Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
"I give $30/week-$50/week to my church, and I'm still left to wonder if people judge me for giving one of the lowest amounts out of hundreds of families."
When you're a little older, you'll realize that people aren't nearly as interested in judging your appearance, clothing budget, cars, apparent salary, church gifts, sunglass-wearing, etc. as they are in worrying about themselves.
That's exactly right. No one really cares that much what people around them wear, what cars they drive, how much money they make, etc. Most people have enough other things to worry about - they don't focus on these kinds of trivial matters.
I totally agree! Maybe that's the thing about northern Virginia. People move here from all over, so there's a lot of diversity, plus everyone's busy here. We've got too many other things to think about and are too busy thinking about ourselves to waste time worrying if other people are judging us.
To be fair, it might be different for the young people who care more about image because they're trying to find a date. But once the dating days are behind you it really isn't much of an issue, IMO . As long as you get your job done, that's really all anyone cares about. People wear more or less what they damn well please, and spend their money how they damn well please. If you spend too much time worrying about how you appear to other people you become neurotic.
All of what you say is really true. You are probably right - young people may care about this stuff as they are trying to impress future romantic partners, but otherwise most people aren't too focused on how they appear to other people, or what other people do and wear. And, if you are that worried that everyone is watching what you are wearing or doing, you probably are going to make yourself very miserable.
Sounds like CP has declined since you were last there. There is a small comic book(/traditional RPG?) store that might have the anime stuff - my brother never visited me when I lived in MD, so I never had an excuse to go in. Smile Herb (actually in Berwyn Heights [in an old blue two-story house], but, yeah, in the greater CP area) has a small-ish amount of absolutely gorgeous jewelry and accessories (some of it local - woo!), in addition to, well, herbs (and soaps and candles and stuff like that). The 'General Store' part of Franklin's, in Hyattsville, also has some really adorable artisan jewelry. But that was basically it, when I lived there from '06-'08.
That's really a shame. There were some neat stores over that way, and my friends lived there a couple of years before you did. I blame Ikea...LOL...since before Ikea, it seemed to be a smaller area. I know the Hollywood area tries to hold on to the old CP, but it may have changed. Well, come to think of it, I do think my friend supported the one store that seemed to have a bit of everything, since she did easily 90% of her gift shopping in that store. Well, at least the commercial interests cannot take over Takoma Park!
__________________
All the world's a stage, and all the men and women merely players: they have their exits and their entrances; and one man in his time plays many parts, his acts being seven ages.
~William Shakespeare (As You Like It Act II, Scene VII)
I tend to think the same, however many people buy houses that they cannot afford just to impress other people (hence this 'Great Recession' / 'credit crunch' we're with all of the defaults and foreclosures) - and that's materialism! And then of course you have those who've just inherited their wealth.
What percentage of Americans inherit wealth? Is it even 1%?
How do you which people can't afford their houses? The 2% going through foreclosures? Perhaps they had a change in circumstances that made their once affordable house unaffordable?
Who buys houses to impress other people? Don't most people buy the house they want to live in? And why do you care what anyone buys?
This is true, however I lived in NoVA as a college student for a year before transferring and felt pressured by my peers to wear new clothes, go to restaurants/clubs/DC (which are expensive to do!). I was friends with people from many different groups and it was the same in each one. The difference is that here in Richmond you can literally wear the same thing almost everyday and it's considered acceptable, even cool (at least for people my age). And with the amazing public transportation in NoVA you'd think more people would not have cars . The public transit in Richmond sucks, yet many people do not have cars, but instead have mopeds or ride bikes. I know that college students aren't representative of areas as a whole, but I think it is somewhat representative of the overall vibe of the place, or how they feel in their environments.
Sure there is materialism everywhere, but from personal experience you'll find it to a greater extent in NoVA than in Richmond, or the rest of Virginia for that matter (with the exception of Charlottesville). That's my last $.02
edit: and it has nothing to do with the ability to buy, as a large portion of VCU's students are actually from NoVA (i think it's around 40%)
Sounds like you are uncomfortable living in an area with more wealth. Glad that you are more comfortable in Richmond. But wearing the same thing day after day might be indicative of a slight hygiene issue.
What the heck is materialism? If you like nice stuff and can afford it...who's (whose?) business is it? I certainly don't spend any time thinking about what other people do, nor do I give a hoot what anybody thinks about what I do...except, of course, my lovely wife and kids/step kids.
When I see a particularly nice house, I think "good for them....they must be successful at something". The only cars that impress me are very special ones...ones that are hand built or require a nationwide search and tons of cash to acquire. Benzes and Bimmers, etc?...nahhh, any idiot with a good FICO can sign on the dotted line and drive out in one. But still, if you like those cars...go for it!
Now, my wife is a bit of a clothes hound...but she turns heads everywhere she goes, and I LOVE watching peoples' expressions when we're out and about. I'm sure they think she must be a "rental"...LOL
Great post! Well said. Who cares what someone else chooses to buy?!
What percentage of Americans inherit wealth? Is it even 1%?
How do you which people can't afford their houses? The 2% going through foreclosures? Perhaps they had a change in circumstances that made their once affordable house unaffordable?
Who buys houses to impress other people? Don't most people buy the house they want to live in? And why do you care what anyone buys?
No.
But in any case, if it's out of your budget then that makes you materialistic. that's all i was saying
I think how one perceives this region's abundance of affluence largely stems from where they were originally derived. In my personal situation I relocated to NoVA from Scranton/Wilkes-Barre, PA, which is a horribly impoverished area. At my high school the students who came from newer tract-home subdivisions that looked like Loudoun Valley Estates or Ashburn Farms were the "rich kids", even though by NoVA standards they'd be considered "middle-class." My parents, both college-educated (also an oddity in this old coal region), earned about $90,000 combined for a while, and I myself was a "rich kid" in suburban Scranton, even though technically my parents would be earning less than the median household income here in NoVA.
In my hometown area if you were driving a new car (any style) you were doing well for yourself. Here in NoVA my 2008 Mazda3 sedan is dwarfed by BMWs, Audis, Lexuses, etc. at every stoplight here in Reston. Back "home" people would consider it a bi-weekly treat to go to a family dinner at Applebee's. Here in NoVA families might go to a place like P.F. Chang's on a Friday then Bertucci's on Saturday without batting an eye at the bill. Back home most people could only afford to give $20/week to their churches. I've served as an offering counter at my new church here in NoVA, and most people give at least $100/week, with many more giving $250+ per week. In Scranton the "rich kids" shopped at Hollister or Abercrombie & Fitch. In NoVA those are "middle-class" stores.
For myself it's been a huge adjustment to realize a lot of people do judge me for earning less than half the region's median household income (and earning just a hair too much to qualify for subsidized housing). I give $30/week-$50/week to my church, and I'm still left to wonder if people judge me for giving one of the lowest amounts out of hundreds of families. I came from an area in which I was considered "rich" for living a typical middle-class lifestyle to being considered "poor" for livign a typical middle-class lifestyle, and that's been a very humiliating experience. Most 23-year-olds would kill to be earning a $40,000 salary in an upwardly-mobile position. Then again most 23-year-olds don't also live in the most affluent area of the country---a place that caters to those who have money nearly exclusively. Let's take Reston as a prime example. It was originally founded as a community that would welcome ALL people of ALL income levels at ALL life stages. Our fabulous "fake downtown" is home to Morton's Steakhouse, McCormick & Schmick's, Cosi, Passion Fish, Il Fornaio, Paolo's, Pottery Barn, Williams-Sonoma, Apple, etc., etc. Would someone mind telling me how anyone who is NOT wealthy is supposed to be able to "enjoy" Reston? Today I've learned that every single peer I've befriended in Reston absolutely HATES Reston just as much as I do for this very same reason---it is geared exclusively towards the affluent (and since most on this sub-forum are upper-middle-class they don't give a damn about those like us who have to live here and can't "enjoy" anything here).
In my eyes this is most definitely a materialistic area. If it wasn't, then why does every other person drive a large SUV or a luxury sedan? Why do people here consider granite countertops, stainless steel appliances, hardwood flooring, etc. to be "standard" instead of "luxury?" Why are there so many high-six-figure and even seven-figure homes in places like Great Falls, McLean, Arlington, Vienna, and Reston? Why are all of these crappy fake "town centers" in the area filled with 90% upscale-oriented retail/restaurants? Why do I see so many people here wearing sunglasses at night? Why do so many I know focus so much on $$$ and how to acquire more of it? People on this sub-forum can claim anything they'd like, but most are probably so blinded by their own spending habits that they've never even stopped to consider the fact that perhaps conspicuous consumption IS a noticeable problem here.
Sounds like you have some problems with no longer being considered rich, or well off, and a fair amount of resentment for those who have more than you have. You've mentioned the car thing numerous times, how many people who drive fancier cars than your car. Don't you think that's rather materialistic to care so much about what other people buy?
You seem to be VERY focused on money and how others choose to spend their's. Why would you care?
I've yet to see anyone wearing sunglasses at night.
You need to get over being so judgmental and so envious of those who have more because there will ALWAYS be people who are richer and have more than you. You will never win that competition and will make yourself playing that one sided game. Your focus on money and material things will only make YOU miserable while the rich will continue to enjoy their hard earned money.
Ever notice those who complain about materialism and conspicuous consumption are resentful and envious of those who have more than they have? No one is making them feel bad. No one is even giving them a thought. Everyone else is just living their lives, living where they choose, and buying what they want to buy. And why shouldn't they do that? Why should they not buy the car that they want to protect the feelings of someone else who can't afford to buy that car? Whose feelings are more important? Why should the rich cater to the envious? The problem is not the other people, who buy more expensive cars, it's their own envious attitudes!
But in any case, if it's out of your budget then that makes you materialistic. that's all i was saying
No. That's incorrect. Sorry to keep pressing this point, but the definition of the word "materialism" has nothing to do with the cost of an item or whether or not you can afford it. It is all about giving a material item way too much importance. You can be materialistic and own nothing at all--for example, if you're obsessed with what other people have. You can also own all sorts of things and not be materialistic if you don't spend your time obsessing on your possessions.
Here's the definition:
ma·te·ri·al·ism
1.preoccupation with or emphasis on material objects, comforts, and considerations, with a disinterest in or rejection of spiritual, intellectual, or cultural values.
2.the philosophical theory that regards matter and its motions as constituting the universe, and all phenomena, including those of mind, as due to material agencies.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Maybe that's the thing about northern Virginia. People move here from all over, so there's a lot of diversity, plus everyone's busy here. We've got too many other things to think about and are too busy thinking about ourselves to waste time worrying if other people are judging us. 
There is a small comic book(/traditional RPG?) store that might have the anime stuff - my brother never visited me when I lived in MD, so I never had an excuse to go in. 
Smile Herb (actually in Berwyn Heights [in an old blue two-story house], but, yeah, in the greater CP area) has a small-ish amount of absolutely gorgeous jewelry and accessories (some of it local - woo!), in addition to, well, herbs (and soaps and candles and stuff like that). The 'General Store' part of Franklin's, in Hyattsville, also has some really adorable artisan jewelry. But that was basically it, when I lived there from '06-'08.
. The public transit in Richmond sucks, yet many people do not have cars, but instead have mopeds or ride bikes. I know that college students aren't representative of areas as a whole, but I think it is somewhat representative of the overall vibe of the place, or how they feel in their environments.
Today I've learned that every single peer I've befriended in Reston absolutely HATES Reston just as much as I do for this very same reason---it is geared exclusively towards the affluent (and since most on this sub-forum are upper-middle-class they don't give a damn about those like us who have to live here and can't "enjoy" anything here). 
