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but sometime you have to get to know the person. small talk also is about filling in the time, and appearing friendly, rather than making friends/associations with others.
To the OP, may I respectfully ask what part of the country you are originally from? I too, moved across country to Colorado after landing a job here after getting out of the military back in 2005. I, like you, have found it almost impossible to make any kind of friends here or have any sort of relationships with the opposite sex. I'm not saying that Coloradoans are mean per se, but I am saying that they are EXTREMELY reserved and do not seem to want to make friends with new folks. This charachter trait is especially true at Pikes Peak Community College. All of the women (and men too) are always texting their (presumably) boyfriends, husbands, etc and do not wish to interact with anyone that they do not already know. This makes it especially difficult to establish connections IMHO.
I've always been drawn to people who are 'together' and have good attitudes. Usually, that person is moving comfortably in their own 'world' and mine happens to intersect.
That's when the work comes. You have to make the phone calls and meet to get to know each other.
I have made two new friends (good friends: talk often, see each other often, know the secrets!) in the last 13 years. I have found five other women who could have been friends. But the relationship never developed, one was too busy, timing was off, etc. That's just the way it is.
So yes, you have to meet the person in a chance/contrived way, but then you have to call and invite them to do something. And then invite them again. You may have several outings and things will flounder.
When a friendship should happen it will.
In the meantime, keep up your good work, keep doing things that interest you, and keep your eyes open!
To the OP, may I respectfully ask what part of the country you are originally from? I too, moved across country to Colorado after landing a job here after getting out of the military back in 2005. I, like you, have found it almost impossible to make any kind of friends here or have any sort of relationships with the opposite sex. I'm not saying that Coloradoans are mean per se, but I am saying that they are EXTREMELY reserved and do not seem to want to make friends with new folks. This charachter trait is especially true at Pikes Peak Community College. All of the women (and men too) are always texting their (presumably) boyfriends, husbands, etc and do not wish to interact with anyone that they do not already know. This makes it especially difficult to establish connections IMHO.
I moved from Michigan, Metro Detroit to be exact. I'll have to go back and examine the situation there, but I don't recall it ever being this difficult to make friends. It's as if people have made filled their lives with more stuff than they can handle and so they have no time or inclination to make new friends. What kind of life is that?
Small talk is fine, but it means nothing if it doesn't evolve into something bigger and better. Most of the time you go back to these groups and people STILL don't remember who you are. So, it's like starting all over again. That's the frustrating part. I don't like living my life as if it's on repeat.
I don't mind small talk, I'm just tired of repeating the process over and over with no positive results.
If you don't mind me sayin---maybe find what you have to offer, of substance, and start there. cut to the chase. Small talk is for kids and bar flies.
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