Anyone Leave the high pay for the high life? (Fairfax: employment, neighborhood)

[rtloucks]

I have a cushy government job that I make great money and have great benefits but I am not liking Washington DC very much. I am married and have two children. We have moved around several times to Dallas, Charlotte, and Minnesota . We have family and friends in Minnesota but don't really consider Minnesota an option. This post is geared more toward the job decision,

Rather than bore you all will multiple questions, I only really have one that I'd like to concentrate on.

How do I decided what I want to do.?

I have an opportunity to go to Denver and have even taken a couple of trips out there and like it, but to be honest I'm not sure if it is what I want.

I'm not looking for responses about jobs, schools, areas of cities or even city recommendations.

What I am looking for is some intelligent responses from people that have been in the same position as us and what you decided and how you decided.

We are just very torn if it is worth giving up the government job and benefits for a private sector job with standard benefits if it means a slower more quality style of life somewhere else. We want this to be our final move so our Children can have some stability now that they are getting older.

[Carlingtonian]

I'm sure you would agree that you have to put your kids first. Given that, I would put the priority on stability. Is the opportunity in Denver truly bankable? Imagine if you were to be laid off. Happens a lot in other regions. It's hard to beat a federal job, in that you can't get fired from without due cause, versus the private sector, where you can get fired for no reason (at-will employment). Although the general public has an exaggerated perception of federal benefits, the fact is they aren't bad. Not the best, but still pretty good.

If I were you, I would look at what exactly it is you don't like about your current situation. Is it the job? Too many hours, etc.? Then you could find a government job with a better work-life balance. (Check out www.bestplacestowork.org .) Or is it wherever you live in Fairfax County? If so, then you could look for a different neighborhood.

In this economy, I would be very reluctant to leave stable employment with decent benefits.

The other thing is that you've done a lot of moving recently. I would be very tired of going through that over and over. Plus, it means your kids will have to start all over making new friends. Not that kids don't do that all the time, as the many military brats in the region will attest--but it seems like something one would want to avoid if possible.

[claremarie]

What Carlingtonian said.

You don't say how long you have lived in the DC area, nor how old your kids are, nor your general age. All of these would be relevant to determining whether you're dealing with a generic mid-life crisis, or a real dissatisfaction with specific elements of your work/family life in DC that could definitely be remedied by a move to Denver or elsewhere. Cushy government jobs are nothing to sneeze at. College tuition isn't getting any lower. There are real risks to sacrificing job stability and a good income, especially in this economy.

[Fern435]

Keep in mind that you are asking this question on a forum that has a lot of interest in portraying the NOVA/DC area in a positive light. In fact, when I first joined, to even suggest that a person might (possibly) be less than fulfilled or happy in NOVA meant instant attacks (attacks on every aspect of your post). They would say (and still do) that if you are not happy here, the problem is most definitely you--your fault, your attitude, etc.

We were in NOVA for 6 years. It was not a great fit, but our son was happy in his school and we wanted to let him stay in the same high school through graduation. We packed up the Penske truck the day of his graduation and moved out the next day. Happiest day of my life was leaving Virginia, and I actually wish it wasn't that way.

I don't doubt that some people love the atmosphere in NOVA/DC, but for me it was incredibly draining--traffic and too many toxic, arrogant, competitive people being two of the many things I found unpleasant.

[Carlingtonian]

Originally Posted by Fern435

I don't doubt that some people love the atmosphere in NOVA/DC, but for me it was incredibly draining--traffic and too many toxic, arrogant, competitive people being two of the many things I found unpleasant.

I don't disagree that there are a lot of people like that here--but I think that's true of most large cities. I'm sure Denver is no different. Small-town courtesy and friendliness are mostly the province of small towns.

At any rate, life isn't like a movie. Most of us work in jobs that are not what we dreamed of as teenagers. I'm not trying to be dismissive of the OP's feelings--I know firsthand that having a crappy manager is utter hell, as is a job that demands too much of your time--but being jobless is worse. Especially when there are family members depending on your income.

[Fern435]

Originally Posted by Carlingtonian

I don't disagree that there are a lot of people like that here--but I think that's true of most large cities. I'm sure Denver is no different. Small-town courtesy and friendliness are mostly the province of small towns.

At any rate, life isn't like a movie. Most of us work in jobs that are not what we dreamed of as teenagers. I'm not trying to be dismissive of the OP's feelings--I know firsthand that having a crappy manager is utter hell, as is a job that demands too much of your time--but being jobless is worse. Especially when there are family members depending on your income.

Denver is not like DC. Neither is Omaha (one of the nicest cities, in my experience). My kids think people in Los Angeles and the San Francisco area are much nicer and friendlier than the DC region. I think basic courtesy and friendliness (or at least an absence of blatantly rude behavior) are even more important in a more populated area, where you have more people living in close contact with each other. Unfortunately, not many people seem to see things that way.

Actually, my life seems to be a lot like a movie.

[rtloucks]

This is not a denver vs. dc decision. We are trying to figure out if someone has given up the type of job I have and gone to the private sector with more risk all for the better lifestyle and quality of life. There are drawbacks to a private sector job. We know that life is too short to wait for doing something. We are in our early 30s with 2 kids in elementary and middle school. Is it worth taking a risk to try something new? I have always been afraid to which is why I still work for the same agency I did since college.

[CAVA1990]

Originally Posted by rtloucks

This is not a denver vs. dc decision. We are trying to figure out if someone has given up the type of job I have and gone to the private sector with more risk all for the better lifestyle and quality of life. There are drawbacks to a private sector job. We know that life is too short to wait for doing something. We are in our early 30s with 2 kids in elementary and middle school. Is it worth taking a risk to try something new? I have always been afraid to which is why I still work for the same agency I did since college.

I don't understand. Government workers make less money than they would in the private sector in exchange for job security and a commitment to public service. Wouldn't going private at your age improve your financial situation?

[7 VII 7]

define cushy govt job

[rtloucks]

The j