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It would depend on the neighbor. If I knew my neighbors and we had a good relationship, then I'd be all for it. Especially since we're talking about children and young adults that can and likely will do stupid things. If they knew that a neighbor might come over and see them smoking or drinking, they might not do it.
But if it was a neighbor that I didn't get along with, I'd see that as them being busybodies.
There are situation that pop up, sometimes weather related, where it's VITAL that people look out for and check in on each other. It's just basic. The lack of that sort of behavior is why people are found dead in their homes 3 weeks later with everyone stupidly scratching their heads and wondering how that sort of thing could have happened.
If the kids are old enough to be left alone then they are old enough to be taught who to trust and who not to. If you have a neighbor you don't trust then let your kids know that. Otherwise be grateful anyone thinks about the welfare of your family at all.
We try to get to know our neighbours and that goes better for some than others but still I would be OK with them knocking on the door to check if our kids were all right.
Unfortunately, today many people don't even know what their neighbors look like. We lived across the streeet from some people I only saw from a distance for over 30 years. I never would have recognized them out of context.
I find the use of "snooping around my house" quite interesting. I would welcome anybody coming to check on my children if they thought something may be wrong. A phone call, a knock on the door would be just fine.
The bigger problem is leaving the children home alone. How old are they, are they responsible, well? That is more important than the motives of the neighbor. If they are really old enough to be responsible, they should know the neighbors and how to act.
Many years ago we had a neighbor who would call if she thought something was wrong. One time a bank robber was on the run in our community. This kind woman called to tell me say "I thought you might not have heard and since you are frequently outside with the children, you should know." I very much appreciated her concern.
How many times have we heard about the murder of a poor defenseless child by a baby daddy or drugged up parent and the neighbors go on record saying " I could hear the kids crying all the time and I saw him beat her frequently but I just didn't know what to do " That is apathy at it's worst.
If they're not invited/asked to check on your kids, how would they know whether or not your kids are home alone, if your children are not drawing attention to themselves and the fact they are alone, no one would know.
If they're not invited/asked to check on your kids, how would they know whether or not your kids are home alone, if your children are not drawing attention to themselves and the fact they are alone, no one would know.
Not really. Everyday I walk to the bus stop to pick up my son. Every day I see a boy walk up the street, enter a code on his garage door, and go in through an empty garage. It is pretty obvious he's alone.
Whether or not it would bother me would depend on how well I knew the neighbor and why they were checking.
I wouldn't mind. My kids are old enough to be alone, but would be very scared if there was a tornado or severe weather. It would be nice if the neighbors checked on them.
On the other hand, I guess it would depend on the neighbor for some people. I am lucky enough to have some very nice "Grandparent" type neighbors & others with kids my kids age.
In most of the places I have lived over the years I have had really good neighbors. My kids were varying ages during this time of course. I don't know of any of them I wouldn't want to check on my kids if they were home alone (not usually) and if they thought there was a problem. Any problem. At every place I have lived I have found a neighbor I trusted enough to have a house key. Our rule for our kids is don't answer the door. If they have a key they are allowed inside. I know everyone of these ladies would knock..not just barge inside BUT they have a key. The kids know they have a key. That means they are allowed to come in the house if I am not home. Honestly is it very rare our girls are home alone. Now recently we did have a class reunion come up and were away for the weekend. Our neighbor came over and let the dogs out in the morning and fed them and let them back in the house and put them in their crates at dark for the better part of 3 days. Did she have to? No. If she hadn't we wouldn't have been able to go to the reunion activities. It was fun but maybe not totally necessary. Like Hopes, I do things for my neighbors and I expect them to return the favor by doing what is right in most situations.
The last house we lived in we had a 93 yr old lady next door. I am sure you all know we are in Girl Scouts. My daughters worked on their Good Neighbor (I think is the name of the badge) Badge. They read things for her like the phone book when she needed help. They came home from school every day and during the summers checked on her about noon every day to make sure she had on her A/C. She always forgot to turn it on and she only had 1 window unit. If we couldn't get her to come to the door do you think we would have called her daughter? You betcha. She only left her house 1 day a week to go shopping and it was either with us or her SIL. That is just what we did for each other.
Not only would I consider it okay for a neighbor to check on the kids if they knew no one else was home, I'd check on theirs as well. And I'd check on the neighbors next door, who were elderly and the wife was infirm. Every Sunday the husband would bring us a box of donuts and the sunday paper. I never understood why he did that, but it's just something he liked to do and we graciously accepted and all sat down to a donut together.
On days when he didn't show up, we looked out the window. If the garage door was up, we'd go out and knock on the kitchen door (which was through the garage) and make sure they were okay. If the door was down, we'd know they just weren't home yet and probably had a church function.
As for not trusting your immediate neighbors - if you feel you can't trust them, then you have no business raising kids near them. Your kids WILL get out of the house and roam the neighborhood at one point or another. You'd better be able to trust your neighbors or you'll be in for a world of trouble.
As for not trusting your immediate neighbors - if you feel you can't trust them, then you have no business raising kids near them. Your kids WILL get out of the house and roam the neighborhood at one point or another. You'd better be able to trust your neighbors or you'll be in for a world of trouble.
Well-how could you ever move somewhere then? You don't know your neighbors from day one. We just moved to a new neighborhood. The neighbors are nearly complete strangers to us. Why would we even tell them that our kids are home alone (our kids are old enough)?
After you live in an area for a while you do get to know people but I think it's very irresponsible to assume that just because someone lives in close proximity to you that you need to trust them.
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