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That's exactly what we did for a year! My dh lived in a small apt while I stayed behind with the kids in the "big house".
I'm not trying to nitpick but I'm not sure I understand. He's had this job for a year and benefits are only kicking in this December? That seems odd. Don't they usually kick in 6 months after the date of hire? Am I missing something?
You keep looking for solutions and asking for advice, but then you dismiss them off hand. In my experience "I can't" really equals "I won't" about 99% of the time. You don't WANT to do what you may need to do and so you are left scratching by offering excuse after excuse to any solution sent your way.
ummmm....where did I ask for solutions? I simply inquired about the particulars of the school lunch program, mainly because I couldn't make their website work!
And, did I miss something? what "solutions" have been offered here, other than I lie about my income to qualify for reduced lunch, or break a lease to move back into our home?Hardly the thing you'd expect from a "piece of work".
All this bashing came about when other posters took it upon themselves to research my other posts and try to string it into something it wasn't, like the perceived discrepancey about Cobra.
Where did I ever say we "can't" or "won't"? we've done a better job of taking care of ourselves than probably most of you on this thread. In 4 years, we've never had a late payment, not been in default or foreclosure, still have excellent credit. Despite what life has handed us, we've rolled with the punches.
But since I "inquired' about a possible govt aid program, and I bought my children a few shirts, well, then, I'm some sort of scum and to be treated any way you wish. If you all are having some sort of bad day/bad life crisis, don't use bashing me as an excuse to vent to the world.
what seems to bother most of you so much is that we finally moved in together as a family again, after a year apart. I don't get it----two house payments are cheaper than one? things didn;t line up on a (hopefully) temporary basis. Before we moved, we hoped we could sell our home, when that didn't work out, we tried to rent it, thought we had a renter, then found out he had terrible credit and rental history (btw, he was ex-military, for whatever you'd like to make of that, after the military he just drifted into a n'er do well).
Although you "don't want to hear" about medical problems, since you're so busy judging me, health problems were the final push to move. I've suffered with RA (rheumatoid arthritis) for years, but always managed to cope with it. Just last June, I developed another problem, a neuromuscular problem, that makes it impossible for me to maintain a household alone. Perhaps I didn't elaborate on it enough, perhaps that was a gloss over, but they think its MS, but some varient, still trying to diagnosis. I can't walk without feeling like a reed blowing in the wind. someone asked if I'm fat, quite the opposite, I'm somewhat thin. I can't walk without someone supporting me. I managed the last two weeks at home by having the kids help. I could drive (this problem seems to affect my left side, I can drive fine), they would help me to the car, go to the store, then dependeing on how I felt, sometimes I could go in leaning on the cart, other times I sent them in with a list. I tried to keep the list simple. fortunately, we knew many friendly store employees and they helped the kids. I gave them my debit card and called ahead to the store manager to explain.
It reached the point I couldn't manage a walkin shower. I needed something for support. The last week I just resorted to sponge baths. One night I got up to go into the kitchen and just all but fell over, not dizziness, more a lack of coordination. I clung to the counter, ds heard and helped me back to bed. he said it looked like I was a piece of paper blowing in the wind.
When my dh first got this job, we stayed behind, mainly to see how it would work out. I've known too many people who followed the job, only to have it not work out. After a year we figure this is as secure as anything in this economy, and set about the task of moving. We thought we had it figured, we're not novices at the business of living, tried to time things, but my health dictated a speedier move. That, along with the housing market just not in our favor, and, well, we're in a hopefully temporary financial bind.
We never lived paycheck to paycheck, we always had assets, emergency funds, etc, but circumstances cut into them.Everyone who has difficulty selling a home isn't some sort of bum. Homes sometimes sit on the market for 200--300 days or more. Yes, we've reduced the price several times.
since moving in with my dh I can't run errands, so, wait for him to pick up stuff. Its frustrating because I'm the better shopper, although he does price shop, not like I do, with coupons, sales flyers, etc. In the past two years I've had two back surgeries, amassing $12000 of unreimbursed medical bills, that's after insurance paid. We're on a payment plan and current with that.
I don't know why I'm being so bashed for looking for some way to obtain a little financial relief. this all started whe my kids brought home a flyer from school about the reduced lunch program. What's so awful about looking into it? BTW, we paid $10000 in income tax last year, mostly on 401k withdrawls, so its not like we aren't paying into the system. At most we'd benefit about $50/month in reduced lunch benefits, and that wouldn't be our total lunch cost, anyways. The school lunch portions are so small I'm starting this week to send them an extra bag of stuff, sandwich, fruit, etc, to keep them going. so no, I'm hardly depending on the govt to feed my kids. Thart piddly lunch would barely feed a goldfish!
For those of you with nothing better to do, research my other threads, my struggles with the move, my sudden, unexplained health problems right in the middle, etc, and weave it into some sort of burden on society. Now I'm really not interested in this thread anymore, so have fun with whatever you can come up with to bash me.
I'm not trying to nitpick but I'm not sure I understand. He's had this job for a year and benefits are only kicking in this December? That seems odd. Don't they usually kick in 6 months after the date of hire? Am I missing something?
It al depends on the employer, I'm sick of defending the cobra thing, think what you like!
It looks like everything will be better in December then. You'll have health insurance and can stop paying COBRA and by then you'll be sure to have a renter. I hope it works out that way for your family.
I'm not sure how you were paying twice for food - you eat the same amount of food no matter how many houses you buy it for if the same number of people are eating it.
Aren't you putting yourself further in the hole by no longer having the home you are paying a mortgage on as your primary residence - for tax purposes I mean?
Oh and I moved my entire family across the world for less than $5K and I packed my own boxes. Maybe you should have sold some of your stuff if you had so much of it.
Marylee - it is not that people are unsympathetic to economic situations. We've all had them to some extent at some point. What people are finding frustrating is your lack of accepting any responsibility for the problems you post about. You don't want responsibility nor do you want your children to be accountable. Anytime anyone suggests anything, you just come back here with one excuse or another as to why it can't be done or that you've tried it before (even if it was years ago) -it's one whine after another. You need to get your family under control (spending and attitude) one way or another or things will only get worse. Your kids will never learn accountability if you are unwilling to let them suffer the consequences of their actions. Every time you blame someone else or save them from themselves, you add to the problem and delay the solution. Find help. Good luck.
How are we being irresponsible by maintianing our households, payments, etc?
How dare you accuse me of being irresponsible with spending, when the only indulgence I made in years was a few shirts for my kids? I'm wearing stuff years old.
what "escuses" am I offering? what "advice" has been made here, other than to break a lease, or default on a mortgage? Is that how you would do things? Seems that's a bit more "irresponsible" than buying a few shirts.
Who am I blaming, and just WTF was this thread all about in the first place, an inquiry about a govt program, just that, an inquiry. I've since been told to lie about my income to qualify, and either break a lease to move back into the home we own or default on the mortgage, hey, that seems a little irresponsible to me? Or maybe some people see things a different way?
I'm not sure how you were paying twice for food - you eat the same amount of food no matter how many houses you buy it for if the same number of people are eating it.
Aren't you putting yourself further in the hole by no longer having the home you are paying a mortgage on as your primary residence - for tax purposes I mean?
Oh and I moved my entire family across the world for less than $5K and I packed my own boxes. Maybe you should have sold some of your stuff if you had so much of it.
Oh, come on....you know perfectly well it takes more to feed two households than one, regardless of how many people in them. en donde comen tres, comen quatro.
The home is still a tax write off, as unoccupied rental property.
Our employer reimbursed us $5000 for moving, and we did sell a ton of stuff before moving, go read my thread about moving since you're so interested in me and my business.
Last edited by MaryleeII; 09-08-2010 at 05:09 PM..
How are we being irresponsible by maintianing our households, payments, etc?
How dare you accuse me of being irresponsible with spending, when the only indulgence I made in years was a few shirts for my kids? I'm wearing stuff years old.
what "escuses" am I offering? what "advice" has been made here, other than to break a lease, or default on a mortgage? Is that how you would do things? Seems that's a bit more "irresponsible" than buying a few shirts.
Who am I blaming, and just WTF was this thread all about in the first place, an inquiry about a govt program, just that, an inquiry. I've since been told to lie about my income to qualify, and either break a lease to move back into the home we own or default on the mortgage, hey, that seems a little irresponsible to me? Or maybe some people see things a different way?
I did not say financially irresponsible. I said you need to allow your kids to accept responsibility for their own actions and you need to stop blaming everyone from the lunch ladies to the school principal because your son can't follow rules and handle a lunch account. Your irresponsibility is as a parent for not allowing them to take this step in growing up. You complain about your kids all the time and yet apparently do nothing to solve the real problem...
It looks like everything will be better in December then. You'll have health insurance and can stop paying COBRA and by then you'll be sure to have a renter. I hope it works out that way for your family.
Ok, that's how we planned it to work and it still will, given a little more time.
The suggestions we either pack up and move back, incurring more moving costs, and default on our current lease, or let our house go back to the bank, are ridiculous!
BTW, for all those of you who keep suggesting I short sale my home or simply default, it doesn't work that way. You don't simply stop paying and walk away. There's tax consequences to defaulting, not to mention legal fees, along with ruining your credit. Hardly the "responsible" thing to do.
Defaulting on a lease doesn't leave you free and clear, either. You can be sued for the balance of the lease, plus court costs, attorney fees, and ruin your credit and rental history. All that for the sake of a few measley lunches? Really, I'm beginning to think I'm talking to a bunch of loons!
By Christmas we will be in better shape, get the Cobra monkey off our backs, hopefully get the place rented, and I'm looking into some more WAH contracts. Until then, we're just looking for some short term solutions, sorry to have stirred up such hostility.
Last edited by MaryleeII; 09-08-2010 at 05:10 PM..
If the OP speaks to her husband the way she addresses people on the forum, I think he would have been happier living in the small apartment, leaving her in the big house.
MaryleeII, with all of your medical problems, leaving you unable to work, have to applied for Social Security Disability?
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things didn;t line up on a (hopefully) temporary basis. Before we moved, we hoped we could sell our home, when that didn't work out, we tried to rent it, thought we had a renter, then found out he had terrible credit and rental history (btw, he was ex-military, for whatever you'd like to make of that, after the military he just drifted into a n'er do well). 
