Just How Bad Is The Economy, Part Two. (cost, free, house)

[JD59]

Just How Bad Is The Economy

The economy is so bad, George W. Bush appeared in a flight suit and declared economic recovery was complete.


The economy is so bad, Bill Gates had to switch to dial up.

The economy is so bad, Dick Cheney took his stockbroker hunting.

The economy is so bad, Dr. Seuss rose from the grave to write a new book: Green Eggs and Spam.

The economy is so bad that I went to my bank to get a loan, they said, "What a coincidence! That's just what we were going to ask you!"



The economy is so bad, rapper 50 Cent had to change his name to 10 Cent.

The economy is so bad, Barack Obama changed his slogan to "Maybe We Can!"

The economy is so bad, my ATM gave me an IOU!

The economy is so bad that the highest-paying job in town is jury duty.

The economy is so bad I saw a man in Costco buying one roll of toilet paper.

The economy is so bad that I saw a van full of legal immigrants illegally crossing the border to Mexico.

The economy is so bad, I became a Pastafarian hoping that a meatball will appear to me.


The economy is so bad that parents in Bevery Hills are considering raising their own children.

The economy is so bad that even people who aren't in Barack Obama's cabinet aren't paying taxes.

The economy is so bad I saw a polygamist with only one wife.

The economy is so bad that I saw someone using the sun to get a tan!



The economy is so bad that wives are having sex with their husbands because they can't afford batteries.

The economy is so bad, I saw four CEOs playing miniature golf.



The economy is so bad, Hot Wheels stock is trading higher than GM.



The economy is so bad, Obama met with three small businesses to discuss his Stimulus Plan: GM, Pfizer, and Citigroup.



It's so bad, McDonalds is introducing the 1/4-Ouncer.



The economy's so bad, Exxon-Mobil laid off 25 Congressmen.



The economy is so bad, mothers in Ethiopia are telling their children, "Finish your meal! Don't you know there are starving children in the US?"



The economy is so bad, that a prostitute asked me if she could borrow $20 until she can get back on her back.



It's so bad, a stripper was killed when her audience showered her with rolls of pennies while she danced.



The economy is so bad, that Martha Stewart did a show on creative uses for food stamps.



The economy is so bad, Angelina Jolie adopted a child from America.



The economy is so bad, my sister had an exorcism but couldn't afford to pay for it, and they re-possessed her!



The economy is so bad, that I bought a toaster oven and my free gift with purchase was a bank.



It's so bad, I got a pre-declined credit card in the mail.



The economy is so bad, hobos in Beverly Hills now have to drink tap water.



The economy is so bad, Barack Obama unveiled his plan to close Guantanamo Bay for good: He's turning it into a bank!



The economy is so bad, that the White House turkey turned down his Thanksgiving pardon-- all his wealth was in stocks, and he has nothing to live for.



The economy is so bad, Sarah Palin is only shooting moose for food, not for fun.



It's so bad, I ordered a burger at McDonalds and the kid behind the counter asked, "Can you afford fries with that?"



The economy is so bad, my niece told me she wants to dress up as a 401-K for Halloween so that she can turn invisible.



The economy is so bad, that instead of a coin toss at the beginning of the Super Bowl, they played "Rock, Paper, Scissors."



The economy is so bad that Roy's tigers are now eating him out of necessity.



The economy is so bad, the Treasure Island casino in Las Vegas is now managed by Somali pirates.



It's so bad, they built an Indian reservation on a casino.



The economy is so bad, people are standing behind George Bush wherever he goes hoping for free shoes.




The economy is so bad, Michael Phelps has to share a bong.



The economy is so bad that when Bill and Hillary travel together, they now have to share a room.



The economy is so bad, a certain celebutante changed her name to "Paris Holiday Inn."

[WhistlerMCMLV]

That was then: Will Rogers told American radio listeners, "We hold the distinction of being the only nation in the history of the world that ever went to the poorhouse in an automobile."

This is now: A few weeks ago, I told my radio listeners (I have a weekly show in Las Vegas), "We hold the distinction of being the only nation in the history of the world that ever went to the poorhouse on the Internet."