1 Son 2 Moms (Scranton, Wilkes-Barre, York: transplants, home, school district)

[1 Son 2 Moms]

We are a family consisting of two lesbians in our 40's and a young son. We are looking for a place to raise our son where he is can grow and flourish with a minimum of bullying about something he clearly is not.

How are the schools (and the more importantly the parents) in the Poconos regarding tolerance? Someone mentioned Milford as a gay friendly place. Cute cafes aside, how do you think our family would be received in your schools????

[ScranBarre]

With the influx of new residents from the more liberal, tolerant, "progressive" states of NJ and NY into Milford, I don't think your family would have any difficulty assimilating. Naturally elementary school kids are notorious for teasing anyone and everyone for anything, so I can't guarantee that your son won't get teased for having "two mommies" as well. I was teased for having freckles of all things, and there was nothing I could have done about that.

You don't start to hit bedrock racism/prejudice/intolerance/homophobia/social ignorance/nastiness, etc. until you hit the more immediate Scranton/Wilkes-Barre area, where a lot of people are in a 1960s Archie Bunker time warp where they still don't view minorities as being on an "even keel" with themselves. I myself have faced some difficulty here, as have many others in the LGBT community. Social ignorance is abundant here, and I can only hope that as Scranton continues to align itself more closely with NY/NJ in the coming years that the continuing influx of liberal transplants will encourage these "old school" types to wake up and enter the 21st Century. Yes, women can vote. No, you can't catch AIDS by shaking hands with a gay person. No, not all Muslims are terrorists.

[FightinPhils]

Edith, stifle yourself and get me a beer, hah?

[MermanMike]

Hey there. I'm gay, grew up in NEPA, moved to the gay ghetto, and now moved back. Reality is that people are judgmental here, as everywhere. It is rare to meet a human being that has gone beyond that, but there will be a few of those rare christs no matter where you move. People will probably talk about your family at their dinner table gossip sessions but I doubt you would experience anything more offensive than that. I agree with SWB that Milford would be a fine choice. I don't know as much about Jim Thorpe.

I live north of Honesdale and it's beautiful here. I know a sub in the Wayne Highlands school district who is originally from Texas...she said the kids in the school are among the friendliest, most courteous kids she's ever met.

Your son is going to have to figure out at some point both how to open ready minds and ignore those minds that can't be awakened from their artificially moral slumber. It's probably going to start young no matter what kind of school environment he has. And he probably has two great moms to show him the ropes.

[LNTT_Vacationer]

Instead of running from a liberal, gay friendly state, I'd get a professional, outside opinion on why your 8 yo son is being "ostracized."

Kids see all types of home arrangements and I find it difficult to grasp that any ostracizing issues are due to simply having two females at home. Just my opinion. . . .

[ScranBarre]

Originally Posted by MermanMike

Hey there. I'm gay, grew up in NEPA, moved to the gay ghetto, and now moved back. Reality is that people are judgmental here, as everywhere. It is rare to meet a human being that has gone beyond that, but there will be a few of those rare christs no matter where you move. People will probably talk about your family at their dinner table gossip sessions but I doubt you would experience anything more offensive than that. I agree with SWB that Milford would be a fine choice. I don't know as much about Jim Thorpe.

I live north of Honesdale and it's beautiful here. I know a sub in the Wayne Highlands school district who is originally from Texas...she said the kids in the school are among the friendliest, most courteous kids she's ever met.

Your son is going to have to figure out at some point both how to open ready minds and ignore those minds that can't be awakened from their artificially moral slumber. It's probably going to start young no matter what kind of school environment he has. And he probably has two great moms to show him the ropes.

I've only ever been physically threatened and harassed by one neo-Nazi from Pittston who sent me hate mail, shoved me, and said he "wished Hitler would have finished the job he started," but I also had a few others in high school who acted very hostilely towards me and tried to encourage their friends to do the same. It wasn't easy by any means to be the only openly-gay male in a high school of 1,100. Thankfully most people were tolerant and treated me no differently than when they thought I was straight, but there were indeed a few cases that made life miserable for me.

I suppose you'll have this anywhere though. I've even heard that there are racists and homophobes in the liberal mecca that is Boston. What irks me around here though is that people freely joke and make snide remarks about gay people without any consideration of who is standing near them. I endured this one day at work when my manager and one of our customers whom we were both helping got off on a tirade about gays and started making some really nasty comments, oblivious to the fact that the bright-eyed, bushy-tailed, masculine guy next to them was one of "those people." I wanted to speak up, but I feared that I'd endure retaliation later from the manager for embarrassing him in front of a customer.

I'd love to see my future children grow up to see the day when who one fell in love with wasn't such a big deal. For God's sake the older Spartan males used to have sexual relations with teenaged males, and THAT was even socially accepted back then by their wives! Nowadays all I ask is to be able to enjoy going into work or campus one day WITHOUT having to hear such vitriol about us just trying to secure civil unions. This entire nation has a lot of social progression it needs to strive towards in that regard, but Scranton/Wilkes-Barre is most certainly VERY representative of that.

By and large though Milford would be a good choice. The townspeople seemed to be very liberal and outgoing, and I don't think they'd be the type to pick up the pitchforks to attack a lesbian couple. (Pittston on the other hand...)

[61scout80]

Originally Posted by SWB

I've even heard that there are racists and homophobes in the liberal mecca that is Boston.

i've never been there, but that the complete opposite of everything i ever heard about boston.


to the OP, i used to work with a gay couple who adopted a kid or 2. their tale made the front page of the times leader about 3 years ago, perhaps you can dig up a copy of the article for some insight. I believe the title of the article was "I call them Dad". not too sure on the date though, and a search on timesleader.com isn't finding anything.

[MermanMike]

Originally Posted by SWB

I've even heard that there are racists and homophobes in the liberal mecca that is Boston.

That reminds me of when I lived in greenwhich village and my room mate was harassed by a bunch of guys while he was coming out of an ATM. My room mate wasn't even gay! He had good fashion sense and fancy hair, I guess that was what they noticed, I dunno. One interesting thing that came of it though...he really had an eye-opening experience of what it is like to be gay in america. And we were living in a -very- gay-affirming place. Yea, there's homophobes everywhere.

[I LOVE PA!]

Originally Posted by LNTT_Vacationer

Instead of running from a liberal, gay friendly state, I'd get a professional, outside opinion on why your 8 yo son is being "ostracized."

Kids see all types of home arrangements and I find it difficult to grasp that any ostracizing issues are due to simply having two females at home. Just my opinion. . . .

you would like to think...but after moving to Pa and finding out that sweet inocent children are ostracized, not only by other children, but parents and teachers as well, simply because they came from New York... nuf said....
Well... I would believe tihs might be a problem of epic proportions for an 8 yr old in some towns.
1 son 2 moms....I wish you all the luck and success in finding happiness for your family. It is so important for a child to have a good feeling among peers and to be accepted. I understand your concerns.

[scrantonluna]

NEPA might not be the place for you. But, if you find yourself set on the area, get the kid some free weights, a blue collar comedy tour DVD, and a carharrt jacket and he'll do fine. What you may want to think of is that YOU and your partner will bear the brunt of any 'ostracizing,' while your child might be left alone.

Personally I'd look for a more progressive area.