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Oh my God, everyone is so funny on here. What a great thread. I laugh harder each time I read more.....what great responses everybody!!!!
When the kids talk to us like we're stupid:
1. What do you think I was born yesterday?
2. I didn't just come down with the rain you know.
3. I didn't just fall off a truck you know.
My dad's expression, when we were kids, to try to make us understand how easy we had it: "Did you ever hear someone say they were so poor they couldn't afford shoes? Well, when I was a kid, my family was so poor we couldn't afford feet"
Location: Finally made it to Florida and lovin' every minute!
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I think I've used almost every one of these! My favorite, though, is "not the brightest bulb in the chandelier" - mainly because I worked in a chandelier factory and thought that it was original from there.
Here's one I didn't see: "well, that went over like a fart in church" right after a not-so-brilliant suggestion.
"There is an ass for every seat" is used a lot in our house
"If they could send a man to the moon,why can't they send the rest of them?"
"Imported species,runs wild,overtakes everything,and is here to stay" perfect description of sons/daughters new boyfriend/girlfriend
"Jesus wept" is one of my favorites
"if you give away the milk,no one will buy the cow"my mother on my unmarried state
"if you keep bringing home the bull,you will keep cleaning up the bull****" my response to my 5x married mother
"would you like to be a child abuse statistic?"I had a very well spoken child
"I support retroactive abortion" He knew what that meant also
"It's evil,bring a stake and the garlic"
"A woman needs a man like a fish needs a bicycle."
And my mom's favorite saying whenever one of us broke up w/ a bf or gf, "just b/c you missed the first bus doesn't mean there won't be another one coming along later". My dad also added, "there are plenty more fish in the sea".
My grandfather used to say "there ain't nothing up a skirt but trouble",
"Never chase a woman or a bus, cause there'll be another one in 5 minutes."
"Never work for a lazy man, 'cause the SOB will kill you."
My father, on the other hand, upon hearing of another experience that would cost money (car accident, failed appliance, etc), would raise his eyes up and say "Cross your feet, we've only got 3 nails", usually with his arms outstretched.
Another was concerning a guy who wouldn't work unless closely supervised was, "Useless as teats on a boar hog."
My mother commenting on a selfish act, "So, then, it's pull up the ladder, because I'm on board, huh?"
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What a Night!
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