Quote:
Originally Posted by murph1982
Hello,
Many years ago back in 1975 I had an Aunt and Uncle who I cared deeply about and were special to me as I was growing up. I was only twelve years old at the time. They had one daughter who was eighteen, my cousin.
Unfortunately my favorite uncle was stricken with brain cancer and passed away within six months. I was very sad at the time but what made matters worse is my Mother decided it was best for me not to attend the funeral when he passed away. I did not even know my uncle had passed away until two months later. He is buried close by and I, with the help of my wife take care of his grave site.
During 1975, my cousin decides to move to Canada with her fiancee and my favorite aunt leaves and goes with the both of them. My family did not know what city they had moved to and unfortunately my cousin and aunt did not keep in touch with us. I was always confused about all of this growing up and even today at the age of 55 I am still confused and somewhat hurt. Why did they avoid keeping in touch with me when they knew I cared about them? My cousin married and of course I did not know her married last name so I did not know where to begin to look for them when I could research on the internet.
Recently, after tending to my uncles grave, my wife suggested trying to reach out and locate my aunt and cousin once again. I looked for obituaries online in the cities of Canada and actually located my aunt. She had passed away in 2009. I was never informed obviously and became sad hearing about her passing.
I was able to see my cousins last name after reading the obituary and decided to reach out to her. My wife thought it was a good idea too.
I wrote a hand written letter, four pages long to my cousin about how I felt about my uncle and aunt and congratulated her on having grandchildren and even enclosed pictures of my wife and i and our children.
(I gave my cousin my e-mail address, home address and my cell phone number.) I wrote this letter over a month ago and even tried to reach out to her on the linked in career site. For some unknown reason to me, my cousin has not replied to any of my messages or the hand written letter I sent to her. I even mentioned how we take care of her fathers grave but that did not even get a response. (My aunt was buried in Canada.) I am surprised, disappointed and hurt by this occurring and have a hard time dealing with it for some reason. I have to ask the obvious questions, should I just move on from trying to connect with my cousin? I know deep down I did nothing wrong but I feel she could have at least sent me a reply. I would appreciate any helpful advice you have about this issue. Thank You!
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I can't tell you why you didn't a get reply.
I can tell you, though, from experience, that very often long letters intimidate people. Replying seems like an impossible task. If you wrote it by hand, sometimes even reading seems impossible.
Here's my suggestion. On December 1, mail them a lovely Christmas card, and mention that you'd love to re-connect, and that you'd sent them a long letter in the fall, which you hope reached them. Add something about your fond memories - and tell them that if they didn't receive the letter, you can send them a copy (I hope you made a copy!).
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