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Thanks NWV. I am breathing easy and glad to see these responses. Funny, I looked on the web for some info before posting here...but somehow felt I would get some "real" answers from everyone here. CD people are so great!
Long story short, yesterday someone asked me if so-and-so came to my husband's funeral almost 3 years ago. I couldn't remember (the day was a bit of a blur with a lot of people), so I got out the guest book.
To my dismay, I discovered there are at least 30 to 40 people who were never sent a thankyou card for attending my husband's visitation and/or funeral. I do remember writing thank you's at the time and my sister-in-law & two nieces were helping me. They each borrowed the guest book and were supposed to check off whomever they sent a thanks to. I was writing thankyou notes for the flowers and charity donations while they had the guest book.
Too many cooks in the kitchen it looks like, and not doing a good job of communication. There is one page in particular that I am positive - not one soul listed on that page r'cvd a thankyou.
Should I send one now, with an apologetic explanation? Or should I just let it go as a lesson learned?
Thanks (really! ) in advance.
Piper, of the people listed on the page of the guest book that you think were missed, is there a really close friend that you could ask?
I mean if it's really bothering you and you want to rectify it somehow maybe first you need to establish if it actually happened? It's possible that whomever was writing out the thank you cards for you actually did send one to the people on that page, they may just have forgotten to tick them off.
I suspect that as you've not heard anything to the contrary from the people on that page that either they DID receive a thank you OR they didn't and it doesn't bother them at all.
If you are able to establish that these people were in fact missed and it bothers you, perhaps you could make a donation to a charity on their behalf? Personally though, whilst I understand that you are upset at the possibility these people were missed, I really think you have nothing to be distressed about. If I was on that page I'd not be offended at all. I would not have attended your husband's funeral expecting that you, in such a dreadful time in your life, would be going to all the trouble of sending me a card thanking me for my attendance. I would have been at the funeral in the first place to honour your husband and to offer my support to you. I think you'll probably find that everyone else that came feels the same.
I'm really sorry that you lost your husband. I really don't think you need to worry about those that may or may not have received a thank you for their attendance. Most likely they've not given it a second thought.
Piper, of the people listed on the page of the guest book that you think were missed, is there a really close friend that you could ask? ...If I was on that page I'd not be offended at all.
thx moonshadow! The general consensus here has been the same. I'd rep ya but my reserve seems to be low!
This is a somewhat small town & no one's brought it up yet. If my friend hadn't asked about someone, I never would have opened the book to go looking & would have been none the wiser.
Hey Pipers, sorry about the loss of your husband. If someone on that page is someone you see now and again, I would just say something to them in person I have never received a thank you for attending a viewing and or funeral. Unless you feel passionate about it or you can't live with yourself, then send a note, otherwise no.
thx moonshadow! The general consensus here has been the same. I'd rep ya but my reserve seems to be low!
This is a somewhat small town & no one's brought it up yet. If my friend hadn't asked about someone, I never would have opened the book to go looking & would have been none the wiser.
You're welcome and I figured as much. (that the consensus would be the same)
Truly couldn't imagine that anyone would have the gracelessness to complain about something like that or be miffed by it.
I do know how you feel about discovering things like that though (not specifically that instance) and being mortified that you've done it but people are very understanding of those kinds of situations in my experience. (as they should be)
well let me put my un-needed two pennys in here. Un-needed cause I agree with everyone else. I would only add that when my Grandma died we did not send out any notes -- only to those who helped or provided assistance during that time we gave a hearty thanks and a donation in thier names to the church.
Mostly remember that times of 'specialized family times' such as funerals are for you, the family. I know you most likely said thank you for coming or someone else did to those people and that should do well enough. The focus was and should have been on you and your needs not thiers. So feel not sad about a few people lost in a shuffle of craziness. I am amazed that you even attempted such a feet at such a hard time.
An Idea if you chose to broke the subject with a few special folks who might have been forgotten or maybe werent forgotten but you want to let them know again how special they were during that time. Write a small note of thanks on a seperate peice of paper and add in to your Christmas/Holiday/or even birthday card. I do that from time to time for those who are just so special to me. A reminder is always a life lifter.
I have notice my mother and her friends do that more now, send special un-needed thanks for something small.
Just another idea anyone can use.
Kerowyn, that is a great idea. In fact it would spur me on this year to send out Christmas cards.....period!
The last several years, I buy a couple boxes but don't use them. I have quite the supply now!!
Kerowyn, that is a great idea. In fact it would spur me on this year to send out Christmas cards.....period!
The last several years, I buy a couple boxes but don't use them. I have quite the supply now!!
That sounds like me I have the box sets, various partial sets, printable sheet versions so I can artisticly add my own messages by my own printer and since I am a bit of a self-made amatuer desk top publisher/print designer I have complete blank cards as well. Who needs them all?!?
I didn't even send any out the couple of years. My brain keeps thinking what will they do with all those cards? Just toss 'em out? lol So I have a wee back log of cards as well. We always have the plans to use them.. but life happens right?
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) in advance.
