Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
We grew up pretty well-off (in the 80s and 90s), but I don't remember any of our birthday parties or our friends' birthday parties being anything like what is considered 'the norm' these days with kids.
What's with renting out facilities or getting those giant bouncy houses? Hundreds of dollars for food and party favors?
My friends who are parents are always talking about how expensive the parties are...as kids, we'd have a cake, a cooler full of cokes, and then all the kids would run around and play together, swim, play baseball...
My friends say they like renting out the facilities because the mess is not at their house then, but that just kind of seems sad...our homes are no longer a place for family and friends to come celebrate?
Teach me, oh parents of today!!! Tell me that our children aren't going to have to be caught up in this rat race!!!
Yes, I agree with you. My 3 year old doesn't go to school yet but I'm dreading the whole party thing - I don't think the big blowout is necessary or even that much fun for that matter. I think a lot of it has come about because parents have been trying to one-up each other for years and it's gotten out of hand.
I'm not going to bow to the pressure of having to plan every birthday like it's her wedding day, and I think it's a waste of resources that could go toward college or something worthwhile, like a week in Bora Bora for me. I'm going to have to get creative and find fun alternatives that won't cause too much eye rolling when the time comes.
I know it's an extreme case, but you have a daughter and you've ever seen an episode of My Super Sweet 16 (or whatever it's called) on MTV you should be very, very afraid.
My daughter is 16, another is 34, my boy is 15 and we have NEVER fallen into the party trap. The only thing we have ever done is have family and ourselves except once when the neighbors took my daughter and two of her friends for pizza.
It's ridiculous to have huge birthday parties for kids, IMO. They are almost expected these days, but somebody has to break the mold. My kids didn't go to parties and we didn't give them. When the kids were invited, we replied with 'Have a great time'. No gift giving or hoopla.
Most "elaborate" party my kids will ever have is them and 5 or 6 of thier freinds at chuck-e-cheese... other than that, one grill, plenty of hamburgers and hot dogs, have some of the guests bring a covered dish like potato salad or something one cooler of soda for the kids, perhaps one cooler of beer and wine coolers for the adults, one cake, and if i feel like it, a pinata (and camera to record the inevitable oopsys), and something for the children to do.... no reason for anything more than that
My daughter is 16, another is 34, my boy is 15 and we have NEVER fallen into the party trap. The only thing we have ever done is have family and ourselves except once when the neighbors took my daughter and two of her friends for pizza.
It's ridiculous to have huge birthday parties for kids, IMO. They are almost expected these days, but somebody has to break the mold. My kids didn't go to parties and we didn't give them. When the kids were invited, we replied with 'Have a great time'. No gift giving or hoopla.
What, ever? Even if it was their best friend's birthday? Goodness.
The thing is, by the time you have the party at home, you end up spending the same amount.....
If I have the party at the house (which I usually do), it costs an arm and a leg, paper goods, food, snacks, beverages, cake, goody bags, decorations, balloons, food, food, food!
If I just had it at a roller skating rink, for example, at $15 a head, I would probably spend less with 15 or so kids. (I've never done this because we just cannot get it down to such a number)
We have a big family and I do parties at the house. It is a nice time to come together, share a meal, etc. The kids play and have fun.
I have had one birthday party at a children's museum but it was still a lot of work getting everything there and getting into and out of the room in a couple hours.
Better to do it at home, but yes it is way more work.
I can see how people pay to have parties elsewhere, especially if the invite list is small...
My kids are 4 and 7 and we've had 2 of these kinds of parties, and will have more, I'm sure. The thought of having a bunch of kids in my house, and having to entertain them stresses me out enough that it is worth the money to have the party at a bounce house type place.
I send my kids to many b-day parties of their classmates. We've declined a few if we have other stuff going on. I figure we come out even if I send him with a $15 gift. That's about what 2 hours of entertainment, pizza, and cake would cost me anyway, and he gets to have fun with is friends. I can't imagine not letting them go for no real reason. That's very "bah humbug".
Neither of my kids had parties last year, and I'm thinking next year we might take a few friends to a movie or something instead.
When I was married we did home parties with large amounts of people that I may or may not have been related to through marriage for hours on end. I made the decorations, created the games, cooked all the food, ran the games and crafts. That was the cool part. While the rest of the adults drank and gossiped, I spent the time cleaning.
I got divorced. For some reason, the more that I try to do separate parties the more his family tries to keep it a one party thing. And I don't want to break the divorce guidelines or make my son feel guilty. The father said, lets have his birthday at the beach. I said, what if it rains? He said, then we will have it over here. So, I made the games, cooked the food, made the decorations for an unknown amount of people. Well, he started drinking at 6AM. At 9AM, I was at the beach, along with his parents, putting up decorations. It started raining. Where is the ex? At home, watching the weather channel and conversing with his girlfriend. She is also at the beach with her friends polishing off a bottle of wine. The rain stopped and the party went on. I worked with the kids and the adults drank and created drama that they don't even recall. We have a problem. The party is not about the dad and the girlfriend. This was a few years ago and he hasn't changed. AND it isn't my problem, we are divorced for a reason.
I cannot control the weather. I cannot control my ex. I cannot force a bunch of adults to realize that the entire party is not about them. And I'm all out of polite. Out of polite, folks. OUT. Further, I will be damned if I make excuses to my son for his father's actions.
But, let me tell you what I CAN do. I can create a party on neutral territory with a prepared guest list and a time limit. I CAN make the focus of that party on the kids and not the adults by making sure that the environment reflects that. So, if the dad wants to drink then he either shows up drunk or leaves early. Or a little from column A and a little from column B. Not my choice to make. The rest of us are busy.
This year I'm doing a Murder Mystery for about 8 kids. It lasts about 1 1/2 to 3 hours, depending. And it is going to be a lot of fun. Or else. This time I will also be doing it at my apartment.
And if someone thinks that they have to be keeping up with that, then they are in far sadder shape than I. Because they don't know the half of it.
Last edited by Pandamonium; 07-25-2010 at 12:06 AM..
All it does is teach children to always be thinking about themselves...it's already such a "ME ME ME" world and some are encouraging that.
We should be teaching children that you go to a birthday party to celebrate THAT friend and not to see what YOU can get out of the party. (sigh)
I also agree that the parties have gotten out of hand. The places around here charge close to $300 or more for a party with 8 to 15 kids. I'm sorry but my children so far only have family parties at the house, no friend parties. We also have a tradition of keeping them out of school on their birthdays and taking them anywhere they would like to go for a special birthday trip with mom and dad. We'd much rather spend money on a day trip for one on one time with our child to make them feel special then blowing it on a 1 hour and 30 minute party that is rushed by in some facility with a bunch of friends they see everyday in school.
In the future I plan on letting them pick 2 good friends and taking them all out to a movie or something to celebrate.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Out of polite, folks. OUT. Further, I will be damned if I make excuses to my son for his father's actions. 
