when expressing thanks for your kind gesture. What is the world coming to when people try to, gasp, communicate with others.
On the bright side, that terrible, "racist" white man provided yet another opportunity to take offense where it is very likely none was offered or intended.
Seriously, what is gained by assuming the worst and becoming outraged over something that was probably meant to be a friendly gesture?
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