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I'll spare ya'll the pity party, but we're a family of five. I've got a good job and my wife works every weekend and is paid pretty darn well. Despite this, we struggle to make ends meet every single month.
We live in an 1800 sq. ft. home in Fairfax and it is now worth considerably more than we paid for it in 2003. However, the average home price in our town is now about $700,000.00 and each week a new house gets knocked down and a new $1-3 million home goes up.
Though we have a good sized lot (1/3 acre) I see no way short of winning the lottery we'd ever be able to knock our home down and start again.
Mortgage is high, but not horrible. It was a while back until we refinanced.
Again, despite living frugally (I still drive my wife's 1998 Pontiac and take the Metro, we rarely eat out and don't shop at Whole Foods) we struggle each month to the point we've had to take out money against our retirement savings.
Pros of this place are many. Great schools, a beautiful older neighborhood, nice neighbors, close to our family south of here, a library system second to none, a wonderful park system, etc.
Cons are fewer, but they are significant: Because my wife has to work on the weekends we hardly ever have any real family time together. Cost of living in this area is killing us and the money situation causes a lot of stress for both of us. Also, the size of the house will become an issue as the kids get older.
I fully realize how VERY fortunate we are to even have a home and to be living in such a great area, but am I the only one out there thinking of chucking it all and moving somewhere where we can have a decent sized house and the cost of living is not so astronomically high?
I was even considering a position in Rapid City, SD where the cost of living was only 96% of the national average. I was stunned to find the COL in the DC region was 196% the national average. However, we decided too cold. We still are looking at other areas, particularly in the mid-Atlantic and South.
Any information is appreciated. Thanks for taking the time to read.
Location: Chapel Hill, NC, formerly NoVA and Phila
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I'll answer because my family size is the same as yours as well as the house and land size, although I did not feel like we were struggling financially. We moved away for a job transfer.
We were in Vienna in a 1950's ranch house - about 1900 square feet (plus basement) on 1/3 acre. Yes, the house was on the small size. (Kids were 10, 6 and 4 when we moved.) But we had a fabulous and private backyard with a big playset where the kids could run and play. We didn't struggle financially (we bought house in 2000 which probably helped). I was a mostly stay-at-home mom for 10 years (worked very part-time for about half of it). When my youngest went to preschool I got a part-time job near my house, but it was mostly while my kids were in school, and it was more to keep me busy, although the extra money was nice, too.
My husband had a job transfer to North Carolina. We were excited for the new opportunity and because the cost of living would be lower, while he would maintain his same salary. We moved from Vienna to Chapel Hill to get into a similar-quality school district. We spent $535K on a house which was just a bit less than our Vienna house was worth at the time (1 1/2 years ago). For that money, we got a 10-year old house with 1,000 more square feet, but no basement. Our lot is miniscule (.15 acres). I could cry every time I look at it.
While our house has more modern amenities - two zone heating, professional stove, gas fireplace, etc. and we have a bit more room to move around, I do not like it any better. (Although I am a sucker for old homes, and I like cozy spaces). I have found that the open floor plans of the newer homes means the rooms are about the same size, but with more space in between each room. The kitchen and bathrooms are much bigger but the other rooms are not. In fact, several are smaller! And the lack of basement means the kids do not have a separate play place (we have a bonus room by the bedrooms).
What makes newer housing not nearly as good as older housing, though is the lot size. Unless you pay big bucks for a custom lot, many newer housing developments are built on tiny lots nowadays. The lack of privacy is killing me. There is no room to play outside. I hear the thump, thump of my neighbors' basketball each morning. Yuck!
The ironic part of moving away from high-priced NoVA? We are paying over $2000 more in taxes to live here each year! On top of that, we are paying a higher income tax in NC as well as higher sales tax, higher homeowners insurance and higher car insurance. And the job market is not nearly as robust to boot! That means there are very few job opportunities for this long-term stay-at-home mom. So while I was easily able to find a part-time gig in NoVA, I haven't been able to find one here. Salaries overall are much lower, too. (My husband hires college grads at $35K.) We were just lucky that my husband's company didn't adjust his salary down.
Financially, we are doing the exact same as we were in Vienna. Living in a bigger, newer home on a smaller lot. But we are farther from everything and need to drive farther than we did in Viena to do many things.
Now, could you find other places besides Chapel Hill that are much less expensive? Yes, but A: the schools will not be comparable. B: you have to keep in mind the job opportunities for the second wage earner, if you move based on just one of you getting a job. Plus the primary breadwinner's job will probably pay less, too.
It's worth looking into, but make sure you consider everything - job opportunities, distance to city center, job pay, quality of school, etc.
I know this is probably not helpful, but plenty of families, in the past, raised entire families in 1950s ranch homes. You only think it is too small. I grew up in a home that had 1600 square feet and one bathroom. I was really happy.
Of course, you don't state you income and maybe it's just not enough for this area. There is that. Many folks need to have two full-time solid wage earners to feel comfort.
I grew up in a townhome with my parents, my elder grandparents, my brother and myself. The idea that you have to have the big individual lot and massive home isn't necessarily true if you have a good community, good local parks, good local fields. Kids play outside most of the time anyways. The only years it got tight was just before my brother left for college and when I was in middle school, but even then it wasn't like I was complaining.
My parents worked hard, and we had a good home, regardless of whether we had a good house. Ultimately, my dads store got lucky one year and got a very good contract and they were able to take that little bit of extra that year and leverage into reducing their mortgage and all of that and it really helped them start saving money.
So your options as I see it is, keep working and hoping that incrementally the amount you can save starts outpacing the amount on your expenses; or I agree you might need to move to a place where the cost of living makes more sense.
The housing issues in this region are starting to cause economic problems in our area as good workers and employees start throwing their hands up and saying, this doesn't make sense I am out of here. I hope zoning officials are paying attention and stop arbitrarily slowing housing development and redevelopment in the areas that already have infrastructure that can support the growth. While in this case more density in the core wouldnt help you directly, it would help provide relief on the demand/supply and therefore slow the cost of housing for living in inner suburbs in SFH.
I fully agree on the analogy regarding how families were raised in the past.
Hell, this home was built in 1956 for returning GIs. One of our neighbors, a WWII vet, raised his entire family in a similar home.
But between the small home size (relatively) and more significantly, the COL and the trouble we're having each month making ends meet, the temptation is there to throw our hands up in the air and going somewhere it's cheaper.
Problem is, we know nowhere will be as nice as here for all intents and purposes. We're not going to find an old, established neighborhood with good schools within walking distance. We lucked out finding our house here, but I can't help but think the neighborhood has grown beyond our means.
We had a note on the door from some Korean family laying out their entire life story asking us to sell them their home, or let them know of anyone in the area interested in selling. They know this area is highly valued and sought after and are looking to buy in. We were fortunate to find ourselves here, but I feel like we're being priced out.
One of our neighbors not only has El Salvadorans come and cut their grass each week, they've also got domestic help someone to come pick up the dog crap.
I look at them as I'm mowing the lawn and picking up my own dog crap and I just can't believe I'm in the same neighborhood. It's crazy...
I know this is probably not helpful, but plenty of families, in the past, raised entire families in 1950s ranch homes. You only think it is too small. I grew up in a home that had 1600 square feet and one bathroom. I was really happy.
Of course, you don't state you income and maybe it's just not enough for this area. There is that. Many folks need to have two full-time solid wage earners to feel comfort.
Good point, so many young families think they NEED 3,000+ sq. feet. Our house is small, built in the '50's and I know that many entire families were raised in them (although I dislike this galley kitchen and small living room/dining room combo). I grew up in a ranch house (that my father built) - originally had 1 bathroom - eventually he added a 1/2 bath - but we obviously survived it (parents and 3 kids).
I think some need to rethink their "NEEDS" and live with what they can afford - probably be much happier rather than trying to move somewhere else and be just as unhappy there (if not more so). Not saying this applied to OP in particular - just some that complain that they can't afford a huge house here.
It's hard to offer any solid suggestions or advice because you're leaving out a lot of details. Not shopping at Whole Foods doesn't necessarily equate to living frugally. You can move anywhere with a lower cost of living, but how will your salary compare to your current pay? Will your wife be able to find a job in the new place, or will you be out her income completely (assuming you don't want her to have to work weekends anymore so you have more family time together)? How confident are you that you would stick with a job/employer (most places with significantly lower COL have significantly worse job markets)?
Where do you work now? Would it put you in a better financial situation to sell your current home and move a bit further out for a bigger but possibly less expensive home?
....Problem is, we know nowhere will be as nice as here for all intents and purposes. We're not going to find an old, established neighborhood with good schools within walking distance. We lucked out finding our house here, but I can't help but think the neighborhood has grown beyond our means.
We had a note on the door from some Korean family laying out their entire life story asking us to sell them their home, or let them know of anyone in the area interested in selling. They know this area is highly valued and sought after and are looking to buy in. We were fortunate to find ourselves here, but I feel like we're being priced out....
I don't understand the "neighborhood growing beyond your means"..."feeling like you're being priced out" thing.
You bought the house years ago for way less than it would cost now. Refinanced (presumably fixed rate)and now the mortgage is not horrible. Real estate taxes haven't gone nuts. Seems to me that your housing costs should be fairly stable.
A seven figure mansion going up next door shouldn't have any effect on your housing situation. Other than having to look at the hideous damned thing!
ETA: Things are usually relative. Jobs in low COL areas tend to pay less....so you could end up in the same situation elsewhere.
For whatever reason...if you are not happy here, please do try and find a place that will make your family happy.
That being said, there is a reason so many people flock here, rather than other, less expensive areas. Just be sure to do your research. It would be a shame to uproot a family to escape some flaws (small housing, tight budget) for others (poor schools, lack of culture, etc).
Go where makes you happy! Just be sure it will.
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