Husband coming to NOVA solo. (Fairfax: apartment complexes, rent, hotels)

[SweetAsRain]

My husband got an offer in Fairfax, and instead of moving all of us down there, we're thinking of having him work M-F and coming home on the weekends. We currently live in NJ, so its not that far of a drive (we made it in 3 hours). This seems to be a new trend as we're finding out. My question is are there any studios or any one bedroom apts in the area? He's thought about getting a roommate. Anybody else here working in NOVA and going home on the weekends out of state?

[tamitrail]

OMG, don't do it! It is SO stressful. We lived in PA and my husband got transferred here. I lived in PA for a short period (I think about two months) while my husband stayed here during the week and came home on the weekends. It was horrible. My baby never got to see his daddy. I had to do everything on my own and it was hard. I don't know how old your kids are but their daddy will be missing a lot of stuff in their lives. We eventually moved in an apartment with him here and waited for our old house to be sold and our new house to be completed.

Maybe you were lucky to make it in 3 hours, but what happens when the weather is bad, or there is an accident on the road?

You will essentially be a full time mommy and a part time dad.

I'm sure your husband can find plenty of places to live for a single or with a roomate, if you choose to go that route, but really, I would try all else first.

[SweetAsRain]

Thanks for that. I think I can handle it. We may try it out to see how it goes. Its either we all just go down there, I stay here with the kids (8, 4, and 15 mos), or rent out our house. I appreciate your sharing your experience! We'll see what happens!

[ShannonMilligan]

Originally Posted by busymommy3

My husband got an offer in Fairfax, and instead of moving all of us down there, we're thinking of having him work M-F and coming home on the weekends. We currently live in NJ, so its not that far of a drive (we made it in 3 hours). This seems to be a new trend as we're finding out. My question is are there any studios or any one bedroom apts in the area? He's thought about getting a roommate. Anybody else here working in NOVA and going home on the weekends out of state?

Oh, we did that too and it lasted 3 months. I thought I could handle it but it was awful. I had to take care of the kids by myself which was super stressful, I missed my husband and my friend and I slowly started to resent him for taking the position. We sold our home and moved to Ashburn all together. I am so happy we did so. Good luck to you-I hope you have a better experience than us.

[SweetAsRain]

Wow. Didn't think it would be that bad!
I guess we were trying to avoid having to sell our home in such a shaky market let alone find a new one. BTW, do kids start school in September or August down there? Thanks for the honesty!

[claremarie]

Commuting for a few months makes good sense if your husband has some uncertainties about the job and/or living in Virginia, or if you need to do some work to get your house ready to sell. There are a number of extended-stay hotels and short-term apartment complexes that would work for him in that situation.
But please consider carefully before trying this out for an indefinite period. The drive between NOVA and NJ involves some of the most congested and dangerous stretches of interstate on the east coast, and construction/weather/accident delays are very common, especially on Friday evenings and Sunday afternoons.

[SweetAsRain]

Your right. We have to definitely weigh our options on this.

[NOVAmtneer82]

Traffic in the DC area is an absolute nightmare, your husband won't make it home in anything close to 3 hours on a Friday evening..

[Azmordean]

Originally Posted by busymommy3

Your right. We have to definitely weigh our options on this.

Yeah, I'm not married (young single guy here!), but I'd also recommend you all come down. Yes, the housing market is down right now so you won't get as much for your house. BUT it also means the house you get in NOVA won't be as expensive! In my mind, a buyers or sellers market only matters for first time buyers, because if you are *replacing* a house, the benefits and negatives are a wash.

A young family like you guys should be together - if you aren't I think you all are going to miss out! The schools in Fairfax are excellent, and you should be able to find something somewhat affordable if you are willing to consider a townhouse. I think you will be much happier all in NOVA together than commuting even if you have to live in a lesser house. When you think about it, the commute on weekends really only gives you Saturday with your husband - Friday he'll get home late, and Sunday he'll have to drive back for work. One day a week. That's just not enough for a young family with young kids! Plus he will miss out on all their activities, and both you and he will miss out on chances to develop a couples social life in *either* location. So yeah, stay together

[MovefromFla]

Originally Posted by mtneeratheart

Traffic in the DC area is an absolute nightmare, your husband won't make it home in anything close to 3 hours on a Friday evening..

Also, I want to add, that I am originally from the New England area and regularly travelled to NJ and NYC. I am very familiar with traffic in NYC and NJ. I also lived in Florida and had to experience the nightmare of I-95 in Miami as well. That being said, I am used to traffic, however, the traffic here can be horrendous. There is no way your husband will make it to N.J. in 3 hours on the weekends coming from the D.C. area.
D.C. to NYC takes us 5.75 hours (with good weather) and my husband going over the speed limit!!

I am sure that only you and your husband knows what is the best decision regarding this move. However, I just wanted to reiterate how horrible the traffic is in this area and what a nightmare his weekend commutte will be if you decide to go that route.
Good luck with it all!