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It doesn't really matter if you want to think about your Family of Origin or the family you have created. I am conflating "both" aspects into my perception of "family."
I now believe that "family" is simply a support team - and some teams are better than others and have better records.
My "team" is not that strong. I would prefer a "better" team, but I have to play the hand I was dealt.
How do you feel about your team (specifically regarding survival and "support" - which includes emotional support, as well as practical support). If you need someone, are they "there" - or is there hesitation?
My family is always there for me. Of course, its just my parents and a sister, really.
A cousin who is pretty close. The rest are overseas and I basically do not know. Obviously, the more numbers you add to your family, the more variation you get.
I rated mine as the best. My parents went above and beyond for me. And I'm close to my siblings.
My dad died several years ago, but my mom is still around, and I have a step dad now. They're both in their 80's. I hope and I pray that I'll be able to "be there" and be able step up appropriatly as needed.
All I have left are my twins and a foster daughter plus a good friend and his daughter that I consider family. We are scattered all over the country right now but will reunite for the summer. Even scattered all over we still come if one of us is in need.
Location: Huntersville/Charlotte, NC and Washington, DC
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Mom's side - Mom herself and I are good. Her family will always refer to us as the uppity s who moved North because mom chose to stay in Virginia which had more opportunity instead of going back to Arkansas when she finished her military service. As a result, I have no contact with them and I think that is for the nest. They won't be my shoulder to cry anytime ever.
Dad's side - My late dad and I always had issues mostly because he had no business being a father. But I actually get along decent with a couple of uncle's and a few cousins. I think I would be okay asking them for emotional support when I need it.
My immediate family? My parents have been there for me come hell or high water. One aunt has. One set of grandparents was (grandmother is still alive).
The rest of the family? I wouldn't trust them that much. I have a wealthy uncle who has been good to me personally, but he has screwed over his kids and ex-wives. I have a living, formerly severely alcoholic grandfather with a list of felonies a mile long. His wife, my grandmother, never drank, but also never got along with anyone. Both of them are absolute dynamos, even in their 80s and off all the booze/drugs, and are hard to deal with. I don't have any bad blood, but we aren't close.
l come from a huge family and many times wouldn't wish that on anyone, it's just like 5 times the hassle of a small family.
But also really , they aren't too bad as families go.
They usually disappoint when needed but to be expected and most families do l think.
But really , mostly pretty hassle free and not too many dramas so thats a win in my book as far as family go.
I honestly don't even think of my family as the go to people for any support I need (especially emotionally). Both my parents passed when I was in my 20s. I have two older sisters but the age differences when we were younger didn't really make us close (as in "sisters - friends forever!"). However, we do get along in general and see each other every few months (we actually all live in the same area). We have just never been a very emotionally demonstrative type group. This includes all my extended family also. I tend to look to friends for the support I want because sometimes my sisters will criticize and lecture about what I might be going through as though my problems are always my fault.
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s who moved North because mom chose to stay in Virginia which had more opportunity instead of going back to Arkansas when she finished her military service. As a result, I have no contact with them and I think that is for the nest. They won't be my shoulder to cry anytime ever.
