I'm Loving NoVA! (Arlington, Alexandria, Reston: apartments, restaurant, military)

[Legs1357]

Originally Posted by ScranBarre

That's a sad commentary on society when people are admittedly too self-absorbed to pay a stranger the time of day.

No offense but I think you need to stop judging everyone else and what they may or may not be comfortable with. Granted, I would definitely help somebody else up if they fell (and have done so before) but different people grew up differently and just because somebody doesn't respond the same way in public doesn't make them "rude" or "cold" (not that I'm justifying not helping someone--that would probably be the bystander effect playing out here, i'm strictly talking about greeting strangers).

[SteelCityRising]

Originally Posted by Legs1357

No offense but I think you need to stop judging everyone else and what they may or may not be comfortable with. Granted, I would definitely help somebody else up if they fell (and have done so before) but different people grew up differently and just because somebody doesn't respond the same way in public doesn't make them "rude" or "cold" (not that I'm justifying not helping someone--that would probably be the bystander effect playing out here, i'm strictly talking about greeting strangers).

I WILL judge anyone who decides not to render aid to someone who is visibly in need. Why would you not want to help someone who could obviously use it? I could have just let that lady flop around on the ground for a few moments like a turtle, but I didn't. I wasn't looking for an "atta boy," but I'm just tiring of feeling like the only one sometimes who tries to pay attention to the others around me and to how I can better THEIR lives instead of only advancing myself. I've already noticed that so many people down here "push" you out of their way because they're in such a bloody mad dash to get absolutely nowhere---most often to the next red light, where you pull up right beside them and look over at them with their arms craned agains the side of their heads in a huff. What's the rush? Running late for work? Leave earlier, move closer to your workplace, or get a different job (there ARE jobs available despite the recession). I'm noticing not only in NoVA but with society in general that people are becoming MUCH more disconnected from one another as technology continues to advance---I know some friends who can no longer send formal e-mails without lacing them with "LOL, ROFLMAO, WTG, 4EVER", and other slang texting terms. It's sad. Someday people won't even want to leave their homes or vehicles anymore and just have machines do all of their services for them without any other human contact.

[Legs1357]

Originally Posted by ScranBarre

I WILL judge anyone who decides not to render aid to someone who is visibly in need. Why would you not want to help someone who could obviously use it? I could have just let that lady flop around on the ground for a few moments like a turtle, but I didn't. I wasn't looking for an "atta boy," but I'm just tiring of feeling like the only one sometimes who tries to pay attention to the others around me and to how I can better THEIR lives instead of only advancing myself. I've already noticed that so many people down here "push" you out of their way because they're in such a bloody mad dash to get absolutely nowhere---most often to the next red light, where you pull up right beside them and look over at them with their arms craned agains the side of their heads in a huff. What's the rush? Running late for work? Leave earlier, move closer to your workplace, or get a different job (there ARE jobs available despite the recession). I'm noticing not only in NoVA but with society in general that people are becoming MUCH more disconnected from one another as technology continues to advance---I know some friends who can no longer send formal e-mails without lacing them with "LOL, ROFLMAO, WTG, 4EVER", and other slang texting terms. It's sad. Someday people won't even want to leave their homes or vehicles anymore and just have machines do all of their services for them without any other human contact.

I'm not talking about not helping the woman, if you need help in public you should be helped, period. But my whole point being is you don't know these strangers, you don't know what's going on in their lives (maybe they can't afford to live closer to work, maybe they won't leave their job b/c they don't have the financial security to do so, etc etc) and yes people are busy. Some people don't have the luxury to not be busy because we need to support ourselves, our families, etc and maybe don't have an easy time doing it like some others. So when I'm on the metro at 8 AM going to teach all day only to go to class after that only to have to work my real job on the weekend and then study, please don't judge me if I don't want to have a lovely chat with the person that sits next to me. Yes, I'm in a hurry, no I don't have the luxury not to be.

[NOVAmtneer82]

ScranBarre, do you honestly put this much thought into how complete strangers act everyday? I certainly would've replied back to you on a trail but I also know people who would just give you a smile or might just continue on without doing anything..that in no way means they are unfriendly or rude. Some people just like to get into a "zone" while exercising and would prefer to not engage in conversation while gasping for air.

As for the zoo incident...people from around the world visit that place everyday so the fact that a few didn't help an old woman up says absolutely nothing about the relative friendliness of Northern Virginia as a whole.

I'm glad you are enjoying (or at least semi enjoying) your new home and hopefully your time here will result in many great memories. You really do however need to stop lecturing people on how you feel they should act, think, etc. Your thoughts/opinions aren't the only ones in the world and a regional information board isn't really the place to channel them.

Good luck with your new job and hopefully things will get better for you!

[george49]

Hey ScranBarre,

I tend to agree with you. I've seen a degradation of behavior that is pretty bad. All the silly excuse making for inexcusable behavior is idiotic. It's isn't a "culture" thing: it's a self-absorption.

[Yankeesfan]

An argument could be made that the self-absorption belongs to the person who makes an issue of the fact that some random passers-by don't bother to greet him. It's all in the eye of the beholder.

[SteelCityRising]

Originally Posted by george49

Hey ScranBarre,

I tend to agree with you. I've seen a degradation of behavior that is pretty bad. All the silly excuse making for inexcusable behavior is idiotic. It's isn't a "culture" thing: it's a self-absorption.

Thank you. That's my point exactly, but it's sad that so many are willing to conjure up various excuses to somehow justify socially distant behaviors. I view a stranger---any stranger---as being simply "a friend you haven't met yet," and I guess this is why through networking I already have about a dozen friends down here in only a week's time. I'm not the type to walk around at night in SE DC with a Rolex on flaunting $100 bills because I'm just "that' trusting, but saying "I'M TOO BUSY to say Hello back to someone" is kind of unusual and suspect, don't you think? We're ALL busy! I'm thankfully a "bum" right now until I start my new job next week, but after that point in time I WILL be pulling in 40+ hour work weeks, studying for graduate school, trying to avail myself to a prospective mate, upkeeping the house, running errands, paying bills, etc., and I know I'll never be "too stressed" or "too rushed" to give someone the time of day.

It's ironic people in another thread were mentioning the "Target lady" skit from SNL as a similar experience just happened with me last night. I was in a relative hurry to get in and out of the store to grab a bite to eat when I got back home, but nevertheless when I smiled and casually said "Have to make my new place more inviting" (or something along those lines) in reference to the "Welcome" door-mat the cashier was about to scan we became engaged in a five-minute conversation. She had just immigrated here from most likely India or Pakistan and spoke broken English, but in the end I still wished her the best of luck and a nice evening. There's no reason why you have to say "got no time" all the time for people like that. She's brand new to this country, and if our conversation between strangers last night helped to ease her transition and make her think well of her move to Virginia, then by golly even better to have made her day a little brighter by postponing dinner an extra five minutes!

"Too busy", "too busy", "too busy." Good for you all. I'll remember when I pass by you on the sidewalk, say "Good morning" with a smile and see you turn away to then not let you merge into my lane of traffic again if I should happen to see you put your blinker on in the 7 and recognize your reflection in your sideview mirror. Karma is sweet, isn't it?

[SteelCityRising]

Originally Posted by Yankeesfan

An argument could be made that the self-absorption belongs to the person who makes an issue of the fact that some random passers-by don't bother to greet him. It's all in the eye of the beholder.

It's mind-boggling the number of apologists in this region to the social distance I've encountered here. People are busy EVERYWHERE, not just in NoVA. People in Scranton/Wilkes-Barre also had full-time jobs, committee meetings, lengthy commutes into NJ or NYC (which put some of your "long" commutes to shame), etc., and yet I could not get over how often and frequent I'd find myself immersed with friendly chit-chat with complete strangers and how more often than not I'd be in a rush to be the first one to greet a passer-by. Nobody is "too busy" to say "Hello" in return to somebody passing by them on a lonely sidewalk. Perhaps if more people WERE concerned with the well-being of strangers and less concerned with only themselves society may indeed become a better place? I've already noticed here there is a definite "dog-eat-dog" atmosphere with people doing anything in their power to push others aside to advance themselves professionally or financially, and all I can ask myself internally is why?

You can't take a McMansion, Hummer, or Rolex with you when you are six feet under, but you can leave a LEGACY of altrusim, volunteerism, and compassion for society (i.e. Mother Teresa ring a bell?). So many here whom I've been eavesdropping seem to have a mindset that this world is here just for them to "take, take, take" without giving anything back of substance. That's a terrible way to view the world in which we live. If my "preaching" sounds a bit barfy, then too bad. I'm entitled to my opinion that people are honestly just starting to not give a rat's behind about other people because they're too fixated upon personal gain, and as long as I'm not violating the TOS with name-calling, flaming, or trolling then you're all stuck with my opinions.

[roanoker 4]

Its refreshing to read of your views of NoVa. You certainly have an imagination that brings some color to your experiences. It is interesting that
you are finding the people there haven't forgotten they are human and not
robots. My impression of NoVa has always been a gigantic parking lot of very
busy government and military people. Alexandria is my favorite place because of the waterfront and the brick sidewalks. Its too bad so many people who visit DC bypass Alexandria and miss the most important history lesson. Definately go over to DC in the Dupont Circle/Conneciticut Avenue area. The area is full of creative energetic people such as yourself! Enjoy!

[Margery]

[quote=ScranBarre;9067357]
You can't take a McMansion, Hummer, or Rolex with you when you are six feet under, but you can leave a LEGACY of altrusim, volunteerism, and compassion for society (i.e. Mother Teresa ring a bell?). So many here whom I've been eavesdropping seem to have a mindset that this world is here just for them to "take, take, take" without giving anything back of substance.

I attended a charity auction a few years ago and the auctioneer said "There's no trailer hitch on the back of the hearse, folks. You can't take it with you".