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One of the wives in our group of friends was saying how all men are the same, and that we shouldn't trust our husbands, then she starts asking me if I have never felt like my husband is lying or cheating or talking to other women, so I said NO, he has never given me a reason for me to feel like I can't trust him. This girl is a very insecure person, I think she has self-esteem issues, because she always says how she wishes she was skinnier, she is very insecure in her relationship, one day she texted me asking for advice, that she caught her husband talking to his ex-gf, and asking how do I keep my relationship healthy and that we looked so happy, and so on and on. She continues to tell me how she knows of lies and infidelities going on in our group of friends ( I do know, because my husband told me, that one of the husbands is cheating on his wife ), but why would she say all this to put me in a weird place in my marriage?
They wanted to go this Saturday, the ladies to a male strip club and the guys to a female strip club nextdoor, all this conversation happened over text after my husband and I opted out, and told them that we had decided to not go, because we do not need this kind of drama in our lives and that we are doing just fine in our marriage, and that we do not like strip clubs. We are both 29 and never ever doubted one another, been together for almost 9 years.
Did she make you doubt your marriage? It doesn't sound like it.
I don't be-friend people who make generalizations about groups of people like "all men......".
No, I don't doubt my marriage. I think she is just very insecure in her own relationship, but damn, its pretty upsetting that she is telling me all this.
This happens sometimes when groups of women get together. Some people take advantage of the "forum" that a group provides and, seeking attention, they project their own issues onto others in the group and start making crazy claims to try and build up the others into a frenzy of agreement. I don't understand it. It's despicable, really.
The good news is that you KNOW she's a head case. You know what your marriage is really like, and you and your husband are making good choices to avoid this kind of crap.
Im not really sure what your question is, however I would stay away from that group of friends if I were you. They seem really wacked out. You should tell your friend that your marriage is great and you are happily married. Tell your friend that her and her husband should seek marriage counseling because it seems like they need a lot of help. Her problems aren't yours and I wouldn't get involved in her family drama. That's very strange and pretty bizarre that they would go to strip clubs, they are all married and should act like it.
Back in the day, my husband and I used to ride our Harley. My husband worked with a guy who also had a Harley and a wife. So the 4 of us used to ride together sometimes, and hang out sometimes.
This guy was a terrible flirt. If my husband behaved the way this guy behaved, I would've been terribly upset. His wife seemed like a nice woman, and I liked her well enough. She would often say to me "I like you and _________. You two are "no drama". She said that to me lots of times.
Her husband was drama for sure. But she'd act like it was fine...whatever he did right in front of her face, or behind her back...she'd act like it was fine, or funny, or pretend she didn't see it.
I'm sure she DID like "no drama". I used to feel sorry for her.
There are people who seemingly (to me) don't feel alive unless they're stirring the pot. It creates excitement I guess. Maybe they confuse the drama with caring...I don't know. Or maybe they feel so bad about themselves, that they want others to be miserable as well. I've never quite understood that motivation.
Be very cautious of this woman. I would seriously keep her at a distance, and advise your husband to, as well. She seems like the jealous and sabotaging type to me.
One of the wives in our group of friends was saying how all men are the same, and that we shouldn't trust our husbands, then she starts asking me if I have never felt like my husband is lying or cheating or talking to other women, so I said NO, he has never given me a reason for me to feel like I can't trust him. This girl is a very insecure person, I think she has self-esteem issues, because she always says how she wishes she was skinnier, she is very insecure in her relationship, one day she texted me asking for advice, that she caught her husband talking to his ex-gf, and asking how do I keep my relationship healthy and that we looked so happy, and so on and on. She continues to tell me how she knows of lies and infidelities going on in our group of friends ( I do know, because my husband told me, that one of the husbands is cheating on his wife ), but why would she say all this to put me in a weird place in my marriage?
They wanted to go this Saturday, the ladies to a male strip club and the guys to a female strip club nextdoor, all this conversation happened over text after my husband and I opted out, and told them that we had decided to not go, because we do not need this kind of drama in our lives and that we are doing just fine in our marriage, and that we do not like strip clubs. We are both 29 and never ever doubted one another, been together for almost 9 years.
No one made me doubt mine. But a couple of my wife's friends tried to take pot shots at me. Fortunately my wife wasn't buying. Part of it because they want things to be the way they always were. And if it means sowing doubt on a budding relationship, then they'll do it.
There is almost always one person who wants to be the destroyer of happiness in the circle of friends. That sad sack who made really awful choices in his or her own relationships, so they naturally think they apply to all relationships, or even most.
These people are not just idiots. They are narcissists, too, intent on ruining your relationship for no other reason than entertainment.
I haven't read my way through this thread yet, but I guarantee you that there's at least one or two who want to pour cold water on the notion of marriage because they were complete self-defeating failures at it. Because they were idiots, everyone is an idiot.
So I would put distance between you and this woman. Because she won't rest until she's a cancer in your marriage.
No, I don't doubt my marriage. I think she is just very insecure in her own relationship, but damn, its pretty upsetting that she is telling me all this.
She seeks solidarity or affirmation for her basic beliefs, which are that men cheat on their wives.
Tell her you are tired of her constant stream of negativity, and refuse to listen to her. Shut her down, move away, or put up your hand like a stop sign. It is up to you to refuse to listen or participate in this back and forth.
Be very cautious of this woman. I would seriously keep her at a distance, and advise your husband to, as well. She seems like the jealous and sabotaging type to me.
Exactly what I was thinking!!! I've been around people (mostly women) like this all my life in some form or another. If there isn't any actual cheating or drama going on, they will stir everyone up until there really is something happening. And she'll start playing the friends against each other... "I heard Sue really thinks Betty's husband is sexy" etc. She'll plant ideas and start baseless rumors just because she wants everyone else to be as unhappy as she is.
Stay away!!!
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