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i'm in a somewhat similar dilemma but maybe in the rough-patch part. we've 2 kids, our marriage is definitely strained for reasons that have nothing to do with our kids. my wife wants another child and i'm not saying i don't but i don't want one until our marriage is sorted out. unfortunately, she sees that as a statement that i don't have faith the marriage will get sorted out. i'm not willing to bring a child into the world to prove i have faith in a marriage but that might end it - to ben 979 i'd love to know how this point was addressed during your rough patch.
Maybe you could tell her that you want to devote as much TIME and ATTENTION to HER as possible. As a woman, I would find this difficult to argue against.
Maybe you could tell her that you want to devote as much TIME and ATTENTION to HER as possible. As a woman, I would find this difficult to argue against.
i empathize 100%
i have a 5.5 yr old girl and we are expecting another girl in a couple of weeks
my guy is fabulous with my daughter (from a previous situation)
he is very loving
in the beginning he agreed - 2 children
now with his biological 1st almost here he is pushing this 3rd idea (hoping for a boy)
i'm not into it at all and if the after effects of tubal ligation were not so haunting i would have the procedure done.
i love mommihood - and i am good at it
i also know my limits and the type of life i would like to lead with my man and girls
you spoke my heart when you said knowing you don't want more and expecting one is dreadful - that would be
my only advice is to keep talking with her
i'm going to do the same with him
talk in $s, family goals, couple goals, energy, etc.
lay it all out with love - you have a voice too
i empathize 100%
i have a 5.5 yr old girl and we are expecting another girl in a couple of weeks
my guy is fabulous with my daughter (from a previous situation)
he is very loving
in the beginning he agreed - 2 children
now with his biological 1st almost here he is pushing this 3rd idea (hoping for a boy)
i'm not into it at all and if the after effects of tubal ligation were not so haunting i would have the procedure done.
i love mommihood - and i am good at it
i also know my limits and the type of life i would like to lead with my man and girls
you spoke my heart when you said knowing you don't want more and expecting one is dreadful - that would be
my only advice is to keep talking with her
i'm going to do the same with him
talk in $s, family goals, couple goals, energy, etc.
lay it all out with love - you have a voice too
Does he have any other children? A newborn might change his mind. Quickly.
Numbers are critical. At your age the primary concern should be working towards retirement. Most people struggle with a family of 4. The national trend is towards smaller families. IS your wife able to financially support a large family?
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